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The rabbits are huge in my neighborhood
2003-04-04 14:40:15
I swear to you that I see a rabbit every day when I come home from work. I do live in the middle of nowhere and there are some big forest around our house, but it´s a bit too much to see a rabbit every freaking day. O.o I wonder if it´s the same rabbit every time. Maybe it´s following me around. Last fall there was this crow that tried to get into my room by knocking my windows with it´s beak. That was a bit scary. If you´ve seen Hitchcocks (spelling?) movie with the birds, you know what I´m talking about. I´m not afraid of the rabbit/s... does that sound funny to you people?
The topic is only for fun. It has absolutely nothing to do with what I´m going to write about (well besides the beginning). I´m having trouble concentrating on anything else besides the rabbit. Today it was on the corner of our house and it run away when it noticed me. *_* I´m scary!
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Enough of the rabbit. *talking with my brother* I told him about the rabbit and he said that he´s seen it too. He just said that when the rabbit comes knocking my window... Oh man I´m going to have nightmares about this. Lol
I just came back from visiting my fried in her new apartment. It was a nice and spacey one room flat. The bathroom was tiny. The windows brought back a lot of memories from my childhood and you could sit by them and watch the city. We had a lot to talk about since it´s been a while since we last saw each other. We both have new jobs now and a lot of other things have happened. She seemed really happy to finally be living on her own.
I left her there to paint. She was painting this man with blue skin. It looked like Mr. Spoc (spelling again) with elf ears. She also photographs a lot. I´ve done quite a pit of modeling for her so I have some really artistic pictures taken of me. Most are black and white. I don´t have a scanner so you´re not getting any and besides I still don´t want my pictures in the internet.
One other of my friends also called me to say that her brothers wife is having her baby. My friends going to be an aunt soon (I almost spelled it ant. It´s good to have online dictionaries. lol). =) I hope everything goes well with the delivery.
Since I already started I´ll tell y´all what´s going on with my other girl friends lives. Few are studying in college. One is working and partying like she usually does. It´s hard to keep track where she´s working because she changes her job every other month.
One of my friends is living with her boyfriend, who apparently does drugs and is a bit mentally unstable. She is the sweetest girl ever and I don´t know anybody with more compassion for other people. I´m worried about her.
These are the friends that I met in high school or earlier. I haven´t been in touch so much with the ones that I had before that. One of them is studying in polytechnic (I can´t believe that the dictionary knew that word Ö.Ö). I´ve run into one of their mom and she told me that my friend is in a mental hospital. =/ That was about a year ago so I don´t know how she´s doing now. I hope that she´s feeling better.
Makes me think that my things aren´t half as bad as I would think they are.
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I´m feeling tired already so I´ll make a quick rerun of my last few weeks. I promised not to log in the org until after the whole applying for studying thing was over. Well I kept my promise *pats self on back*. All though I found a loop hole in my master plan: it said nothing about the forums. So I logged to the forum like every day. Now my post count is something like 5 posts! Woohoo *in ironic voice* .
I wrote a forum topic to the General music forum last Sunday. It´s long so beware. I think I´ll post it today if I can just upload my avatar to my ftp site. [UPDATE: There seems to be some trouble in signing in to the site so I can´t upload it. : ( ] Yup you heard right, I finally have an avatar after two months of hard work. Lol Actually I just got my hands on Photoshop and made the damn thing in few hours. It still needs a lot of work. I´m going to make it move (gif). Muahaha haa. Maybe in another few months. Lol
I also wrote all of my AMV ideas to my comp from little peace of papers that I had used to make notes to. The thing is something like 12 pages long. About one third of it is song lyrics, but it´s still loooong. I wonder if other creators have so many ideas. There about six that I would actually want to do and those would be original.
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As you can see if you read this far I´m having trouble getting to the point. I applied to four different lines in polytechnic schools. They are computer related, but none of them were near the things that I´m actually interested in. All of the lines that I would have preferred had preliminary works that you would have had to do for today. As I only started to think about all of this a few weeks ago I didn´t have time to do the works when I have to go to school. I´ll try again next fall if I´m still interested in those.
In the mean time I´ll concentrate on getting into studying something because I have to. I hate money. I hate the way it limits my free will and choices (long story). I hate capitalism and the fact that it restricts my freedom too. I HATE MONEY! Sorry, if this doesn´t make any sense. It´s a long story.
This all made my life shit for few weeks so I need a brake now. It´s a shame that I couldn´t take you people with me to the roller coaster ride that has been my life for the past weeks. First I´m really depressed. So depressed that I barely can lift a finger and I´m also really tired. Then I get sad and after that I get really mad at the world for giving me this to live through. It´s kinda refreshing to be angry, because I rarely get angry. But being so mad that you just snap at people, break pencils (I would have if they weren´t made of plastic) and just generally be a real bitch, gets a bit tiring after a while. And BTW I´m the only one who has the right to call me bitch so don´t even try your luck.
And then it all starts again from the start. It´s like a frigging hamster wheel ride. Round and round it goes. Then you´re supposed to make decisions concerning your future in such a state of mind. Things were a lot worse last year, but it still sucks. What this all did to me was that I don´t really care what I end up studying and if somebody asks me I won´t tell them anything. It´s none of their business so they can just fuck off. Am I making my self clear? I´m getting mad again.. trying to calm down.
*Listening to Sonata Arctica´s I Want Out* from my new 5.1 speakers ( see last journal entry). Hmm.. feeling a lot better. That song really relieves stress when you play it loud. I love my bass! *Fondles bass with toes.*lol Music has never sounded this good before. The speakers were worth every penny (cent). Seems that I have to update my profile to a new sound card and speakers. =D
Tomorrow I´m going to watch anime to cover up for the few weeks. *big smile* I had my first anime dream last week. It was a good dream that ended too soon. I´m not telling what anime it was about. I´ll have to also read the journals from the past weeks from the fifty people that are in my Buddy list.
lol that rabbit stuff is funny, but true. It distracts and disnegourages people from reading this far. lol
I think I´ve said this before, but it´s just so fitting even if nobody understads...
NYAR!!! -
103 Journal HITS!
2003-04-03 12:53:37
This is how I feel now. Imagine me shouting this to every bodys faces.
Sonata Arctica - I Want Out
[Helloween-cover]
From our lives' beginning on
we are pushed in little forms
no one asks us how we like to be
in school they teach you what to think
but everyone says different things
but they're all convinced that
they're the ones to see
So they keep talking and they never stop
and at a certain point you give it up
so the only thing that's left to think is this
I want out--to live my life alone
I want out--leave me be
I want out--to do things on my own
I want out--to live my life and to be free
People tell me A and B
they tell me how I have to see
things that I have seen already clear
so they push me then from side to side
they're pushing me from black to white
they're pushing 'til there's nothing more to hear
But don't push me to the maximum
shut your mouth and take it home
'cause I decide the way things gonna be
I want out--to live my life alone
I want out--leave me be
I want out--to do things on my own
I want out--to live my life and to be free
There's a million ways to see the things in life
a million ways to be the fool
in the end of it, none of us is right
sometimes we need to be alone
No no no, leave me alone
I want out--to live my life alone
I want out--leave me be
I want out--to do things on my own
I want out--to live my life and to be free
* * *
So that´s how I feel. I´ll hopefully write again tomorrow if I have time. BTW thanks for the 103 hits people. It means a lot to me right now. -
Beta female wolf signing out for a while
2003-03-26 02:22:57
The RHCP concert was just as awesome as I expected it to be. I’m also going to Apocalyptica`s gig on Friday. I’m looking forward to that. ^_^
I finally looked into what I would like to study next fall and I actually found something to my interests. The deadline for the assignments, that you have to do to even get to the do the exam, is 4.4.2003, which leaves me less than two weeks time to do them. So in order to even try I have to stop coming to the org for a while. =(
On top of it all I´m really depressed about all of this. I knew I would be and that was the reason for the fact that I´ve been putting this forward for a long time. BLAH! I have to also have to brake my promise to see my friends next weekend. =(((
I´ll see you all later.
*Lupus_Lupus signs out*
- *bangs head to wall* 2003-03-23 04:22:24 Where is that edit button when you need one? The question marks aren´t of cource headed to the wrong direction. Man I´m so stupid sometimes. -_-
- "Stop the war!" NOT ?Stop the war!? 2003-03-23 04:19:37 WTF? That´s just so weird *falls from chair for laughing so hard*. I use OpenOffice to write these things (spellchecking). Man that´s just so funny. lolololol The question marks are even headed to the wrong direction. How did I do that? lol *dies from laughing so hard*
JOURNAL: Lupus_Lupus (Lupu )
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