JOURNAL: SQ (StandardQuip )

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  • No, it's not good when your counselor lies to you after only one meeting.... 2003-10-31 14:21:40

    -_-

    I'm taking a week off from the internet. I may be on AIM, since it auto-logs me in, because I have to do econ, but otherwise I'll be gone.

    But, if I'm not online for 7 days, on the 8th day, I want somebody to call my house. Because something happened if I'm not online in any shape or form for a whole week.

    the runners of AWA Expo and Yaoicon have my number and address, and so does two other people...

    If you're actually going to count the days, don't count this weekend, since I'll be somewhere other then the computer..

    Anyway, yeah.

     
  • Stuffage. 2003-10-28 18:11:21
    Nicholas closed the door behind Najari and bolted it. It was a perfunctory act, done more to add to the aura of peril than out of necessity.
    Even with their hands tied behind their backs, these people could, together, probably overpower him--knock him down and kick in his head, if nothing else. But for that, they would have to think, to decide what they ought to do and why, to commit to act. Easier not to think. Easier not to act. Easier to do as you are told.

    Easier to die than to live.
    Living took effort. Struggle. Pain.
    Nicholas hated it.
    "Hate to live, live to hate," he said to the silent, ghostly white faces watching him.

    -----

    I'll be there by your side
    In the land of the twilight
    In your dream I will go
    'Til we find the sunrise

    You are lost in nightmare
    Deep in blue illusion
    One more kiss to wake you up
    come be mine, you are mine

    I will be there seekin' for liminality
    No destinations to see, I wander
    In quiet places so dark as eternity
    I'm crying, calling your name
    I'm searching for you

    ----

    Just quotes I really like. =p

    Yeah, yeah... I'll get to those ops... As soon as I'm on the pill.

    Look, I know I said I'd do it today, but it's too hard to concentrate. It's hard enough to try and get a D in class, right now.

    And I have to critique these two betas. I was overestimating myself when I said I'd do ops today. =

    (Btw: The person's name I forgot was Shesta) 
  • KhayotiK and counseling. 0_o 2003-10-28 10:57:52 Dude, Khay, that was like the most random comment ever.
    You have this big copy and paste thing going on, and then "Sq rawks". Wtf?
    But meh. Thanks anyway.

    SOOOOOOOOOOO.......

    The counelor's appointment yesterday.
    Did you know that my problem with lack of sleep is due to depression? And I thought that was just me. Cool.
    And my bad hygiene, too. It's all depression's fault.
    Oh yeah. Depression is the fault for it ALL. Take the pill to heal everything!
    /sarcasm.

    Seriously, though, all I did was take a lot of written tests(okay, two). And then on some international scale thing for Depression, I scored a 33, which is apparently hella high, as that is "severly depressed". =s

    So, basically, what it ended up with.. Is...

    ... Bleh

    Wednesday she's calling to get me an appointment with the psychiatrist, so I can get a perscription for some meds, and then she wants me to start counseling once a week "immediately".

    =s

    I mean, I'm WILLING to give it a try, but, for some odd reason I can picture going to counseling just making it worse... =s

    I am free from econ. Since I'll be at a friend's house after school today, I'll be on AIM.
    Since I have literally one day, I am going to do all those ops I owe. Although I'll have to re-download the vids on my friend's comp...

    So, the people I owe ops... Esc(2nd vid) that girl who made Vash in a Nutshell..(Don't worry, I'll remember your name later..)
    Wuwu's "Because I choose to"
    Fyrt's "Tantalus"...

    I THINK I said I'd op Nexmos's romance vid(Macross 2?)

    If I owe you an op PM me...
    If you want a free op, PM me....


    ----

    I am a proud owner of the Sonic Underground DVD.
    Shadow Hearts OST.
    .hack//LIMINALITY OST.

    Liminality #2 and #full version rawk.
    So does KhayotiK.

    I need ot get my ass in gear for AMP... 
  • Boo.... Ish 2003-10-27 11:13:11 Yesterday was kinda good. I mean, now that I think back on it, I wonder "how the hell was I happy that day?" Because of all the shit I went through but hey, I felt good, and that's what counts, I guess.

    So Sunday was a big busy day.

    Saturday, my dad was gone the whole day for Frat day(for my Bro, Killer B, cosmo920. He's popular on ebay and kazaa-ness.) And I just basically worked on my Pokemon AMV all day and talked online. Coolness.

    So, come saturday night, My dad says "You need to get up early tomorrow; we're gonna eat breakfast together."

    You can imagine how confused I was, and after some debate I was like "okay".

    (My mom is in NYC until Wednesday, that's why it's just my dad and I)

    So Sunday, I wake up at ten(which was really 9am) and went downstairs..> Watched TV for a good hour before my dad came down.

    It wasn't until like 12pm that we actually went out. We first went to Chris's, I think, this Breakfast and Brunch place... It looked like an hour wait, and I really didn't want to eat out so I was like "Let's just go home, dad." But nah, he wouldn't listen to me...

    So we go to American Grille, which doesn't serve breakfast.
    And then we ended up at.... Wafflehouse.
    WAFFLEHOUSE. The epitomy of Southern hick.

    "You look like you're in pain." my dad said to me when I was trying to force down some horrid waffle. I just gave him a sly look, but you know I was thinking "Well, no duh, because this place SUCKS."

    But meh.

    After that we went home for 30 or so minutes, I started working on an extra credit project for math(testilation). Then at 1:30ish we went to the theater and saw Scary Movie 3. It was incredibly stupid. Only a few parts were funny. I swear to god that screenplay was written by a 15 year old. The crouch jokes, the boob jokes. Disgustingly bad writing. =s

    After that, went to Media Play.

    Hello, Media Play. .. I went in with 170 USD and left with... 10.
    That's sad. =s

    But here's what I bought, anyway.
    Yami no Matsuei(Descendants of Darkness) #2
    .hack//SIGN limited edition(w/ .hack//LIMINALITY OST) #3
    Gundam Wing #9
    XTV 5-6
    Newtype USA.

    I felt so guilty. It's because I wanted to use the money for something else. Something more important than mere anime DVDs. But no... I succumbed to the evil shopping surge. ><;;

    What was I going to use that money for? Well, I was talking to KhayotiK(whilst we were sexxing. ;-P. [Forum joke]) and I told him if I kept the money I had right now, I'd be set for a month or two on my own(apartment) without a job. But NOOOO.. I had ot go and spend some of that on DVDs. Thank god the other 600ish was in the bank. Yes... Thank God.

    Fate will rule us all... Stupid fate. -shakes fist-

    So anyway... That counselor appointment assessement is today at 8.30.
    Devolution finally showed up on online, and he asked me if I was ready for it. And it got me thinking(although I'd been thinking about it all week anyway) about stuff.

    Because some days I'm cussing myself out for going to the school counselor that one day, and other days I convince myself it's the right hting... I really odn't know if I'm ready. I mean.. A see saw is not a good thing to be on, but... Pills for life?
    My mom said if I stopped taking them at any point in time, "You won't be on a see-saw, you'll be on a roller coaster."
    And I can definetly see myself stopping the pills and trying to commit suicide.
    Hell, if I can chew the bread and wine for an hour during communion at church and spit it in the trash can(as compared to the Preacher's face... which I wanted to do) It's quite possible I could do anything. =s
    (FYI: I actually did do that)

    So... This week... It's gone by pretty "meh"-like. I've now flunked 2 tests and a quiz. And I'm going to bomb another test tomorrow.
    Simply because I'm not paying attention. Good 'ol not paying attention syndrome. Gotta love it. =s
    Although, on the flip side, I've come up with yet another idea for a comic. Cool, ne?


    No, the sound part of my mind says it's not cool.
    The sound part of my mind says "Kick your ass in gear, Q and do you stupid schoolwork now or forever regret it!!"

    But that's really hard to think about when I'm doing nothing in all my classes as it is and the job offer from CNN looks even BETTER.

    HELL, do you know why my Video Prod teacher told me? I have to finish 5 projects, right? And I'm only on my fourth one. He basically said, I'd pass this class if I only did 3.
    And still get the CNN gig.

    THAT'S INSENIVE TO DO WORK, ISN'T IT?

    -_-"

    I am just.... I dunno. Inside me it's like oil and water flowing around. I don't know who I am anymore, and everybody thinks I'm a playboy-type using and abusing.. Lying bitch asshole. But I'm not. I did all those things for a reason... I just can't... Tell you guys. -_-''

    It'd be nice if you read the manual for the rubic's cube and kept the answer to yourself...




     
  • Mmmm.... Depression. 2003-10-25 15:23:11 The counselor appointment thing is Monday at 8:30pm.

    It's a woman. =s
    My dad is taking me.
    =s

    That is all.

    =s

    ----------------------------

    I'm sorry, MJ and tutter. ;_;
    SPecifically MJ, since I really tried to keep myself in check. I'm really thankful you took the time and effort to beta test for me... 
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