-
Once more I sit back
2003-01-20 19:58:11
Ah, and here i go again
Pleasure off, turn on the pain
Like a broken record song
As it drags me further on
The shade spots flare
The sun is there
I am burned and no one cares
Walking waking from the dream
Nothing is as it would seem
And where would I decide to go
If caught in my own overflow?
Things are misty, a smoking haze
Drifting through these endless days
-
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!
2003-01-17 15:14:55
I just read one of the best books that is both nonfiction and really well done. It has political problems explained and come to life, the way to use different herbs and natural things, and confronting problems such as rape and the oppresson of different sexualities and races....it was very powerfully written and would teach you of the different sheep-like mentalities that we are supposed to follow to be easily controlled by the white, males in power...that it encompasses all races/sexes (even other white male who are powerless and not corrupt). When she says "white males," she is meaning the greedy bastards that we hate so much, who take money from the poor and spend it on the rich. Or the media who puts up the models and actresses we hate and love so much, when it's really the media's fault. If we allow ourselves to think other women are better or worse, then we are divided and easily conquered by our hatred. We must mobilize together and destroy the stupid and foul people who try and control humanity!! We all need to get rid of the nuclear weapons. We need to get rid of the warring and stupid people that have trodden on all the helpless and weak and peaceful. We are peaceful, but we are also in need of taking charge and wiping out the evil people...every single one..there are less of them than there are of us. Evil is in many ways as arbitrary as love, but anyone who puts personal gain in front of people; someone who will make others fight the wars that are between them for obscure power reasons...that is what evil is to me. (as well as the merciless killing of people for no other reason other than a passing whim or to dispell fear)
Some people in power kill children through cutting their parent's welfare and leaving them in the streets to starve. That is no less malicious than killing people because of the way they look (as the LAPD is famous for) and who the hell was the only country to drop the atomic bomb on another country???
ANSWER: the UNITED-FUCKING-STATES!
And we just sit in front of the stupid tv , getting our brains turned to mush by "the Bachelor" and news that really doesn't tell half of the actual shit going on in the world because they are being bribed and paid off by a corrupted government that wants to manipulate our feelings and points of view whichever way that they can. Our society is being corroded by molestation and rape of the people and the land we live on, which is sure to come back and bite us hard in the ass. And face it, people, we're living in a world that is like high school, the rich ones with the rich parents get in power and screw everything up for the rest of us. But we don't do anything because we think that nothing can be done. DUH! Think about it, idleness is your worst enemy...apathy is the sword with which they will slay and murder.
And a lot of you think that this is all just paranoid people saying things to undermine the government...but the truth is, that if the government WAS working to the benefit for all, we wouldn't have so much secrecy and misuse of power. There wouldn't be exploitation and pay offs and loopholes that only rich people can use. If government worked, this country would be much better, but , let's face it, it doesn't work that well at all.
The two things you can do in this society are as follows: (sorry about swear words)
1)Fuck other people over faster and more efficiently than they fuck you over
2)Whore (which means using your body/intellect/other skills for money)
ok, so what does that lead us to? A destructive society like a snake eating away at it's tail until, eventually, it dies. Do we want to keep this up? Like a runaway train that we can stop before it crashes? Are we really as masochistic as to believe that we must zoom to our destruction; that there is no cure?
The answer is: CHANGE.
Change your life in any way you can, from the way you treat and perceive others, to the way that you treat and perceive yourself. Only then, can we start to heal the wounds that we have left untreated for so so long. It's all up to you. Love. Care for another, even if you aren't obligated. Even someone who's different is so much like you are. Trust one another and scorn the stupid people. Don't let them be in power. Destroy what they can take from you rather then let them exploit and ruin it. For only together in this, can we make a difference. Only together can we avoid the stagnatation that society has been mired in for so long. It's up to you to decide what you want.
Ok. That's all for now. -
some rhyming poetry (for a change)
2003-01-16 12:27:07
I have two running, mindless feet,
Restless they seem to stay,
How come they want to run so fast?
And do they know the way?
Whenever I have decisions
My feet do the talking
I seem to be the one who runs
As my brain is walking.
I haven't ever seemed to listen
I had no attention to pay
I didn't want to be "everyone else"
I wanted to find MY way
How can i find my destined path?
How can i learn to stay?
Where does one find their confidence
How will i find the way?
Whenever I truly tried to speak
They jeered and swore at me
Why is it you must act unique
But still the same must be?
Please help me learn myself
I hope that someone hears
My feet control me as I move
Running blindly through the years. -
Angel (or angle?)
2003-01-13 21:30:49
I got a package in the mail from Gemma! (Me so happy!)
{does freakish happy-dance that looks like bad DDRing}
She sent me some really cute stuff along with an angel pin thing...and although I am not a religious person, I will put it on my backpack as a mascot! Heehee....Thanx for the letter, Gemma, your art kicks ass! (TRIGUN TRIGUN TRIGUN!!!!!) WT!
Ok, enough for now. Maybe I'll hang onto this stupid wad of dirt for awhile longer. -
Meaning of Moi
2003-01-13 16:27:11
Today was the first day of classes and I almost decided to kill myself. Not because I'm depressed or anything, just because I feel that I've stagnated and become another drone-like substitute of a human being. I'm no longer motivated to do anything. i feel like I'm being choked by routine and there are so many people better than me, always better. I feel like inferior people must die, but who are inferior? And who decides? After all, everything is relative to an opinion. I sometimes get this way, losing my grip on reality and letting life slip from my grasp. Someone else can do all these hard things...I'm not good enough. There is, however, a small and futile part of me grasping insanely to life, saying ," I must be the best! I must keep going to prove I can do it!" It is very odd though, like it's a detached part of me. Maybe I'm sick. Maybe I'm ceasing to exist little by little. I feel invisible. No one sees me. They look through me. Ah, but this too is a meaningless opinion. Wish for God or the sentient deity to strike everyone down for me so I wouldn't be responsible. But then again, if everyone is God and we try to find the meaning of life in our own sewage, we will stagnate as I have.
I want to break free from this tightly wound ball of woe. I want to reach through it and pierce its lying membrane. But it holds me fast, and i cannot breathe. Will I dream of death? Or live?
JOURNAL: Oni-Angel ([Sha] )
Current server time: Nov 16, 2025 01:58:29