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Life is okay
2004-02-11 16:20:01
Well Life is good, my health is not. The side effects of this dilantin for my epilipsy is like hellish.. Makes me all groggy and uncomfortable like. I'll be okay it just takes like 2 weeks for you to get used to the side effects. :/ i had another siezure.. So she increased the dosage of it also. Sigh. I wish I just felt better.. Ive done so much, been through so much and I cant ever seem to feel better.. Who cares if im skinny, who cares if I wont get diabetes, or have a heart attack from being obese.. Where is my life.. Where is MY LIFE :/
Kim my best friend is like, You look so great, you have come so far dont give up now... I wont give up.. I just hate medicines, and seizures and i hate food.. Makes me uncomfortable too... If anyone out there reads this.. And is considering gastric bypass surgery to beat your obesity.. EMAIL me, i will give you a honest, down to earth opinion of what this surgery has done to me... There are pro's and Cons.. Sure I wear a Xtra Small now, Sure Im 120lbs, sure Im healthier in the aspect that i wont die from diabetes or a heart attack from being overweight.. I dont have to be so self conscious when im out in public, people dont stare at me anymore for being fat.. But you know what.. I would love to sit down and eat food without being uncomfortable, I would love to do alot of things, that this surgery restricts me from doing... Sure I had a tummy tuck, Sure I wear smaller clothes but you know what, Im still a fat person, in a little persons body, I dont think you ever ever stop being fat mentally.. Thats just a word from me. I look at my ass.. its huge.. I look at my hips they are huge.. I still see 300lbs worth of tutter when i look in the mirror sometimes.. and im not anorexic or anything like that, its just Ive been overweight for 25 years up until 2002 and 25 years of body image issues dont dissolve even if you lose weight, and even if you are normal, and WTF is normal anyhow.. Im venting.. My health is such sad shape right now.. I had to get it out.. I gotta clean my house or something.. I need to release some pent up anger.. I need to break stuff
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OOPS
2004-02-09 22:06:37
"Im just NOT gonna be overly public about any relations I am having "
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Sigh
2004-02-09 22:04:14
You know it seems sickness tends to follow I went to the dr today.. Seems as though, I have epilepsy.. I had a seizure on friday night.. So I have been started on a medication called Dilantin to prevent more seizures
, and going to see a neurologist and have a catscan... My life is slowly coming back together even with all the badnews on the health end.. Its not that I can't deal with it.. Its just I dont want to have a seizure infront of my friends and family and scare them.. or worse have one while im alone with the baby and something bad happens.. Those things scare me, losing my license scares me.. But other then that I am pretty much doing well..
Im keeping my personal life.. Just that.. Personal.. it just seems easier that way for me right now.. If you wanna know something ask me... Im just gonna be overly public about any relations I am having because its really not anyones business but mine and who my personal life involves, which right now is.... NOYFB :) <wink>
Anyhow Life is good.. My family is good.. My best friend is good.. My love life is GREAT.. and thats about as far as I go!
BYE BYE BYE
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Back to Me :)
2004-02-06 17:07:28
Hi Khayo! Miss you muchers and sorry about the whole girl thing.. HUGS..
hope things turn out better for you... Love has its up and downs... and downs and downs and then occasionally it gives you this up... thats wondermous.. It just takes time, and time is not a kind thing :/
As for me... Im working on a video.. wowsers.. Yeah sentimental girly drama crap... whats new huh.. but im getting motivated none the less... So knowing me, it will be ready by the time JACON rolls around, JACON hmmm.. yeah.. fun stuff... A con on home turf.. and I dont have to travel, thats always a plus..
Anyhow, thats about it for me... Living life, taking care of kids, working on a amv.. Tutter is back in full force...
The funniest thing happened to me in chat the other day.. And this is my own mindless ramblings, but someone made a comment about..
"Yeah its almost as fun as being raped by MJ"
So I bust out with Ive been raped by MJ and it aint that bad..
But see this person was talking about Micheal Jackson.. and i only figured it out, when they said something about neverland ranch.. i was like oh my.. IM SUCH A PERVERT. and i quietly exited the chatroom.. hehe
anyhow. im outtie..
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Shaved Ice
2004-02-04 16:47:15
I love Shaved Ice.. That stuff is so good.. It takes me back of memories of being a little kid and eating snow, when I lived in connecticut...
So I have this spiffy Shaved Ice Machine.. and it makes the ice so fine its like snow.. so i eat it constantly.. big huge spoonfuls of shaved ice... Its like a damn fine piece of joygasm cake or something.. I guess I am going to start on a new AMV sometime in the next week.. Yep coming from me, its probably going to be something ridiculously sappy and lovish. but thats how I get my feelings out..
I started watching the super gals DVD's I have and its very cute.. hehehe I like it, I could do something rather funny with it.. if I just ever get the knack of motivation.. Motivation is a big killer.. I need a nice big Motivation machine, that dishes out motivation in spoonfuls that would rock so much.. but anyhow im off to take on the Evil Bad Guys and Save the world!
<flex muscles>
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JOURNAL: tutterbutter (Brandy TutterButter)
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