JOURNAL: Krisqo (Chris Ruhl Jr)

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  • It's over!! Part 2 2006-11-22 15:49:18 Thanksgiving break... though it is nothing different than any other week. Off thursday then work friday in place of school. I offer my condolences to those in retail. I get spared the pain of being swamped until the week before christmas. Then I'm gonna die... seriously

    I got a math test back and low and behold I was left with a golden 30. Quite better then I expected. I mean, who cares about comverting from a base of 8 to a base of 2? Who does math in binary anyway. I mean, where will knowing 42667 in base eight is equal to 1010010100010001001 binary help me in my future endevors as some schmuck in a dead end job in some huge corporation who spends his days talking to the printer that jams every twenty prints? Well, at least Col. Sanders (Swear to god they could be twins) gave everyone 30 bonus points so that happy 30 became a Glorious 60. Whoot!

    Now came computers. Now, I got all my work done for Microsoft Access last friday and I was ready to hand the stuff in on monday... well, there was a problem. He decided to tell us Monday that in order for everything to print right, we needed to set the left and right margins to 0.5 inches. So that meant all the shit I printed out was wrong. I left my thumb drive at home thinking I didn't need it so I figured I'd just bring it wednesday and wham! bam! thank you mam! knock it out in ten minutes... didn't happen. Everything I had in my file thingy was modified up to the last thing we had to print, meaning I could not get everything back to the was it was when we started this chapter. So I'm like FUCK!!! The only way to fix the problem would have been to start over from the very beginning of our work with access... meaning getting three weeks of work done in 55 mins. Not happening. Sigh... so I failed that assignment too...

    I have a rant in the works for later tonight so if you want some good laughs at my expense, look forward to it.

    Also... I got my Mic today! Whoot. Now I just need someone to call me on Skype cause I don't know how to use the damn program. Plus I'll be starting my video toutorials narrated by yours truly later today. I don't have my domain name back yet, still shopping for a decent host. But when I do, I hope to make things a little easier for the noobs in learning this stuff since reading and looking a pictures can only do so much.

    And DQY... Nice to hear you are not pregnant :)  
  • It's over!! 2006-11-21 22:00:27 With so many problems that will drop my grade down the tubes... I'm glad I never have to take another English Comp class in college again. Don't get me wrong, I love writing, but at my own pace with my own rules. I hate having constraints like:

    1)Must have more paraphrasing than direct quotes.

    Fuck that. I only paraphrased once with seven direct quotes. She should never have said it looked good when we had our meeting last Friday.

    2) Be sure you have the title of your paper at the top of your text.

    Why? What do you think the goddamned cover page is for!! Why do you need the title twice in as many pages!?

    3) Make sure you have your outline properly formatted

    I. Outlining is for pussies
    A. I Hate It
    1. I Suck At It
    2. Why do we need to
    B. I write better on a whim
    1. Why write an outline AFTER you write the paper
    2. This just sucks.

    4) Photocopy and highlight all borrowed soruces

    Oh shit... I scanned mine on the computer, not photocopied! There goes another five points i bet. And... my highligter highlights in black. Is that okay? It says Sharpie Permanent Markter. I thought that would work too.

    Needless to say... I hate this class. This paper is worth 40% out of 100% with a 60% or lower constituting a failure. Fail this paper... you FAIL!!! Too much stress for my taste. Thank god I can now stress over my Christmas video... to put the ball in or not to put the ball in.... that is the question... 
  • Contemplation... 2006-11-20 19:35:02 Since Operation Introduction is nearing its long awited climax (April 28 it started) I need to get things rolling for my next MEP... But what to do. I narrowed it down to two. The E-Rotic MEP (Need a better name) and the Unofficial DDR Project 5.

    For the E-Rotic MEP, I think the tracks will be as follows (in no order):

    Cat's Eye
    Do It All Night
    Don't Make Me Wet
    Dr. Love
    Ecstasy
    Fred Come to Bed
    Fritz Love My Tits
    Gimme Gimme Gimme
    Help Me Dr. Dick
    I'm Horny
    In the Heat of the Night
    Kiss Me
    Max Don't Have Sex With Your Ex
    Oh la la la
    Oh Nick Please Not So Quick
    Seven Seconds
    Sex on the Beach
    Sex on the Phone
    Temple of Love
    Test My Best
    The Power of Sex (Ending credits, I know that)
    Touch Me
    Turn Me On
    Why

    24 Songs

    I think it's a good list. As for DDR... Holy hell. Well, I think I could mix these guys together:

    6th Mix
    ---------
    Bye Bye Baby Balloon
    Candy
    Follow Me
    Look to the Sky
    Justify my Love
    Max300
    My Sweet Darlin
    Witch Doctor (Giants Toons Version)
    true...(Trance Sunrise Mix)
    www.blondegirl (MOMO Mix

    7th Mix
    ---------
    B4U (B4 Za Beat Mix)
    Burnin' the Floor (Blue Fire Mix)
    Nothing Gonna Stop (Dance Mania Mix)
    Sexy Planet (From Nonstop Megamix)
    Tsugaru
    Tsugaru (Apple Mix)
    Sweet Sweet Love Magic
    More Than I Needed to Know
    Living in America
    Drifting Away

    8th Mix
    -----------

    A (For Extreme)
    Aoi Shoudou (For Extreme)
    Cartoon Heroes (Speedy Mix)
    Drop The Bomb (System SF Mix)
    Irrisistablement
    Jet World
    Love Love Shine
    Maximizer
    Miracle Moon
    Max. (Period)
    Sakura
    sync (Extreme Version)

    32 Songs

    Hmm... still got time. I don't plan on finalizing anything until closer to the summer.

    I'm surprised no one has put in any guesses for who I'm talking about in paragrah 8 (the one after E-Harmony quote) of my mega rant early this morning. But as that old movie said... I'll never tell...

    Peace Out Peoplez!
    Krisqo 
  • All Lucky sevens... Must be my lucky day 2006-11-20 14:05:13 I feel much better after letting that whole book worth of shit out of my mind. Thanks yue for the kind words. It really perked me up on such a dweary day in the burbs of philly.

    To Divine Queen Yeiweh, I'll be leaving you a more detailed op wednesday after school since I have no work on thanksgiving, but I like the video. I actually held on to it.

    And according to Stolen Soul I am "a peacock with a giant ass and a head filled with rocks." All I wanted was some pumpkin pie! :( 
  • Krisqo's Muse of the Day 2006-11-20 01:36:00 There has been something bothering me for the last year. Why don't people like me? I have a small group of friends who only get together these days for one week in June when we pitch in a get an place down the shore in . I've known two of them since second grade and the others all throughout high school. But since starting college last January, I haven't been able to get anyone to really notice me. And it annoys me. What the hell am I doing wrong? Do I present myself inadvertantly as a geek on such a high level that the "cool" people would rather walk past me and not even say hi. My classes are the same. Hell, I closer realtionship with my damn teachers than any member of the student body. I find that a tad awkward.

    I just can't figure it out. So what if I like anime? That makes me no different that a person who has an obsession with some US Tv shows like "The West Wing," "Survivor," or any of these other shows that people set their schedules around. Is it because it is animated? So what about people who watch South Park? That's a "cartoon" as well. God forbid that I'm a video editor. I think that in itself is enough to cause people to put up thier anti-geek shields which I think is a bit extreme but it has happend. No one in my group of firends like anything I do. I even had one yell at me for watching Elfen Lied because she thought it was a porno and no matter how much I tried to explain, she kept going on and on about how all anime is about sex. *sigh* I lost that battle.

    Then comes this. I've never had a real girlfriend and I think it is all this crap that is to blame. Think about it, how many girls would like to go out with a guy who can sit down and explain the intricate workings of digital video and the what not. Then add my taste in music. My god, I can't stand haning out with any of my friends when there is an active radio added to the mix. In those situations I've learned to bring a fucking portable cd player with me with a MP3 CD holding anywhere from 150-200 songs. There are two strikes on me.

    So what knocks me out? I don't know, but I think E Harmony has something to say about that:

    ********
    eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

    We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

    Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.
    ********

    I took that damn personality profile three times and this has bee the result each time. What the fuck? I even went to the point of putting down $100 for a subscription to Yahoo! Personals. Want to know how many hits my profile got in one year... 0! ZERO! NADA!! ZIP! Is my personality so fucking messed up that there is no girl in the world who could be compatable with me? I can safely admit that the girls I've talked to on this site are the only ones outside my band of friends I've interacted with to this extent, and I don't personally know any of you guys. And that is scary. I can admit that I do have a small crush on some individual here, but that is disheartnening; if not pathetic to a creepy degree. Thank god I don't say the same about any anime characters, then I would have to get some professional help again. Hell, I can see it now:

    Okay Mr. Ruhl. What is it that draws you to this animated character?

    Well... she's just what I'm looking for. I've never seen a living person who is on the same wavelength as I am and this character would mesh with how my brain works like salt into water.

    But she is not real. You do understand that?

    I know, but I would give anything to make her flesh and bone.

    Oh my god. The fact I can play a conversation like that in my head is some cause for concerne. But what else can I do? I just want to find my dream girl. Looks don't matter as long as she is in good health. She just needs to be a person who can counteract my tri face, I'm very emotional, zany, and incomprehensable depending on the day and the weather. I know I'm at a major disadvantage since I don't meet the current standards of cute. I know my speech is damaged, but I cannot help that it didn't develope properly while I was growing up. Hell, I'm lucky to be here today if my mom didn't find me in my crib and the hospital wasn't a parking lot away, I could very well be dead or at least suffer from mental retardation from the death of several brain cells as a result of asphyxia. I bet if that never happend my mind would work in a normal manner and I could sound like one of those smooth talking studs you see in the movies. Instead, I have a slight lisp with a severe difficulty pronouncing the "r" sound and my brain has trouble getting my thoughts to my mouth.

    I guess I am a defective human and we all know what happens to defects: I'll be ostracized from the mainstream of civilazation or cast into the garbage or walked past on the road. And it's that thought that makes it difficult to continue living. All this stress in my life does not help any. I pray that all of you who read this never have to go through a damning divorce where my own mother abandoned me and my younger sister with my father after taking everything we had. I cannot imagine any emotion that can accuratly describe the feeling one gets when the person who broght them into the world leaves them with nothing.

    Think about this. You're having a sudden emotional breakdown and you desire to destroy youself in a physical manner. You mother knows so what should she do? Wouldn't she try to comfort you and fight to bring you back to a calmer demenior? Yeah fucking righ. My mom goes and grabs a bottle of random pills from the medicine closet as well as a decent size knife and brings them into my room. She left them on my tv and said, "Just don't make a mess" and walked out. How can she fucking do that. I was about ready to take my life at any second and she goes and adds fucking fuel to the god-damned fucking fire. Thankfully I am too much of a coward with a low threshold of pain to cut myself and I've seen what happens when people OD on pills. The last thing I wanted was to wake up with a tube down my nose delivering that charcol shit that abosorbs the medicine in the stomach before it is taken into the bloodstream. I was stuck in counseling for four years and placed on antidepressents for about five. I still haven't recovered fully.

    I can't help but feel a little envious of JaddziaDax. Her hubby made it back from Iraq in one piece and I'm happy for that. But adding onto the layers of stress in my life is that my younger step brother, who I only met the summer of 2005 and goes by the name Fallen Flip on this site, made the moronic decision to join the Merines(sp) and put down as infantry, meaning he's gonna be on the streets of Iraq where all the fighting takes place. So untill he comes home, I'm stuck worrying about his well being each and every day.

    I didn't think it was possible, but I forget what it feels like to be truly happy. Sure I get some positive satisfaction here and there, but that blissful feeling where you are high on life and you feel like you can fly... yeah, it's gone. I may not seem like it, but I'm a miserable fuck who feels empty on the inside. I think that is why I look out for those small people on this site. I get a little happy when I see their emotions turn from gloom to glee. DivineQueenYeiweh... I'm talking to you. It drives me insane to see you going through all the shit you do on the org. I guess I figure if I can't help myself, I'd rather help those who still have a fighting chance.

    Yep, I'm only 20 years and two months old and I've basically given up on life. I mean, i'm stuck in a dead end job, I have to drop out of school so I can aquire more money because I'm forced to move out before July 2008 and I only make 450 a month when I'm in school and only 900-1000 a month when I work 6 days a week at eight to nine hours a day. I'm shit out of luck. This is my only escape and it too is getting a little too drama filled for my taste.

    Before I get any responses begging me to stay, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. I have a lot of unfinished business. I will make it to the 10% vidoes without using any fancy effects and that other shit. I will see DQY make a high quality and beautifully editied video. I will see a new wave of expert editors enter the community. I love this place and I love all the people I've gotten to know. It it the place I can go and be a serious or as goofy as I want.

    I think that is enought of a rant. I actually feel a little better now. So with that, goodnight ORG. Thank you for putting up with my rambling. If I had a girlfriend I would throw this all at her. God I just want to be loved. Oh well, I guess I'm not meant to be loved. And I'm fine with that if it is what God has willed for me.

    I will see you all tomorrow

    Krisqo 
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