JOURNAL: chutsupsei (ayu mai)

previous page next page
  • The meaning of Peace and Love 2003-06-27 20:19:27 I'm feeling.. as though Ro is avoiding me..

    I don't know why I would feel such things.. or maybe he thinks I am avoiding him?...

    maybe I shouldn't worry about such things.. I should be happy if he is. For.. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay he's finally realized how much he should accept that I'd do something crazy regardless of his words or his.. ai.. 
  • Boys and girls (orignal mix)-Ayumi Hamasaki 2003-06-27 10:50:47 la la la la la la

    *doing a lil dance*

    *teh ayu-pann dance ov course gah*

    *mouthing to Ayumi vocals*

    *deciding to become ayu pann by not changing expression.. doing scary
    scary scary smile :D*

    Nnjsword did parody thing again.. but meh.. so what if ro likes me.. and wants to be with me and all that..

    I'm sure its only a matter of time till he realizes he has nothing to love about me and will move on. Maybe we'll end up friends.. I dunno.. 
  • Beloved 2003-06-26 23:17:53 Be With You
    That I could meet you...
    And mixed-up happiness
    Before my eyes is the bound line
    The future seems to be near but an endlessly far
    Happiness is, perhaps, unintentional
    Satisfied, time hides its face
    Neither being able to afford to look back
    Nor turning to peace of mind
    Longing for the strength to live out
    Let me stay here a little more
    When I was nearly buried in the throng
    'Cause some dreams got blurred
    And I could not convey my timid heart-pounding
    That I could meet you...
    Things we can believe
    Touched by each of them
    On the unobstructed way leading to you
    Now I hope to send you my love in bundles
    When I feel the joy of loving you
    And the sparkle of life, like wrapping the pain
    Thinking tenderly of the frailty
    That nobody can live out his life all by himself
    Lovingly, I held that hand
    On the days when things don't go as I hope
    I find myself losing a tender heart
    Yes, it's still on the half way of my dream
    Saying to myself so, I got to sleep
    If we begin to doubt
    There'll be no bounds
    So from sometime hard to speak our minds
    We came to keep silent
    How far should we go?
    Just in the forest of illusion...
    Just keep runnning there
    Still I have things that I can't budge
    On those who hate the never-healed times
    Without saying a word, ah....
    Beyond the sinking sun
    I wanna guard you forever
    'Cause the blue of memories
    I can't hold back my tears
    That I could meet you...
    The mixed-up happiness
    From now on, only you and me
    With heart to heart each other
    On the unobstructed way leading to you
    Bundling the loves now...
    And I wanna be your love
     
  • ningyo hime (without rie) 2003-06-26 22:24:12 I miss not caring about the physical. I miss not caring about how I look. I miss being carefree.. I miss those days where I did what I was told to. I miss those days where I was the perfect daughter. I miss those days where I never even thought about love and ambition always came first. I miss those days where friendship was but a tool to gain people that would only help me to reach my goals.

    I didn't value people as people before. I didn't care about them as friends. Though when I did.. I was clinging to Melanie as my only friend. It became a lonely existence when everything backfired. But I never knew friendship.

    I never knew love either. I still don't.

    sometimes.. I wonder why people still don't understand me.. I need to be ordered around.. I can't stand having too much freedom..

    I abuse it..

    SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME TO LOVE RO!! ..... I tired of him saying I don't have to.. like its really alrite if I don't.. I tired of beng so free.. someone resttrict me.. someone set up rules.. someone force me to awaken feeling something.

    Because I feel empty not having to be ordered around.. I hate freedom.. >.< 
  • Vector 2003-06-25 22:30:55 It's hard always pretending to be happy to others.. even tho I'm online.. It's strange that I only let Ro know that I'm crying and not doing too well.. but then again I don't think he realized I was crying..

    heh i'm always so horrible at making decisions.. always so indecisive. I'm sorry Clem, I just.. can't go anywhere feeling like this.. an empty hallow feeling.. I don't want to think of myself and do stuff for others.. goin to see a movie to enjoy ur last days can be one of em but hey.. I can't do that.. it feels too icky thinking about being happy.

    I like being sad. I like being deep within me.. I like sleeping within this dream... this dream.. that is reality..

    deep dive...

    dive to heart..

    I love those words...

    I'm so tired.. I feel like falling.. maybe I'll go into geo mode....


    did u know that the world is expanding into a global village online as information call be passed on in mere seconds from place to place and througth this global village we are able to...

    oh dammit geo stuck in braaain dyinggg aieeeeeeee 
previous page next page
Current server time: Nov 11, 2025 07:38:32