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There's a very good reason why I'm a recluse...
2006-09-22 15:56:37
Okay, so, maybe not to the real world...but to me, I have several reasons.
I think of this as a good title to this journal entry...since my last entry was made almost a solid month ago. I could go on and on about how I've been busy or whatnot, but the truth of the matter is that I just have way too much personal and professional drama which keeps me from being more active. It's that drama that makes me a recluse by nature.
For example...yesterday my mom calls me and informs me that my uncle (who I adore) is in town. A lot of the family is getting together at a restaraunt that's like 2 blocks from my house for dinner. Apparently they chose the location because they wanted it to be convenient for me, since I haven't made any family appearances in over a year. I'm thinking to myself "awww...how sweet of them..." until she tells me that they want to meet between 5:30 and 6...and I don't get off work until 6. Yeah...that's great people...you really want it convenient for me, but you schedule it for a time when I can't possibly be there (or at least not on time). Brilliant! Now, before everyone chimes in with "but Raven, if you haven't seen them in over a year, how can they know your work schedule?"...they know, ok. I still keep in touch, I just don't go to the big gatherings. They were well aware of my schedule.
So, mom tells me that being late is ok. That's great. It had better be, considering that they've pretty much dictated that I have to be. So I show up...in work clothes...half an hour late. Everyone's already ordered. Brilliant! I get to sit across the table from the uncle that I like...but also from the other uncle who thinks it's his mission in life to push every button I have. So, I spend the majority of the evening trying to catch up with an uncle that I haven't talked to in months while my pain in the ass uncle tries his damndest to pick a fight with me over every aspect of my life. For those of you who are curious...these are just some of the barbs he shot my way:
1.) In regards to my RL job as a licensed veterinary technician - "Oh, so you still work for the vet? As what? Some kind of assistant? You know you'd make so much more money if you were a real nurse."
2.) When I stepped outside for a smoke - "You know, this is a non-smoking room." No shit, dumbass...see me going OUTSIDE???
3.) When I told my "good uncle" about the recent donation I'd made to a wolf conservation project, "bad uncle" butts in with - "All those damn man-eaters should be destroyed."
And my favorite...
"Why can't you be more like your cousin? She at least went to college."
At that point, I laughed so hard my sides ached. Yeah, she went to college...still hasn't finished. And I so want to be just like her - a bulemic (sp?), jobless, substance abusing head case who has more therapists than she has friends and still lives with her parents at the age of 24 becuase mommy and daddy just can't seem to stop spoiling the hell out of her. Oh yeah, and he must've forgotten the fact that I've also been to college - 2 in fact - and FINISHED at both. So yeah, I have 2 degrees to her...what was that? ZERO? Yeah, I should really be more like her.
At least I got the chance to have dinner with the uncle I actually *wanted* to see...
So yeah...with a family like that...can we not all see why Raven avoids family gatherings like the friggin' plague?? The sad part is that I'm way too polite to unload what I really want to say on them, even though they're obviously begging for it.
And that's just mom's side...we're not even going to touch my father's side...that's not a journal entry...that's a novel. Though, I can sum up dad by telling you all that when I was 18 he declared to me that I was "an emotional burden" to him.
This is why I sit in my house (like I am now), depressed, angsty and ready to snap at the first person who says "Boo." Literally, the thought of stepping foot outside my doors at this point is making me ill. I don't want to talk to them, and certainly don't want to see them. But I will, at the very least, make it out of my house to put my check in the bank so that I can buy the plane tickets to see Jubbers and go to Oni next month...because I'm so excited to see her and be a part of that con experience...I'm sure that will be a blast, and it gives me something to look forward to. :)
And now...I return to being a recluse. Sad part is that now I'm angsting over whether or not this was an "appropriate" use of my journal. lmao
Oh well... -
Bah...
2006-08-23 21:18:03
Jeez Beth...slip that entry in while I'm typing why doncha? :P
Thanks! :D
/Glomps U too. :P -
2006-08-23 21:16:47
/sees confetti...
/shock wears off...
Nerf padding...FTW!!
/runs through house *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!*
Thanks Jub, Ayane & Shino! :D
And now...unfortunately...I think I'm off to bed for another 10 hour work day awaits tomorrow...bah.
/GROUP GLOMP! -
Holy Schiznite! ('n stuff...)
2006-08-23 20:06:44
Just got an email from the folks at MechaCon...
Apparently, I swept their contest. O.O
1st Place/Best In Show: The Mark of My Sins
2nd Place: Dare To Be Anime
3rd Place: Someday
Normally, this type of moment would be cause for me to put on the nerf padding and run around my home bouncing off the walls in delight...but the shock kicked in too soon, cuz I'm still sitting here dumbfounded.
And in other news...
Josh - I gots your beta, will watch it here shortly and give you some feedback. You're kinda right...I will stalk you without mercy if you don't finish that vid...but torture? Nah...unless, of course you WANT me to torture you... :P
And apparently Archon has changed their rules, so I guess I can upload that new vid of mine earlier than October...hehehe...but I'm still gonna make the org wait til after AWA and Manifest...no fair that Sir Cookie should get a sneak peek at it. ;)
And with that...I leave you with the word that just popped into my head:
Pickle. :P -
Huzzah! ('n stuff...)
2006-08-21 20:19:53
My newest vid is done. Yes, I have a new vid...and it's DONE! As I told Jubbers yesterday..."I pronounce this child...birthed!" :P
Here's the catch...cuz I'm evil and like catches...
It won't be on the org for a couple of months. Why? Because it's going to Archon...and their rules state that it can't be made public until after the con, which if I remember right is the first weekend of October or thereabouts...
BUT...for those of you attending AWA...hopefully you'll see it there. Look for a video entitled "Erosion." (Yes, Jubbers...I decided to go with your title...::huggles:: for the great suggestion!!)
And big thanks to Judge, Rina, & Jubs for beta testing and offering input...and a HUGE thanks to Josh (Eva-Fan) for all his help with troubleshooting the encode as well as his beta input. And thanks as well for the title suggestions...some of them were just downright funny...as evidenced by this AIM conversation...
HorrorPhD: Any ideas for a title?
JudgeHolden1: Man Love
JudgeHolden1: lmao
HorrorPhD: LMAO
JudgeHolden1: The Way of the Spartans
HorrorPhD: LMAO
Wow...this is beginning to sound a lot like my vid profiles...err...oh well. Just wanted to say thanks and HUZZAH!
/goes back to dvd ripping and uploading vids for Manifest...
JOURNAL: HorrorPhD (Jen (Dr. Raven) )
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