- happy 2005-12-11 01:09:28 I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY THAT MY TESTS ARE OVER..................except I have finals this week which I am as HELL not looking forward too. SHIT...this whole thing is shit that I am going through. Will I ever get out of this dark abyss that I am living in?? will I find light??? i am writing crap right now because I am stressed out. THe only thing that I am happy about is that this week is the last week then its a long vacation which I deserve. I deserve many things in life. I sort of watched Clueless tonight the old one with Alicia Silverston. I saw it because I was really "clueless" in what I was doing instead of doing my paper. I needed to free my mind...which I do very often. Anyways....as I watched it ...I realized how my life sucks. I still don't have a boyfriend and I feel lonely. I want to be loved. Shit that is soooooooo cliche. But I do!!! when will I find Mr. Right??I know he is there somewhere. You see?? this is what happens when I watch stupid romantic movies that makes me miserable because I don;t have a boyfriend and I am not rich. I am not perfect even though I wish I was. MAN I AM SOOOO STUPID!!!!!! INSTEAD OF WRITING THIS I SHOULD BE WRITING MY FREAKIN PAPER!!!!!!!!! *********yeah I have issues***** but doesn;t anybody?????
- AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! 2005-12-05 20:17:06 OKAY MY TEST IS WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Stressed out 2005-12-03 16:51:06 So I am stressed out...............a little bit. In a minute I will do my homework. I want to finish so that I can watch anime tommorow without being worried that I have a lot of crap to do, Gosh, I HOPE HOPE HOPE TO GOD IT SNOWSON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It would be the best thing for me so that I can study for my exam on wednesday(Biology) and thursday(chemistry). THis week will be tough. I hope I will have the time to go to the movies on Friday. I thinK I'll go with my friends so that I can have a social life for once. I sometimes feel like people don;t like me because I am a closed person always keepimg things to myslef because I do not open up to them. Thats so BULLL. Sometimesmy insecurity gets to me. Sometimes i try to hard in making people like me. Its just that I do not want to be hurt. I was hurt enough during high school. Everyone made fun of me. EVERYONE. I think the teachers thought I was retarded or something thats sooo invaluable. I hated everyone. THank GOD that phase is over though.I actually don;t give a damn anymore what people think of me. I just have to be strong. Thats my problem. I am sooo weak. One little bad comment about me and I explode. I take peoples comments seriously. Like I care about my friends before myself. I am sort of like Tohru in Fruits Basket. SHe only had two friends like I do and she cared about others than herself. I am like her. I put myself last before others. One day at Starbucks there was this like astronomy thingy where it tells you your whatevr it tells you i can;t think of it now...the word. But I looked under Libra and it said that you should not put yourslef last. Because the people you care about don;t care about you. they will fotget about you because they don;t think about you. Your just somebody else like anyone else in their eyes.THIS MEANS that I should be strong and take care of myself and value myself. Because I AM IMPORTANT.
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happy /anxious
2005-11-30 23:16:21
I am happy that December is gonna be here soon because Christamas is around the corner and it s my favorite holiday of the year besides Halloween and my birthday. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I get lots of anime for presents too. Hopefully this year I'll get a gift certficate to Tokyo Kid this Japanese anime store in Harvard Square..because its sooooo expensive. $26.00 FOR A FREAKIN DVD!!! INSANE!!!! Anyways..........this month I am sooooooooo busy because I have 4 exams T_T on biology and chemistryT_T Its sad that I don;t have a social life. All my friends think i am antisocial or something because I never get out of my house or go out because i study rather than go out and have fun. Studying is like my priority.Its more than an obligation. College is fun and evrything but yet its hard when you don;t do things ahead of time. Ill probably fail all of my exams because I tend to procratinate. Procrastination is EVIL!!!!!! Its a tendency I have and a problem I have to fix. Immediately. Or else its failure from here on. UGH!!!!! I wish I were like Kagome where I go through a well and into a different world than what i am living in now.Because my life is like hell now and i really am stressed out. I wish I were Kagome. I wish I were far away from here and from everyhing. I detest exams. Okay I have to study..........bye-bye!!!!!!!!!!
^_____________^ - tired 2005-11-25 16:43:50 need to study and I am hungry.........I want rice cakes!!!!!!! wish I can go to Harvard Square. But its too far away.
JOURNAL: Miaka999
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