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A difficult assignment
2005-10-24 12:59:15
College is not supposed to be easy. It is meant to prepare you for life in the real world, where a person faces challenges on a regular basis. It is supposed to teach you how to tackle those problems and solve them on your own--in other words, it teaches you how to be an adult. That having been said, I learned how to be an adult the hard way.
And then I returned to school. I often have fewer difficulties than my younger classmates because I bring in a level of experience that none of them yet have. I've gotten used to addressing the difficulties of daily life that so many of them are sheltered from. I also tend to apply myself more. College becomes much more important to you when you're paying for it yourself. It's not often that I get truly frustrated, but every now and then, a challenge comes up that I don't know how to tackle, and it infuriates the living heck out of me. My latest frustration is a debate: Should New Orleans be rebuilt the way it was before Katrina? We didn't get to chose sides, and I got the "pro" argument.
It's enough to make me want to bash my head against the wall. It certainly has me feeling like that's what I'm doing.
I've done research for three weeks and still cannot find enough evidence to support this argument. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm approaching it with a bias--I really think that there are some serious changes that should be made to prevent this kind of disaster from repeating itself. We're supposed to learn for history, afterall. But that aside, I'm begining to wonder if I haven't been looking at it the wrong way. The meaning of "the way it was" can be subjective; that is to say, it could merely be referring to the layout. There are changes that can be implemented that would not alter the city structure. Still, I'm going to have a chat with the instructor because the impasse is driving me nuts.
Anyways--to my point (yes, there IS a point; I do try not to merely rant). There is a value to this assignment that I would never have experienced had I been allowed to choose sides. I am having to look at the other side of the debate. As frustrating as it is, one cannot really argue against someone else's standpoint unless they understand it. I had no idea how important the port of New Orleans was to trade in the US. It is our single largest port of export, and much of that is agricultural. Withouth that port, how many farmers in the midwest would be adversely affected? And what about the other nations in the world that rely on the corn and soybeans we grow? In a way, this assignment has forced me to swallow my pride and concede that there are valid reasons to restore New Orleans.
If I gain nothing else from this exercise in frustration, at least I've learned humility. -
Reflections
2005-08-31 22:31:28
As this modern world zips by--confronting us with deadlines, pressing us on tightly packed roadways where we all rush to get to our oh-so-important destinations--I am hit by a sudden longing, and a deep pang of regret. Swept up by the tumultuous urgency of now, I feared for a moment that I was losing a part of myself. I was forgetting the song of Gaia.
So many ancient cultures have a respect for the natural world that is so profound, its ultimate manifestation is a sacred reverence for life. We are bundled in technology and hidden away from nature, and it has led to the most uncomfortable disconnect that I have ever known. I spent the entire summer in a kind of daze, merely going from my paying job to my internship to my volunteer work without honing in on the cues that my spirit was giving me. I am fortunate; I was nearly broken.
The song of Gaia is inside all of us, but we have forgotten how to follow the tune. The rhythms of life--the cycle of birth, growth, death, and renewal--are not the mad dash to the finish line that so many of us consider the norm. I have learned that I must slow down to find the beat again. From there, the melody will follow.
--"angel-cat" -
An end and a beginning
2005-04-29 10:55:35
The end of the semester is fast approaching and I feel like i've been dazed through it all somehow. Where did the time go? How did the due date for my final project sneak up on me? What am i going to do with my free time...?
Ah, free time! I've almost forgotten what that feels like. My garden bekons me out with the bobbing yellow heads of narcisis and new crimson leaves on the roses. The lilacs are unfurling their leaves, revealing the delicate buds that will become the fragrant clusters of flowers I hold so dear. The cherry tree has begun to open its soft pink petals as well, signaling for me the true start of Spring. I think I'll sit on the sun-warmed earth and breathe in the scent of life for a while.
And then, perhaps, I can begin to create again. When I have found my center, the motivation to express myself in music and vision may finally lead to the completion of something new. i look forward to beginning new projects and completing the old ones which have been collecting dust in the corners of my mind. Spring cleaning begins with the self, and I shall begin again soon. -
At home with the "bug"
2005-02-02 11:31:15
Eh... if there's one thing I can't stand, it's being sick. While I SHOULD be off getting my head filled with the grand and glorious knowledge of my college instructors, I am instead stuck at home fighting off a low-grade fever, chills, shakiness, and a general case of yuck. CURSE YOU ILLNESS!!!!!
At any rate... there is an upside to not having to run around campus (and later head in to work... I don't mind missing that...). Today, if I so choose, I can once again indulge in my craving for anime. I firmly believe that being sick is the body's way of telling me--well... screaming at me actually--to slow down and stop trying to do everything all at once. True, I do have some homework to tackle, but I no longer have the pressure of trying to rush into my assignments before going to work.
Perhaps I should invite the bug over more often...?
--"angel_cat" -
Time for my addiction
2004-11-17 09:56:49
For a change, my weekend homework will be relatively light. I have no lab reports to hand in, no experimental data to summarize and no long-winded research papers with pressing due dates. A handfull of reading assignments, a brief article review, and I will be free to feed my anime addiction.
The final two volumes and movie of Rahxephon sit unopened on the DVD case, taunting me. College pressures have kept me from finishing up the series. Arjuna also rests unwatched, alongside a stack of borrowed Inu-Yasha DVD's that haven't been touched in months (fortunately, the friend that lent them to me is patient...).
I declare that Saturday will be my anime day! I vow to sit on the couch with a selection of munchies and a big warm blanket, my fuzzy-slippered feet unceremoniously perched on the coffee table. I swear that I shall not be distracted by the plaintive cries of my cats as they try to lure my attention away from animated bliss. It's about time I relaxed for once:)
--"angel_cat"
JOURNAL: angel_cat
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