JOURNAL: HungryCrackPot (I.C. Faggot)

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  • Foshizzle my nizzle with a fuckin chizzle... 2002-12-12 19:31:04 Well, I finally gave the girl the birthday gift. Spent the whole day in a little hel spiral trying to get it to her. then when I do, she doesnt even open the bag. I see her later and someone gave her a bunch of balloons. I fell like I have been outmatched by some unknown force of forceful unknowing...

    Back to life.

    I just got home from playing guitar at a winter concert.
    "Ladies and gentlemen, we have brought you here tonight as a test. How long can the average human suffer uncomprehensible musical bullshit and stay sitting down...?"
    The sad answer to that was through the whole thing. Parents, friends, family, all there watching us play, and surely not listening because if they had, their ears would have started bleeding and their eyes would have popped. I wish they did though, the screaming would have overpowered the noise of 40 guitars with 5 year old strings on everyway playing its very own melody.
    I myself just sat their with this weapon in my arms (when you run to a back room and open your head with a guitar, it is officially a weapon), listening to everyone screw up left and right. Our teacher, conducting us at the front and right in my face, was either not listening as well or was too embearrassed to do anything but smile and say "Good job!", the whole time grinning like an idiot and grinding his teeth. When the concert was over, I ran as fast as I could, seeing as if I didnt, he would have crucified me by my genitals to my guitar.
    In other news... there is now other news. This is a school night, nothing fun has happened yet. Good night, and watch where you put your eyes, you might forget them and lose them for good. 
  • Birthday Bitch! 2002-12-08 19:16:09 As I stood there in the mall with the eyes of everyone arond me imagining what tortured souls bathe amongst bodies in my basement, the revelation that has now inspired many a man to kill dawned upon me!: I am a Birthday Bitch!
    I went into the mall with a clock and poster in mind! I came out with a card and perfume! How can this be? Lets look at what happened:
    I walked into the fortress of confusion, listening to the sweet sounds of children screaming in agony and ecstasy at the same time. The screams, though foriegn to me, where recognizable and their source undeniable:
    "MOMMY!!! I WANT TO SIT ON HIS LAP BUT I POOPED MY PANTS!"
    "I WANT A BICYCLE AND A BALL AND A LARGE IDIOT THAT WEARS ORANGE AND BLUE AND IS A HAIRY MONKEY MAN!!!"
    "Sit on his lap, smile, get the fucking picture taken, and go! I haven't beaten you today and you need a whoopin!"
    "Fucking kids... ggrhg.... sit in MY lap.... I'll bone you ALL... and you thought it would end with your priest..." (Off the topic: Touched by an Angel to Molested by a Priest. Spin off series?)
    I walked by the chaos, eyeing the big red tyrant that sat in a throne that was decorated with the golds and jewels of his fallen opponents (some of which he hung on a large tree) and painted with the blood of his victims. I moved on, trying not to draw any attention to myself, seeing as I have been in singled out many times as a tool of mayhem amongst this kingdom of doom.
    I entered my intended destination, where as much as some of the inhabitants resembled me, almost none of them could understand me. I went to one that spoke my language, and asked for a desired object.
    "Hey, do you guys still have the Nightmare Before Christmas clocks?"
    "No."
    "Okay. Have anything else like it."
    "We have this stuff."
    He escorted me to a small wall filled with oils and perfumes and other shit that I would never even bother to lay my eyes upon, as they are reffered to as "girly" and "a threat to my masculinity!" Just looking at them made my balls shrink to the size of raisins. I stood there, gathered prices (and souls!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!) and decided to look around a bit more.
    I went to another wall dwelling amongst the castle, and found it filled with... umm... videos. I went in, KNOWING that they had what I sought, but fuckingly they did not. I shook my fist at the gods!!!
    "DAMN YOU GODS OF GETTING TO DO SHIT WHEN IT IS TOO LATE!!! YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATHE OF ANAL WARTS!!!"
    And they did.
    And I left.
    And and and and.
    I went BACK to the store I previously had visited, the whole time masterfully dodging fat people and pushey fuckers. I went back to the wise-all-knowing-man-of-shitty-gifts and said "I seek your smelly stuff." Now I must have confused him pretty well when I made my choice. I chose the amazing, exotic fragrance of "Rag Doll". But this was not because I wish to smell of the opposite sex (which is not always a bad thing), but as I told him, "Dat shit aint fo me!" I was buying a gift for someone else. And she just so happened to be just that. A SHE!!! This setteled his size 0 gauge nose ring.
    Now why did I choose perfume? I do not even know if she will like it. Why? Maybe because it is a well know fact that women like to smell. And smell she will. Why not another fragrance? Well, the only other one they had went by the name of "Bone Daddy" and it struck me that it just might not be as feminine as the other one. If she went home smelling of man, it might confuse her parents (Another well known fact: Parents don't think. They identify EVERYTHING by smell, and act on instinct.) and instictively go buy her mens underwear, which happens to have a luggage hull that she had no use for (except maybe storing small round objects. Like socks. Near he nether regions.)
    I left the store, went to the second floor of this unfathomable maze (which is only in the shape of a square! Not hard to be free of. Bad designing if they wish to keep their victims guessing!) and went to a small novelty store, Inside here, I purchased a birthday card that seemed to fit something I would like her to remember me by when she is old and reflecting:
    "Let's see, in dog years you'd now be...
    ... dead"
    I started to leave the store, when someone approached me. This person seemed to recognize me from past exploits.
    "Hello (name omitted for my safety, from here on in, I am YOU), what's up?"
    "Not much, getting a birthday gift for (name of girl omitted cuz I want to cuz i am a bitch, from here on in will be reffered to as NFSKOHFOIW)."
    "Awesome!"
    conversation about music ensues.
    conversation about music ends.
    "YOU, that's awesome! Hey, tell NFSKOHFOIW I wish her a happy birthday!"
    "Sure. I hafta go now! My magnificent steed awaits me in front of this infernal palace!"
    "Alright, ride safely, you dark wizard of chaos, and TAKE SOULS WHERE YOU FIND THEM FRESH!!!" (YES, she DID say that, and you can't tell me otherwise!!!)
    I left and went to the front of the structure (I am running out of words that replace "mall"!) and hopped into the white wagon.
    "Dad, the van is dirty. It needs a cleanin! AND STOP HITTING THE PILS OF SNOW!!!"
    "NEVER!!!! FOR I AM MIGHTY AND YOUNG (68 is NOT young!) AND HAVE THE REFLEX OF THE MIGHTY KANGAROO!"
    And that he did, for the van never jumped so high as when he was piloting it.
    I returned home, safely away from the madness that is the marketplace, now in my cellar, among the screaming of the doomed souls I harnass so well.
    "FUCKER!!! I R0XX0R YOUR C0XX0R AS CHIPP!"
    "SOL BADGUY WILL KICK YOUR ASS!"
    "EAT THIS"
    MAD fucking combo ensues...
    ... and doesnt end!
    "I OWN YOU!!!"
    "I'LL KICK YOUR NUTS SO HARD YOU WILL CRY!!! BLOOD! CRY BLOOD!"
    mad nut kicking ensues, and all is well. (I am the one kicking nuts... and winning Guilty Gear X)
    Du End 
  • New shit is new! 2002-12-07 20:14:36 I went to a computer show and sale. And I got shit! lots of shit.
    To start with, I now have a printer/copier/scanner/fax machine that will kick your printer/copier/scanner/fax machine's ass! I also BOUGHT a prgogram that can make music and music videos really easily, or at least it says. But it doesn't work. Fuck the man!(*shakes fist at heavens to offend the god of bad programs!*) Also got other shit that won't mean anything to you, so I won't tell you. Then I saw people that act adult become chidlren with big fucking guns shoot at one another in the deepest pits of hell! (parents are funny when fighting) HOLES! BLEEDING HOLES!!! Anyways, I will have my web comic up SOON now (really soon!) and be submitting art. And if I get that damned music thing to work, I will submit stuff. Cool stuff. That NO ONE will like! Awesome! Then I can be cool and will use Lincoln Park in my videos which means htat everyone will like them to hell! 
  • OMGLOLDBR 2002-12-06 23:21:47 Oh my god laugh out loud dont be retarded.
    Anyways, my brother and I just ruined another forum site. I didn't really want to go to far with it, but HE went nucking futs!!! He posted goatse and tubgirl in every forum 10 times and I just sat there and watched. Funny thing is, I almost regret it, for they don't have any troublemakers there, and when I shared my humor with them, they actually thought it was funny. Back to other shit. I am going to buy a gift for a friend of mine for her birthday! I never do anything like this, so it will be cool (or utterly fucked up). She never gets presents anyways. No one feels the love. Ever. Ever. I shall get her cool shit. I tried making you guys a video, and I realize that I am not good enough at it. It will take time. I will probably ending up working with Kamoc to make it. It will r0xx0r your c0xx0r! Other shit are happening in deez nutz 2! I also MAKE music on my comp and when me network be fixin its shit, I shall make videos with it and have it submitted all over the fuggin net. Yes. That is all for now. 
  • A NEW WORLD RECORD!!! 2002-12-02 21:38:26 It has been a while since I even decided to look at this thingymabobofdoomnuggetinmyasshole. I have been banned. 5 TIMES!!! A RECORD!!! Or so I believe anyways. What is the source of this asslancing madness? For starters, all the dumb fucks that drop messages in the Mod Drop Box saying "THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END AND I HATE MYSELF AND I AM ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE!!!...
    and ban Hungrycrackpot.". I think I shall relieve this madness by the use of a disguise! But I am not original enough for that. Apparently I am a temjin wannabe, though I truely couldn't give a shit what you say about it. I would have been doing this sooner if I didn't keep mixing up www.animemusicvideos.org with www.animemusicvideos.com. Plus the fact that live chat rooms were always seemingly more fun.
    Well, I type too much and my head explodes, so I cut short here. I seem to be the second most hated thing next to Satan. Good night, sleep tight, DON'T WET THE FUCKING BED!!! 
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