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the shape of you against the sky
2002-06-15 12:06:30
I just heard from one of the lecturers I asked an extension from for an essay. The essay was due on Thursday, and I asked my lecturer for an extension till Tuesday because I was sick. Just today he emails me telling me to hand in the essay on Monday, and that he can only give me the extension provided I show him a medical certificate!
Why does he need to see a medical documentation if the rest of my lecturers didn't ask for one? According to school rules, documentation is needed only if I am asking for more than a week of extension. And I'm asking for way less! In fact, I asked for the LEAST days of extension from this lecturer. And how am I supposed to see a doctor on a Saturday, when everything in Australia closes for the weekend? Plus, I took some flu pills and slept the last two days, so I'm way better now. By the time Monday rolls round, there'll probably be no sign of my flu. Maybe I should save some of my blood speckled tissues and submit THAT as evidence instead of a medical cert.
Doesn't he understand that the only thing that will cure a flu is REST, and that doctors can't do anything but slap you on the back, overcharge you for drugs you could get at 7-11 and tell you to sleep it off? It's a waste of time and MONEY.
Frankly, I think he's a new lecturer who feels like he needs to prove he can't be pushed around, thus the chopping of my extension period and the demand of documentation. I can see where he's coming from though... afterall, he doesn't have any proof I am not lying about being sick. *sigh*
My sister has just started her media course. She seems to be enjoying it, especially marketing. But yesterday she came up against some of her project group members, because they were being quite slip-shod about the selection of the subject of their marketing analysis. They wanted to do an analysis of g-strings. While that's an OK idea, they didn't even think up of a brand to analyse until my sister pointed out that it was going to be hard if they didn't have a brand to base their study on. They wanted to do a marketing analysis on g-strings in GENERAL. Excuse me while I laugh derisively at their naivete. Bwahahaha.
But seriously, under my condescending media snobbery, I am quite proud that my sister has measure of media common sense. Guess she has more media savvy than I gave her credit for. And guess who it rubbed off from? Waha!
If you think that was an utterly shameless way of hijacking a compliment, I'd like to inform you that it's a cherished family tradition.
Ami, aged 4: Mama, mama! That ice-cream uncle said I'm really pretty!
My twisted momma: Of course, you're pretty! And whose side of the family did your looks came from?
Ami, aged 7: Mama, mama! That Mexican lady said my Spanish is really good! She said she can't even detect an accent!
My twisted momma: That's wonderful! And who taught you Spanish?
Ami, aged 13: Mama, mama! I got a book prize for best in English!
My twisted momma: I'm so proud of you! And who taught you how to read?
I've learnt from the best. I just need to get that expression of benign expectancy down pat. It never failed to blackmail me into giving the 'right' answer.
My sister was recently offered a modelling job. The agency called her and told her how the client had specifically picked HER out of a whole binder of contact sheets. Despite having told them eariler that she wouldn't take on any jobs during her school period, the agent tried to entice her with an overseas trip (to Jakarta, where the shoot was going to be) and a promise of a pay that would run into "thousands of dollars". We had a bit of a laugh about that one, my sister and I. As you can tell, I'm a bit leery about promises of big money, especially if they don't give a specific figure. In any case, my sister had to tell the agency she couldn't take the job, because the days of the job fall on her school days. Yay for priorities and sticking to them! And I'm kinda glad she isn't going, because I don't feel safe with her going by herself. Of course, she's old enough to decide for herself, but I'm glad she made the wise choice. Like she said, it's not as if she wants to make a career out of modelling. Studies are way more important.
Hm. I guess I can't claim credit for that in the same journal entry where I am yowling about rejected requests for deadline extensions. Darn! -
"When I woke up, everything was was HMTL formatted."
2002-06-14 23:50:18
I. Had. Such. A. Good. Sleep.
Wow. For the first time in months I feel bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
The title for this journal entry is today's dream phrase. If you've read my previous journal entries, you'll know that once in a while I wake up with a phrase tangled in my brain from a dream I had.
Don't ask me why I thought everything was HTML formatted. I can't remember exactly what I was dreaming except that it was very structured. And boring. But it did make for a restful sleep.
Maybe it had something to do with the way I kept waking up every hour on the hour from 10 am onwards. I finally got out of bed at 1pm. *shivery stretch* - 2002-06-14 11:29:56 Hey EK, your MP3s ALWAYS make me feel better. Unless of course it's nearing the end of the month and my bandwidth allowance is almost all used up... then I CURSE you and your tasty MP3s.
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On pain. Lots of it.
2002-06-14 09:35:20
I am so spaced out. My thoughts are wading around in molasses. Once in a while they go under and don't come back up again.
And despite feeling like this, I went out to dinner with a couple of friends. Had to, because one of them came all the way to Melbourne to see us, and if I didn't see him today, I would miss him altogether.
I think I managed OK, because nobody could really tell I was in la-la land. Oh, they knew I was sick, because I had brought along my box of tissues to the restaurant, but I don't think they knew how emotionally detached from everything I was. I didn't feel that bad when I was out, but when I came home, I realised how much that little excursion had drained me.
Now I am just so exhausted. I don't know how to describe it. It's not a case of sleepiness, or muscle fatigue. I feel WEAK. That's it. And it's not just physically. It's like my emotions are all wrung out. I can't muster the strength to do anything, and it's got nothing to do with muscles. Even breathing is such a chore. I don't think I'm getting enough oxygen.
I'm trying to act normal, but when I talked my syllables were all drawn out. I can't manage facial expressions without effort so I didn't look up too often in case my thousand yard stare scares my neighbours. As it is, they keep giving me uneasy looks.
Could be the flu pill I took just now. It says non-drowsy, but it didn't say anything about turning one into an emotional zombie. Well, at least my nose is not dripping. I hate having to blow my nose every few minutes.
No word yet from 3 of my lecturers regarding my essay deadline extensions. But right now I don't care. I feel like some vital part of me has gone on a holiday. All I want to do now is sleep this feeling of weakness and retardedness away.
Well, at least I am in no pain. Scooter's account of Cok-Saki sounds quite hair-raising. The only time I was anything close to that was when I got a massive ulcer in the back of my throat. It was more like a huge raw boil. Swallowing was like drinking acid. I lost so much weight because I couldn't stand the pain that came with eating. If I had to swallow anything, it was done with a whimper and a grimace. Imagine having to go through that every few minutes, because hey, you have to swallow your spit sometime, right? I did enjoy showing it off to people though. My ulcer became quite the celebrity.
I do know how it feels to suffer such constant pain that you cannot remember how it feels to be free of it. When I went to Mexico two or three years back, I had a toothache that lasted about three weeks. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and the only thing that worked were some really strong pain-killers my uncle gave me (because he has a pharmacy). Too bad it contained aspirin, which I am allergic to. Taking the pills completely blocked the pain. All of it. But it came with a price - rashes. On my eyelids.
But I didn't care, because when I took the pills, my life was normal. I could eat, I could talk, the swelling in my face went down. I could do ANYTHING. Until the drug wore off. And then I had to endure about half an hour of mind bending agony until the next dose kicked in.
When the pills ran out (because I moved to another town where it wasn't available), I resorted to clenching my teeth hard. It made the pain spike up so bad I'd get black spots in my vision, but at least when I released my clenched teeth, the normal pain felt like relief.
My life then centered round this activity. Clench. Agonnnnyyy. Unclench. Oh, blessed release. Clench. I'm going to dieeee... Unclench. Wow. Almost like no pain. And on and on and on.
Then one day when I was doing that, clenching harder and harder trying to push my previous limits of pain, I felt and HEARD a crack in my tooth. And immediately the pain disappeared. It was like a miracle.
The dentist couldn't explain it. He took x-rays and stuff, thinking the crack I heard may have been my filling snapping due to the pressure I had exerted on it, but everything was fine. He even took out the old filling suspecting the pain might have been due to a cavity UNDER the filling, but that wasn't the case.
And now I can't recall what the pain was like. Oh, I remember the emotions, and everything else, but not the pain. It's amazing, how the body can just forget pain. But even now, I feel a spike of terror everytime that particular tooth feels anything remotely like a tickle of pain.
Scoot, your entry was so funny and yet so terrifying. I wanted to laugh, but was too confused to. It's so easy to talk about it now, describe it humorously, but I KNOW what it's like. I know how pain can be such a huge part of your life that you think it's all you knew and all you will ever know, and how you will never be able to laugh again, EVER...
And then it ends and you forget. I'm still amazed by the ability to forget a sensation that had once RULED your entire experience for what seemed like forever.
Ok. I am rambling. I'm off to vaccum my room. It doesn't require any mental energy, and hopefully the physical exertion will tire me out enough to have a good nights rest. And maybe when I wake up I'll feel normal again. -
evil sick
2002-06-14 00:50:53
This is such a bad time to get sick. 4 essays due in the next few days, and I'm down with the flu. It's the debilitating kind that fogs your brain and makes you feel sleepy all the time. I've been blowing my nose so much that there's blood on the tissues. Just a couple of specks really, but it still makes for impressive telling.
I applied for a couple of extensions for my essays, and I got one of them already. I haven't been able to contact my other lecturers except through email, so I am guessing those will take a while. I just hope they don't request a medical certificate. I don't really want to see the doctor because, hey, what can he do other than tell me to drink lots of fluids and rest? And frankly, I'd rather save the money. I'd rather spend $5 on tissues and paracetemol than however much it costs to see a doctor here in Australia.
I think I'm going to have to clear out the waste paper basket soon. One of the rats has been climbing in and getting cosy with my used tissues. I would be grossed out, but right now the only emotion I can manage is a slight worry that my rat will catch something from me.
I hope my lecturers give me the extensions. Maybe I should call them and tell them about the blood in the tissues... but of course I'd say it in a sufficiently ambiguous manner to raise concern. Like; "Oh, I wasn't planning to see the doctor, but I just might have to because recently there's been blood in the tissues when I blow my nose..."
Ohhh, that's so evil and manipulative. I don't think I could do it.
JOURNAL: Amizadai (Lee Amizadai )
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