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2010-03-15 01:00:06
@Code that sucks bro lol
@TC that hella sucks bro lol -
your latest FFXIII journal spam
2010-03-11 03:17:03
I broke this up, so you wouldn't wall of text quit on me
also, for the discerning individuals, MASTURBATION JOKE AT THE END kinda
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So you walk into a Boss Room, and your six dudes are there, talking about how “You can’t do this to us!” “Let’s get him!” “Yeah, let’s do it!” And then the fight starts: and you’re just the three dudes you had picked previously on the menu.
Then the battle ends, and there’s all six characters, some of them wounded, others just winded. “We did it!” Uh, okay. What were the other three characters doing during the fight? Were they fighting some other boss that the artists didn’t care to draw? (They were probably off in the corner smoking a bowl and talking about what it’d be like to get a blow job in space.)
Important: as you inch an enemy’s break meter up to full, a large numeral with a percentage sign on the end of it goes up. This is what you paid for: it usually starts at 100%, meaning that your attacks are doing 100% damage. 100% of what? Why, “100% of the normal“.
As you push an enemy to break, the number goes up, and so does the amount of damage you’re dealing. Usually this means either precisely jack or approximately shit, though once you get close enough to the red line, you can possibly be doing like 300% damage, which isn’t anything to sneeze at. This is when you go “Hmmm”, and wonder if the game is ever going to introduce enemies that you don’t want to push all the way to break, so you lay off on the Blasting and switch to only Attacking. Spoiler: yes.
This was only natural, of course: jerking off for the first time was probably the closest any of the jiggly-puffs developing Final Fantasy XIII came to feeling Real Danger in their entire lives, so the memory of that time when one realizes one can make the stroking good times last a whole lot longer is permanently slotted into the “Real World Experience” blank in the spreadsheet of the mind.
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I will post more if you don't stop fawning over this game. It's nothing special. No, I haven't played it. What, you're bringing it over now? Yeah sure I'll play it. What, you want me to keep it? I don't want people to see me owning this. Go away!
/fishslap
FUCK THAT, I'm gonna post a better excerpt, he's talking about after you've broken an enemy
READ IT, IT'S IN BOLD MOTHERFUCKERS
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Maybe the first attack dealt on the typical enemy sends that enemy flying literally a hundred feet into the air. That’s the height of a decent condo building. Just like that, there he is, way up there in the sky. We hope you’re reading this part very carefully, because this is the most important part of the entire review, and the only part we actually thought about for more than seven seconds beforehand: All of your guys jump up into the air. They just rocket up there without a sound, a grunt, or a graphical effect. It’s like they’re in ballet class and the instructor is like “Now turn, and twirl, and jump a hundred feet in the air” and they’re like “Oh okay”. The story doesn’t explain this. We don’t really need the story to explain this, really, though when the cookie-cutter strategy for winning any given battle revolves around getting an enemy into the air, and when the only thing you ever do in the game aside from fighting (lots (and lots)) of monsters is walk for several hours at a time in a straight line, you start to feel the opposite of the “Whoa Cool Cut-scenes” sickness, you know, where you see Raiden in Metal Gear Solid 4 river-dance-duelling a gay vampire and go, “Man, they should make a video game about this!” In Final Fantasy XIII, it’s more like, if your guys can do that, and so effortlessly, and all the time, why can’t we just fly over all this boring terrain at a terrifying speed until we ram headfirst into the final boss?
It’s far more than that, though. It looks fucking ridiculous. Your three guys don’t just rocket off the ground without a sound: they rocket up and then proceed to perch in mid-air as though they’re still standing on solid terrain. They swing their weapons until the attacks they’ve selected have been expunged. Then, with the same grace they used to float instantly up, they flutter at sound-speed right back to the earth. Once their ATB bars charge again precious seconds later, they flit right back up into the sky. It looks weird, to say the least.
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YOUR GAME LOOKS WEIRD TO SOME GUY ON THE INTERNET!
Take that!
I sure showed you.
No wait, don't cry.
Wait, no cry, just hold it until I can find a vial. VIRGIN TEARS ARE MUCH MORE POTENT! *kekekekekekekekekekeke*
Wait, what?
Who was that.
*head turns around backwards* GET OUT OF MY BODDYYYY.
(more like get out of my Bobby, mirite?)
lololololololol
/srsface
OMG it's late.
OMG I have to work tomorrow.
OMG I have to edit something Tuesday.
OMG I have to learn how to edit again before then.
OMG there is a con this weekend.
OMG it's double exp in Aion this weekend.
OMG it's late.
I'm going to bed now.
Seriously I hope you're happy.
Seriously I hope the next FF game is praise worthy by strangers on the internet.
Seriously.
Seriously guys.
Seriously.
Ok, going to bed.
Ok bye.
Ok why are you still sitting there.
Oh ok. Right.
Anime. (on topic) -
I know you're all elitist, purist, subs4life anime enthusiasts but...
2010-03-10 04:05:39
can anyone tell me if this was ever used as adult swim bumper music?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIoDdH4q6Yg
I can't tell if I know it from that, or from samurai champloo
(probably both, but if both, I'm crediting adult swim) -
Why I'm not buying FFXIII
2010-03-09 18:11:30
I respect this man's opinion.
http://www.actionbutton.net/?p=630
Short version:
http://www.actionbutton.net/?p=631
All that said, if the game mysteriously fell into my lap, I would probably give it a spin. -
I don't search for stuff.
2010-02-26 11:49:59
I let other people tell me about stuff.
So while I can't claim to have found it,
I did recently gain an appreciation for a new remix site.
I'll link you if it pans out.
...now if only I made AMVs.
JOURNAL: meleechampion (Bubby )
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