- Sadness isn't as easy as we think. 2003-07-28 09:23:13 Well people, here we are a monday morning, I was late again. Man I am looking at the chopping block. What's worse, feelings from a long time agao came rushing back today and I thought of a woman I hadn't thought of in about two years. At one point she was my everything, and then we feel out but I was never ever to shake the pain I felt for losing her and for causing her to leave. And now I am here, crying, inside and out as I watch this Amv....Kenshin Oav....Can't Live without you...(thnaks cronos)....I relate to this to much.....to damn much, and the pain just won't go away.....she'll never no how I feel.....but i guess it's better than someone no....I wrote her a letter today....I wonder if she'll read it.....I wonder if she'l laugh.....maybe....I don't know....I am so alone right now....I have so many people in my life but thinking back to her, and what I lost....her.....our family....our friends.....I feel so lonely.....and now I am here stuck, once more thinking of my own mortality.....thinking of what happens when I die....trying to figure out when will I die.....and for a moment...I brief, for the most part, yet long lasting moment.....your mind, body, and soul finally realize without doubt.....one day you are going to die, and there is nothing you can say or do to stop it.....mortality.....a real bitch.....no more anime....no more games.....no more fun.....no more pain.....no nothing...and i began to feel all of this again.....thinking about her.....Leanna.....heh....it had been so long.....and I forgot so many things about her......but I still remember that and how she looks....funny really......feels like......everyday....i'm dying......from heartache.....a broken heart of sorts....yea....life....and mortality.....a real bitch.
- Yea for me! 2003-07-23 09:37:19 Finally after searching, and seeing are you anime hoarding goons and your sweet sweet videos contain naruto and Ruruoni Kenshin oav's 3 and 4. BUt now I have found them! HAHAHA! sadly enough....I know that I will only be able to get volume three of naruto for the time bein g, but if I hold out I can make it to otakon (anime convention in baltimore. They made a parody film about it. My city rules) and hopefully I will find the other volumes. Not only that but I will also be obataining the second oav dvd. How do you like that. And just so you know...I have also seen Angelic Layer, Excel Saga, Azumanga Daioh, and the get backers!....AHAHA! I win.....((::thinks:: man I am so pathetic. If anyone can hear me....help me please....I have to get away from him! Help me!))
- I keep hearing that damn song! 2003-07-22 11:55:35 There is someone out there who made a video under the name marduk productions and the name of the video is to have loved and lost. Now there are two songs on the video. One by a group called conjure one and the song is called tears from the moon remix. The second and the most haunting is a song by a guy or a group called artful dodger and the song is think about me. Now I have spent the last two days calling around and lookin around for this song. None of the stores have heard of the group and none of the sites have the song for download, or even whatever album it came on! Please if any of you have an else of dignity you will help me some how, especially you at marduk productions. this is all your fault...oh one more thing....that was one kick ass video! You rock...I just wish I could get my comp fixed so I could put my damn videos on the site....that reminds me....keep your eyes out for Onni Chan productions and Shooting stars films (super plug)
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Why won't they shut up!
2003-07-10 13:06:24
Why won't people shut up! I mean is it that they just have to talk to survive or somehting? Especially women. They sit there like they are important and they continue to run there mouths over and over and over about absolutely nothing at all. They sit around and talk about people and the things that people do but in the end they are nothing but the people they talk about hideen a bit better. Some of them can't even pull that off! This little sluts walkin around with two and three children having the nerve and audacity to talk about someones childrens. You know somehting. Has anyone seen that spike lee movie 25th hour. When the guy begins to rant violently? About f* this and f* that. Well that is how I feel. I would rant like that now but I don't think that this journal is such an appropriate places for such language and thoughts. You know somehting though....I don't wish they would die....they aren't important enough for that...I save that for the people that exactually matyter enough for me to hate them but I just wish that they would not exist. Not live, not die....no heaven no hell no nothing...Just stop existsing all together. I would be so much happier if that is somehting that I could make a reality. They type of malice and malcontent that I feel for the majority of the people that i am forced to be around on a daily basis is just appauling. SOmetimes I think that I could get angry enough one day and come to work with a gun and just start poppin of people left and right. I could just sit back and watch them drop of like flies in a freezer and enjoy every moment of it. I have even sat down and wrote stories and poems about the thoughts I could have with a gun in my hand and the entire staff blind folded and and facing me and my firing squad. I bety that would be some treat. You know, I never thought it was possible to hate people as much as I do but I see now that I was truly mistaken. The fact that the people that I despise still breath on a day to day basis is enough of an annoyance to shake me to my soul.
Tell me something....does anyone think that I am wrong about the way I feel? Should I see a shrink, or should I just take a day off and get away from these insignificant bugs? I guess I will probably just take a vacation. It is cheaper, less bloodier, and just all around the best thing to do. Later people and don't worry I won't start killin folks, I don't even have a gun and I can't own one either. No old enough. Ha. I guess my ammo of choice will have to be dreaded H2O huh. - I have been amazed and stupified 2003-07-10 11:19:25 I am sending out an apb for the creator of the Sasuke Fallen video made from the anime Naruto. First I would like to tip my hat to you. This video was a fine peace of work. I to am an amv creator but because of circumstances I have not been able to submit my own. Perhaps some of you may have seen my videos or my partners. They were down under the names Akira Fudo And Ranma Soatome of Onni Chan Productions, and Shooting Star films to name a few. That is all beside the point though. The point I am makin is this. I have to get my hands on the anime by any means necessary and I have got to know. If you could help me get this anime I would be forever grateful and you would be in a position to name your price (provided that it's not totally ridicoulous). Well I must go now. The beautiful sound of tideous repition is call. Work is wonderful is it not?
JOURNAL: Akira2017 (Alucard Jones (trying to make this legal))
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