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His Funeral Is Tomorrow
2003-04-21 17:48:58
Him and his mom are in the same funeral. I'm not going. I already don't have enough sleep as it is, and since Funerals are just for closure anyway, I'm not going. I've already accepted that his dead. I did that the day I knew he died. The guy held accountable for the murder's trial is Thursday, I believe. I want to go, but I'm not sure I can. >.> I only want to go to see exactly HOW Ethan and his mom died, since in the courtroom that will probably be all released.
ANYWAY....
I did a lot of stuff today. By visiting Media Play, I....
Learned I was their most frequent customer.
Bought two DVD shelves to expant on my entertainment center that was overflowing with DVDs.
Bought JIN-ROH.
Bought X[Four].
Bought Epherimal(sp.) Fantasia for the PS2
Bought April's NEWTYPE USA
learned I only need to do two things to become a VA, now(move to NYC, and take some classes about scripts.. or soemthing...)
Learned you should buy ANY Box set the week they come out, because after that, they get horribly overpriced.
DVD, Game, CD, and Skip Dr. Are are the same stupid machine with different names for different stores.
I don't need to rewrite what I already have of my book, but instead take those ideas of the old unfinished book, and create a new one based on it.
Learned that FFX-2 will suck ass
Yes. All that at Media Play.
And then at PetsMart, I...
Bout fake plants for the pond in the backyard, since it's too shady for real plants to bloom(if actually grow at all)
Finally bought a pump/filter for the pond.
Bought a new water bottle for the Gunea Pig(The old one's lid won't screw on right)
Bought a vegetable/hay/food holder for the Gunea Pig
Argued over and am now saving up for a harness and leash for the Gunea Pig just to look weird while walking him[Gunea Pig] around stores and the other places outside.
My day was fun. In addition, I...
Got a new AMV idea that I'm going to start on if it's not stolen already(It involves Evanesence(sp.?)'s "Wake me Up Inside" so the idea being taking is quite high) and even if it is taken I'll probably do it anyway.
Got out of school early for the Orthodontist
Am marking my calendar on days I worked on AMVs, to see how often and how long I actually do it compared to other things, to make a schedule accordingly(I'm a freak, I know)
Realize I'm probably not going to use anything I bought, excluding the NEWTYPE USA mag, for about a month.
Now, I'm off to search if that GREAT idea for an AMV was taken...
If it wasn't, I'll start on it today, and leave the Identity trailer to do after the trial and Funeral of Ethan and his mom. After that happens, I'll probably just work on one AMV one day and the next the other, or switch off accordingly if I get bored of one or stuck in one spot.... -
My eyes are either still swollen from crying, Or I just haven't gotten enough sleep. (900+ Hits)
2003-04-20 10:29:36
Yeah.
Well, nothing knew on the Mincher case. The police are being idiots and won't release any more information. SO really, all we know is the same thing that we've known since the beginning. (1) two people died, (2)The guy who did it was arrested. And that's it. We don't know how they died, when they died, why they died... Or even if anything was stolen from their house. I'm fed up with this.
Today's Easter. Yay.[/sarcasm]
My parents forced me to go to church again. What's worse, is they took me to the early service, when the KNOW I haven't sleep in like days.
So, someone's stupid alarm clock went off at 6 am and woke me up. I tried to go back ot sleep but that didn't really work. Then at 8am we really were supposed to get up, and at 8:30 we were supposed to leave. All that happened according to schedule.
So then, I go to church, the preist talks about what a preist usually talks about on Easter, and then he says something about death and rebirth, as expected. Then he tells a story about some woman and her husband.
"Before the woman died, she was planting bulbs in the garden." The preacher(for now on, know that I call a preacher a preist for some odd reason.) said. "As the husband watched her in her green garden dress, the day after she died he knew that she wasn't planted bulbs, she was preparing her rebirth." WHat a shitload of crap.
That's like saying art has a deeper meaning. The woman was planting bulbs. She didn't know she was going to die. She was just planting bulbs because she liked planting bulbs. And art has no deeper meaning unless the artist says it does. Let's say a guy drew some odd horse thing that got into a museum. Everyone at the musuem is like "Wow, I wonder what this horse was doing, and what inspired the artist to make a piece such as this." And then some art interpretor comes along(Which I'm sure they have those, now) says "The ARtist was clearly inspired by a death in the family. This horse is mourning a lose. See, this fence? It symbolizes that the horse cannot jump over the hurdle in life that is death."
But you know the fuck that's not true. The artist was probably bored and just drew it, thinking it looked neat. Like that picture with the rectangles that's supposed to be some big mathamatical thing. I'm sure that guy was also just bored and decided to draw a few rectangles and BAM! It's the most expensive piece of artwork there ever was. Lucky for him.
Sorry if you're Christian.
I mean, I'm agnostic, like I've said many times before to my parents. The priest also said in the church this morning, "We are a Christian nation. Yet the people here have freedom. It is in our religion to celebrate freedom of choice." Yeah, well, even though that goes above and beyond wrong in the Bible, he said it. And if that's true, then my parents should stop lugging my brother and I to church if we don't want to go, and/or don't believe in God, or are not Christian.
Y'see, my brother is Christian, he just doesn't believe in mass worship. He thinks there's no point. And I'm agnostic, so I don't want to go either way.
My parents also say, that when I'm sixteen, I can "decide" not to go to church. My brother is 19. They're still lugging him to church on Holidays. My parents suck.
I mean, I asked them once, "Mom, Dad, If I was gay, would you accept it?"
they said yes. "Then how come you don't accept that I don't believe in God?"
I mean, really, folks! If I was gay, I wouldn't force YOU to go around to gay bars and parties and things that celebrate gaiety(is that the right word?) But you seem to think it's right to lug ME around to Christian events even though you KNOW I'm not CHristian?
I remember when I was younger, if I refused to go to church I'd get in trouble. But I'd still have to go. If I refused to say "And Our Father who art in heaven" Or however the rest of that saying thing goes, I'd be grounded. If I didn't participate, I'd be punished. WHat the hell? I mean, When I was like 9 I only didn't want to come to church because I wanted to sleep. But when I got to like 12 years old, I had decided I was agnostic, because I really didn't believe in God or Jesus or who knows what else they keep talking about in Church. (The Ghost? The Holy spirit? Come on..)
Yet they kept punishing me. One day, during that thing with the bread and wine, I was so fed up with my parents, that I didn't swallow the bread. I kept it in my mouth, and planned to spit it out later (This was when I had decided I was agnostic, but my parents had also decided that I was full of bullshit and just didn't want to go to church). You won't believe what happened to me after that.
I mean, they drag me to a place of worship to a God that I don't believe in, and they expect me to behave? And actually NOT mock their religion? Oh no. I mean, I get INITED to churches and religious events all the time by one of my christian friends. If I agree to go to those I don't mock them and I behave, but if someone drags me along without my agreeing, and against MY beliefs, you better damn be EXPECTING me to mock you and do whatever the hell I can to embarrass you infront of your God.
AGain, sorry if you're Christian.
Happy Easter. -
Trying to keep my mind off it...
2003-04-19 18:36:15
Well, I began to TRY to rip PS2 footage, but that didn't turn out too well. I think I'll start a topic in the forum for help.
I also updated the AP and Anime Music Pages.
AP Page:
http://clik.to/amv
Anime Music Page:
http://clik.to/animemusic
Beware the popup ads. -
Eyes swollen, body numb. The soul is broken. The feelings, gone.
2003-04-19 11:14:05
Yeah.
I still can't figure out why the hell the police arn't releasing any information about Ethan and his mom. They say they may have found the murderer, though.
New News:
http://www.accessatlanta.com/ajc/metro/cobb/0403/19cobbmurderfolo.html -
"I saw a man who wasn't there. Who wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd go away." -Identity
2003-04-18 15:32:51
A very close friend of mine was brutally murdered yesterday. I went to school today, unknowing, and when I was getting out of the car to go in school, my mom said "Hey, do you know a kid named Ethan? I heard on the radio that he died today." And I was like, "What's his last name?" My mom said she didn't know, but that Ethan had a younger sister, and went to my school. And I was like. "Maybe. I think there's a lot of Ethans."
So I went in, only to find that Ethan. MY Ethan, was dead. Tied up, they said. His mom was was, too. She died at the house, and Ethan died at the hospital. Yesterday, at 4:30, Ethan's little sister came home from school and saw them there... She ran to a neighbor's house. Ethan's dad was at work. No sign of a forced entry, they said.
So, in first period, I was pretty zombie-like and numb. I couldn't believe it was Ethan. I have drama, and we were painting sets, so I tried to get my mind off of it. I have Depression, so if I get to a large amount of sadness I pretty much kill myself, so I didn't want it to get to me.
But then, in second period, that's English, wer're reading "A Stranger Is Watching" by Mary Higgins Clark. Our teacher had mentioned the other day that if we were uncomfortable reading the book, she'd give us another one to read. So, I went to the teacher at the beginning of class, asked to read another book, and she asked why, and that's when it just came all out. I started balling and I said "Because of Ethan." Or "I'm a friend of Ethan's" well, all I know is that the Ethan part was really all that was audible. I didn't want to go to the counselors. I hate them all. They're just too nice and it really pisses me off. But the teacher made em go anyway. There was like 20 people there. Ethan wasn't a popular kid. He was just nice. I mean, if you met him, he'd crack jokes and stuff, and just.. He'd stick in your mind. So, I stayed there for the whole period. I didn't want to call home, or go home like everybody else was doing or planning to do because I knew that if I was home, I'd have access to weapons and drugs and stuff that I wouldn't have access to at school. Not to mention I didn't want the big long talk about "it's okay. I'm sorry. I'm here." crap. Or "EThan would have wanted you to this" or "Ethan's in a happier place" That's just a load of bullshit. He's dead. Gone. There's no heaven or hell. You just die. Like when you go to sleep. Endless black void.
3rd Period, I got out of the counselors' and went to class. Even though Math is the class the Ethan's in with me, I went anyway. It'd seem that that'd be the class I wouldn't want to be in, but it was. Since I'd practically been crying nonstop for an hour and 45 minutes, I was pretty numb.
Our teacher started talking about Ethan and stuff; I mean, she liked him, too. As I said, once you met Ethan, you know, he sticks. He's like.. The least person you'd ever expect to be murdered. There's no motif whatsoever. It's like.. Ethan's family is like a real live Brady Bunch. They're just so damn nice.
So, I got through the first half of 3rd period, and then I got pretty numb at lunch, but started to ease over a bit thanks to jokes from my other friends.
During the second half of Math, and fourth period(The last period of the day, our school has block scheduling) I was pretty good. If not unusually happy and energetic. But now, as I write this. I'm crying again.
I mean, you see it all over the TV for other people, and you just don't care. But once it's a picture of someone you know that's flashed over the news, it's completely diferrent.
I mean, Ethan was only 14. He was so nice, he did nothing to anybody. There wouldn't be a random murder in our area, it's too quiet. All the murders happen in Atlanta. Not in East Cobb.
Why the hell did they have to kill a highschool freshman? ANd his mom?!
News article:
http://www.accessatlanta.com/ajc/metro/cobb/0403/18twodead.html
So, I'm going to be shaken for awhile.
Ethan's birthday was next week. He was so excited.
Since I've been working on the Identity trailer, I am going to put it aside for a while until I feel a bit better. I don't think I can cope with working with a murder movie right now.
And the Kendo commercial? It's not done. I think we're getting an extension. Dan was one of Ethan's best friends. He didn't go to consouling, and was pretty numb and zombie-like. He didn't want to talk about anything.
Well.... I guess I'm going to be taking a long break from AMVs, if not start a drama AMV chain because of this...
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