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Need..Sleeep..
2002-03-27 23:37:44
I've been running low on sleep lately. My brother took over the computer for a good ammount of time today, so I wasn't really able to finish any of the uploads. I'm about 75 percent done on my Gundam videos now. Hopefully I'll be able to finish this one by noon this morning. After that I'm hoping that I can finish my FF7 one by about mid-afternoon. I'll probably start my Final Fantasy VIII upload tomorrow night. It probably won't end until Friday morning. By Friday afternoon, I should have my website updated and my video links back up on here.
I was just kick/banned out of an RPG on mIRC. I'm really pissed off now. I hate really snotty people. I just posted something really funny in one of my channels. Then I get kicked because the damn op said I was advertising. I did it because I wanted to show the RPG that the guy was asking to be a character for. Then I told the freaking op off and I got kick/banned. I don't really care about that channel anyway. All of the ops are really snotty people. I have to say this. I hate everyone who is really ignorant. I hate that jbone kid, TRZ or whatever the hell he uses his initials for. They act very high and mighty, because they think that they know everything. I just really hate those kind of people. Geez, this is just pissing me off even more. I freaking hate this entire world. I can't wait for my death.
Sephiroth -
Bad Week..
2002-03-27 05:56:32
Well, it's only Wednesday, but I can already sense that this is a bad week. It's spring break, but it's the most horrible spring break ever. I know that it's a good thing that I've finished my music video, but uploading it is a bitch. I've been sending my videos through mIRC, so my friend had to DCCAllow me to send him the zip file. I was planning to stay up all night, so I could send it to him. But the problem is that once you reconnect, which I have to do since I have MSN Internet Access, you get a new IP. Now I can't send him the zip file, because mIRC thinks that it's a virus. He just has to DCCAllow me again, but he's not there. He was sleeping, when I tried last night. I tried again just now, and still nothing. He's probably gone to school, since he's in Canada and their March break is already done and over with. I'm now sending him my Final Fantasy VII music video, To The Limit. mIRC will allow MPEG files to be sent, so that's good. I know that I can get at least one of my music videos done.
In the night I went to sleep around 1am and woke up at about 7:30am. I'm not really tired, but my entire body aches from sleeping. I knew that I shouldn't have slept any. This is just a very bad week for me. I'm glad that it's halfway over with already. I feel so dead right now, like my brain isn't really working to its potential. My body feels useless, because it really hurts my hands when I type. I hope that I don't have arthritus at age 16. It would suck considerably. I haven't shaved in over a week, since it's spring break. I'm not really the person that goes out a lot. I like to just stay at home and play. I don't really care for my so-called friends. I know that people don't really care about each other, so why I should be any different. I'm only a human. I really wish I wasn't though. For some reason, I just got the feeling that I like the way humans think. Their minds jump from one thought to the next, never really concentrating on the task at hand. They always get off track and start doing other things. I like that; I don't know why, but I like that.
Well, I got past the sea serpent in Final Fantasy IX. I'm in Burmecia now, trying to find the King. I can predict that it's going to be one hell of a battle with the idiots, Thorn and Zorn. I really like the way that they talk. I want to try to talk like them in Physics class. It would really piss off the professor. He can get so annoyed. I had my hand raised up for no reason one day, meaning that it was just up in the air leaning against my head. I didn't have a question; it was just up there. Everyone was laughing at it, and it really distracted the teacher. It was so funny. I'm hoping that I can beat the entire first disc before the end of spring break. That would be a real achievement. -
Uploading Videos
2002-03-26 22:01:50
Okay, well, I asked my friend, who isn't that close, to host my videos on his FTP. He said he wouldn't but wouldn't keep it up 24/7, more like most of the day. I'm alright with that. It'll be even better once Pop's server comes back and BAMVC is back for hosting. Pretty mucht eh only thing that I've been doing all day is uploading my music videos. Right now I'm uploading my first 5 music videos ever. They're pretty much the Gundam ones. 3 of them are about 20MB, while the other 2 are about 30MB. It's a total of 120MB that I'm sending to my friend. I really wish I had a cable modem right now. I've gotten aboiut 30 percent of it done, but still have about 10 hours to go before those are done. Then I have to upload my Final Fantasy music videos. It's a total of 110MB, so I'll be spending another 12 hours uploading that. But in the end, I'm guessing it worth it. Having my videos up for even most of the day is a lot better than no hosting at all, which is pretty much my current situation. I'll hopefully have my Gundam music videos done by noon tomorrow. Once I get that done. I'll spend about 5 hours of my afternoon uploading my Final Fantasy ones. Then I'll probably spend 6 hours of the night doing the same. I'll probably won't finish until Friday morning. I have yet to update my website. I have to add the new video and links. Well, I guess that takes care of my situation.
I'm sorry for all of the commotion that I made yesterday. I didn't commit suicide as many of you thought. What I really meant by "lying down and die" was that I would just stop making music videos. My friends convinced me to keep doing what I love. I guess my anime music video career continues as I learn more and more about myself and the world. I guess something good did come out of it all. As many of you have probably figured out, I'm suicidal. I'm very suicidal. In 8th grade, I tested for an 80 percent suicide rate. Now in 10th grade, I've tested myself for a 25 percent suicide rate. It's still higher than a lot of people's though. I don't know why I think like this. It's just that I've been held up for so long, music, videos, and all of this is my life now. I have nothing else to bear. If I lose this, then I've lost all hope.
Sephiroth - Finished..but more problems still... 2002-03-25 19:57:28 Okay, this just freaking sucks! I finished my video! I spent at least 10 hours today just doing that! I'm having a problem with following ErMaC's guide for my music video to be encoded in MPEG using TMPGEnc. That's not really the problem. That's easily fixed. The problem is that my video probably won't be available for everyone. My web host is backing out, because he says that he doesn't want to host big files. My videos are only 200MB total, and he has over 30GB of space. He's just being an arrogant little brat. He's not my friend anymore. He said something that I thought I would never hear again. I really feel like killing myself now. I need someone..to comfort me... I can't send people my video. I don't have any money for a host. This just sucks so much. I've asked a couple other friends to host it, but there's no gareentee. I'm thiking that I won't be able to get my music videos hosted until I get a job. Then there's the problem that I won't be able to get other music videos done with work and all. I won't have time for all of my friends then. This just sucks. It's a great music video. It's my MARK as an amateur editor! I have no host. What's the use of making music videos if no one will be able to see them!? I should just give up! That's it! I give up! I will not video edit EVER again. I just give up! I will never look at another anime music video ever again. It's useless without a host. Why did I even try? Just forget it. I don't care anymore. I'm going to cry. I have to get a job now. Then I won't have time for my friends. I won't have time to make more music videos. I won't have I'm just giving up. After over a year of vide editing, I finally realized that it's just useless. You'll never make it into the big leagues without money. You might as well just give up! Everything is dependent on money. It's the real thing that anyone really cares about. You might as well kill your own husband or wife to claim the insurance money. You might as well break your hand at work. You might as well get into a car accident to claim the insurance money from your car. You can burn your house down! You can do anything you want! The main thing is that you want money! That's all you want! You don't want anything else in the world! You think that you can buy yourself happiness! Everyone thinks like it! Don't try to fool yourself into believing something else. You know that it's true. If you don't have money, you're a nobody. You might as well as lay down and die! Just like I'm going to do right now!
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Aaaalmooooost done.....Aw crap, not quite!
2002-03-25 06:36:51
Okay, well, I thought I was going to finish yesterday, but I just didn't. I'm gonna work for about 3 or 4 hours straight right now to see if I can get it done. That won't mean that I've exported the last file though. It just means that I've exported the video that I have to convert to MPEG for the final distribution. I actually went backwards at the very end, because I know how it ends, but I don't know the 45 seconds between that. I know that I haven't used a couple of the scenes from the game, so it shouldn't be too hard. This is definitely going to be my best music video so far by far! I'm making my mark as an amatuer with this music video. I was editing for one year as a newbie, and now I'm going to be an amatuer!
Okay, well, yesterday I got Quina in Final Fantasy IX. I have to say that I like the was she eats. She eats the thing, and then takes its powers. Kind of reminds me of MegaMan. MegaMan is so cool. I wish that I had an arm that would change into a gun, throw snakes, rocks, fire, and everything else at people. Everyone would obey me then! I'm about to go through that grotto or whatever. This will definitely be an adventure. I'll probably play it after I've exported my final AVI product. Okay, well, I better get to work!
Sephiroth
JOURNAL: SephirothJenova (Marquise Strife)
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