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A Weekend of Loving The World
2008-01-19 18:11:59
Well, so far my new attitude towards people has been quite sucessful. I'm actually happy not having to do stuff I don't want to do (but that isn't required of me).
Things are also going better with my parents. I finally just told my mother to try and accept the fact that I have mostly democratic beliefs. I also told her that I'm not an equalivilent die-hard Christian as she would like me to be. I told her just to try and accept that for another 4 months, and then I would be out of her life if she couldn't. She seems better now.
*thanks Radical Yue for the support*
School is MUCH better. I'm enjoying my newfound free time to invest in my other hobbies. For one, as soon as wurpess's segment finished downloading, Ima gonna get Clow's Collection finally off my computer and into the internet world. Le Gasp! I know! I couldn't beleive it either.
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My AMV Hobby Has Been Reborn!
With my new free time that I have, I can finally edit more than usual. I've started on part two of tragedies. I expect to have it out by either late February or early march. ^_^
Source Footage: Furuba
Audio Footage: Tis a surprise :O
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Finding What I like...
I've been deeply engulfed in my college major choices. I'm trying to find what I like, and what I myself like, not what other think I should like. But I'm not as worried now. I'll roll with the punches. ^_^
*thanks slackergirl for smacking me upside the head :O*
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Today Is The Beginning of a New Dawn
2008-01-17 10:33:58
Today I did something I think that I have never done before. I actually have finally stood up for myself and for my own desires. For once, I don't care what other people want me to feel like. For once, I have become my own person with my own feelings and opinions.
Let me explain a little more in detail...
I suffer from a mild case of co-dependency. In other words, I have need for the approval of others, and for them to accept me. It's not clinically proven, I just kind of read up on the symptoms and think that it explains me pretty well. Like I said, it's just mild, and I can handle it most of the time.
However...
My entire life has been devoted to what others want me to do. I do what they say and I don't question why they say. That was the way I used to be. Even on this site, to a certain extent. X_X
But about two weeks ago, I realized that doing that was dangerous. We were talking about politics, and I said that I believed that Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or Ron Paul would be good choices. You ready about what happened in a previous journal entry, so I won't got back into details.
Needless to say, after that I went into a little bit of a psychotic period. I had no clue why my parents would do such a thing to me. I mean... I had done everything they had ever asked of me for 18 years. I broke up with girlfriends, ended friendships, and even ban certain literature from my household. Why, then, would they react in such a way when I said "no".
Then, I have been taking a look back on my life. I've realized that I am miserable person, and that I have never been happy. I have let too much of my life be controlled by others.
Thus, today, I made a vow. I would try and strip myself of co-dependence. I'm trying not to let people control me.
So far, it's working.
My extra-curricular advisor came and asked me if I was going to the conference in February. I personally did not want to go. I have gone for 3 years, and done all the work while I was there. It's not fun by any means. Therefore, I told her no. I wasn't going.
She was furious. She was upset.
And I was happy. ^_^
I still am happy. I feel great. I know that for once I'm doing something I love.
As for my future! I'm still uncertain. I'm just now getting to realize what I love and how to utilize it. How to become a better person in such a short existance.
Since we're all heading for an eventual death, I might as well enjoy life as I can.
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Chikaboom: Good luck with math! Remember! When In doubt use the quadratic equation. O_O!
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Le Gasp! O_O
2008-01-16 21:55:23
Bleck. More headaches.
Today, I was on emo deathcon 4. X_X
Can't wait till school is out.
I have nothing better to write about at the moment. X_X -
BLECK! THE DAY OF HELL! PART I-VI
2008-01-14 20:25:48
@Niotex: Whoh... O_o
@Kiki: Doing crappy AP chemistry homework with some tasty Pre-Calculus imaginary number logrithmic equations. X_X
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School was really bad today. I had a headache from the time I woke up until now, with it continuing with worse and worse pain coming and going. Medicine hasn't done jack. X_X GAH! THE PAIN!
Not to mention that mah Ipod is dying. :_( It won't keep a charge anymore! So, I'm going to buy a new cord and hope that fixes it. If not, I'm back to my shitty CD player. X_X NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I finished my FBLA video finally. It turned out really well,and i'm expecting a first place victory! *evil laugh*
I have finished my video. I'm uploading it tomorrow. ^_^
Bleck. I need to go to sleep, but I'm wide awake. X_X
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I'm feeling a tad upset right now too. I'm having major issues with my family and parents, as well as with my future. I'm getting really frustrated not knowing what I want to do. I've never (AND I MEAN NEVER) gotten to make such a large decision in my life.
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Curses Self....
2008-01-13 22:02:32
My computer is a mess with files everywhere. i'm thinking about just wipiing the entire thing and re-installing the OS. Eck. Too messy for that. I got too much to do. X_X
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*still has no idea of what to major in college*
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*ofically is ready for school to be over*
JOURNAL: CodeZTM (Zackary )
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