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Niffty News Now New
2002-07-09 16:40:21
*sigh* I didn't get to talk to my girl at all today. I'm guessing she's still mad at me. Well, all relationships aren't without their ups and downs I guess. Still I feel bad about what I said. I mean a boyfriend is supposed to support her, not drive her to madness just because he's popular. I'm sorry I ever did that, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it goes. She's obviously not going on today to talk to me and that's fine. Although, (like every tuesday) I suppose that's good since I'm in a very scarastic and bitter mood. Our "fight" yesterday ended abrupty when she said she had to go and I just left without another word. Ah well. She has every right to be angry. Sometimes it's better not to mention things about your past and what you used to do when hanging with the guys.
NIFFTY NEWS
Friday I have a room mate for sure. My room mate for the upcoming year is moving stuff in so that he doesn't have to travel as far and also so when we drink he has a comfortable place to stay. Lots of stuff to get out of the way for him thursday night.
PUDDING
I have sooo much pudding in my fridge, I suppose I should start eating it.....ugg. -
Weee, niffty reunion. Writers Block Dissolved!
2002-07-07 20:58:57
Yes, I know all my titles sound like anime episodes, but that's because I love the way they sound. Family reunion happened today. Not too shabby, I'd say about 30 people showed up, that's pretty good. Stuffed myself on food again today. Man, I sometimes wonder if I'm not related to Lina Inverse. Anyway, that'll probably be the last good meal I eat for a while. I've got four bucks to last me from today to thursday (payday, YAY!). I wonder what I'll be doing for the next few days.
My writers block dissolved today about my video. The apathy remains but that'll probaby go in a bit. I'm happy to say that one of my other buds on AMV and I are now trading Fansubs to each other over ftp. If anyone else wants in and can contribute that'd be great. Between him and we we've got 19 Full Series of anime and quite a few random episodes.
I'M TRYING TO FIND RANMA 1/2 EPS. If anyone has them please message me on aim. I'm willing to trade everything but my first born son for it! I don't even know what the first episode is but I want them all. I don't care how many there are I'm looking for them and if anyone can refer me to it, all the better. (AIM is QuakeRising)
I've now started to look for anime newsgroups as well. Any suggestions on what servers have the best or where to begin my search is much appreciated. Other than that, I can't say much. Family is so busy and crazy, glad I'm related, but even happier I don't live with them. -
eternity in thee simple words
2002-07-06 01:10:34
Well, it happened....we were standing out in the moonlight, looking at the stars and she said it. Where to begin? Start at the beginning they always say...so where did it begin? Maybe when my friend introduced me to his girlfriend at the time. This really wasn't anything new, I mean he had a new one at least once a month...or at least an interest. At the time, all my "friends" were trying to do what was best and hook me up with someone. I had no interest in any of the girls that were suggest...not that I didn't go on dates with them. I always give girls the chance, but too many were nuts and quite a few turned out to be stalkers, but I digress. Anyway, he introduced me to his girfriend of the moment, Kelly. One of the first things I noticed about her was her blue eyes. This girl was an angel to me. I had seen her around the dorm earlier in the past few months as she and one of my other friends had looked like they were going to hook ub, but nothing came of that because she wanted commitment and he was too free-spirited. Well, it looked like she had finally hooked up with one of the other guys from my dorm. I mean this girl had everything, a nice body, some brains, a sense of humor, a good cuteness factor and an open mind while still having good morals. Needless to say, I had a crush on her from long ago. Seeing her with this guy always put me in a bad mood, because I knew how it would end and I knew what he was after was just some oral gratification. I wanted to tell her so bad, but I knew that she'd never believe me. Well, eventually she caught on to what this guy wanted and dumped his ass (I was really happy to see that she also had enough self-confidence/respect to do this). I talked to her everynow and then after that, nothing too big. I figured she'd had enough bad experiences to not be interested in guys for a while. Well, within the next few months, this perfect girl ended up going out with me shopping and to the movies once or twice. One thing led to another (honestly, I wasn't even trying that much, I just thought she'd like to have a guy friend to chill with) and by the end of the year we were pretty much a couple. I loved it, and fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I let my guard down. I once swore that I'd never trust someone I date for at least 6 months. I've found out three times now that girls I've kissed/gone on dates with actually had boyfriends and were just looking for other "options."
I didn't stand a chance with kelly. She had this look, the way she carried herself, the way she talked, even the way she just smiled as she was thinking absent-mindedly about something. i never stood a chance of defending against her. I'll admit it, when I look at her I sigh, when I kiss her my heart quickens, hell, just having her around makes me happier than I've been in a long time. Our two month is coming up she tells me and I still can't believe it. When I look back, it seems that we've been going steady (we were actually going steady by the third date, hey, I'm not afraid of commitment) for a lot shorter time...and yet the way she sometimes can look at me and we can hold a conversation without ever speaking and how comfortable we are around each other makes me feel that we've been dating for years.
When she was going home tonight, I walked her to her car as I always did. We stood there for a while, just looking at the stars and she made a comment about how many there were out there. I instantly replied that I felt very lucky to have found the one place out of all the stars that she was on and to be with her was the most I could wish for. She took my hand and placed it on her chest and I could feel her heart beating very fast. That look in her eyes had my breath caught and I could feel her heart pounding aways. It was a very long pause then she said something. I wanted to stop her, to tell her that I knew, but I was frozen in place. For that one moment, all time was frozen to me. There was no sound, I could see her lips move, I could see her eyes so clearly. For the first time since I'd met her, they were completely bare of all defenses. She had opened her soul to me and the purity I saw there made me fell heavy with the weight of my own past. She was always beautiful before, but in this one moment I felt that she really wasn't of this earth. That such a thing could not exist in this dreary world. The words echoed though my head as time continued I was still left in that one moment.
"I love you"
Such words. How long had I waited? A month? a week? The way she said them, something I had never been given. A truth that had never been revealed. She loves me... This wasn't said on a whim, like my first. It wasn't said because it should be said for the situation, like my second. She, my third (and final), had said it after thinking for so long. She put every part of herself into these words, and this is the first time she ever said them. Inside, I felt a part of me wake. This part had been sleeping for over two years. It wept in joy, shivered in happiness. I wanted to tell her how I've waited, not just a month, not two, but perhaps my whole life, being who I am, to meet her to hear her say those three simple words. I wanted to tell her how I felt, how much I wanted to just fall to my knees and kiss her hand, holding it to my cheek. Even if I lost all ability to think, even if I forget my own name, I will treasure this one memory of her saying those three words. My reason, my existance, my very self, was created for her. She's not God, but she is more a part of me than my own arm. A soul mate. Someone who I'll never find in a million years, but we beat the odds.
All this I wanted to say, but not a word of it passed my lips. The only thing I could do was say "I love you too." How inadaquit I feel, saying such a thing. She is so much more than me, someone who deserves so much more. Yet, she chose me of all the other guys in the world, she chose me to give a gift to more valuable than any gem. More rare than any metal. An emotion, a promise, a feeling that very few people can even find after childhood. I love you, Kelly. I love you too.... - What the hell 2002-07-01 13:18:14 Ok, I want to know what sick gypsy I pissed off so bad that they had to curse me? I mean I'd understand a curse that ruins my life or something that makes me change into a werewolf or something, but what the hell did I do that made them want to annoy me so badly? Did I tip too cheaply in a bad restaurant to the wrong waitress? Did I cut them off on a road while driving once? WHAT DID I DO??!! Look, I'm sorry, okay? Can't you just leave me alone?!
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Thank you Cupid!!
2002-06-25 19:28:54
Woo hoo! I just found out that the girl that liked me from before has found a new boy. I was worried at first because she was moving into my dorm and I thought that she'd be hitting on me all the time. Fortunately my next door neighbor and she got together for lunch today and it ended up that they were kissing each other goodbye. That's awesome.
*sigh* I shouldn't pine over my girlfriend, but when I hear people talking about that how can I not think or miss her. On the other hand it's a good thing that everything turned out as it did, since it looks like this girl may be spending the night in my spare bed in my room.
How you might ask? Why by the wonderful planning of the Hiram College resident life planning board. No, she's not my room mate! That would be totally out of wack, however they forgot to inform her room mate or even give her the proper keys to get into her room. So until she either finds her room mate (who doesn't appear to be in at all), I'm going to be spending lots of time hearing about how great my neighbor is at kissing and how much she misses him because he's not here right now. I'm thinking she might just leave her stuff here and end up spending the night in his room. I'm sorry honey! Don't be upset, it's just that I really can't let any of my friends be screwed over from Res life. Besides she might be out by tonight....either way she'll be gone by tomorrow for sure.
JOURNAL: Rising_Shadow
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