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2005-07-14 17:31:57
Welp looks like im back to my journal...i feel like i write too much..oh well..
Though dracon has sworn to destroy me..I cn't fell it..besides the fact that i cant get a hold of Dante.. I feel pretty relaxed today..bored as hell but relaxed..
i cant wait till school. (not reall) cuz then i can get Drivers-ed over w/ and then at the end of this year get my license. Damn its gonna be great..
the only other reason why i want school to start is 2nd Semester 8th Hour i have Computers and Robotics...i get to build mini-robots and take apart computers....what a dream come true..
Well i better get goign just in case dante is trying to call..im gonna go draw and then maybe if anyones interested..post the llinks to them again... Just let me know if u r..
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MISTAKES;
I meant 12:00 pm i was gonna check my messages..not A.M... -
Final journal for the night...
2005-07-14 01:03:03
Well this is my final journal for the night..im exaughsted..but im gonna end up staying up and drawing or writing...
I'll fall asleep at some odd time in the Morning..then wake up at like 7-8 am...and not be able to go back to sleep..for abotu an hour i'll ask myself why the hell am i awake...and then get up very pissed off and walk around the house...
i'll prob check my mail at 12:00 am to see if i got a message back from Dante abotu Mall of America on Friday...and if not then oh well guess my plans r screwed and im stuck w/ my sis and bro for the day trip...
But forget about friday it would still be thursday...i'll prob draw w/ no hope and trash it..then try to once again call in for a stupid radio contest. Either way im gonna be bored outta my f'n mind...
I know that this sounds liek the life of a lazy person..but i can't really do much anyhting..when my dad gets home we r painting my room thas it... otherwise..i dunno...i'd walk the street again but then i'd be too exaughsted to walk around the mall the next day....
Damn it... i've got that feeling again..i don't want it..the feeling i have accomplished nothing..i worked so hard on my room and its like ti never even happened...why..why do i have to have this stupid pain in my heart.. *slashes out at nearest object, then falling to knees sobs*
I'm better then this.....
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* Dracon looks above at the writing that stood out clearly on the leaves in which her trench coat was sifting through. Reading the words, heart filling w/ more darkened memories, it was Autumn in this world, far beyond the minds darkest thoughts. And among the leaves were the words of these journal pages, written in only the language in which she could read. HEr heart only sinks deeper as she kicks the leaves*
D: I won't go back....
* A small voice pierces through the darkness, shuttering like the voice of a lost hologram, staticky*
*voice* D..please..go back...go back D...
D: Forget it..U r dead..and u know it...u shouldn't have to reprogram urself for her sake..let her become confused..let her be torn apart....
*voice* ppl..pl..ease...D..tha..ts..not..tru..e..she..created..u...
D: NO SHE DID NOT! SHE MAY HAVE CREATED MY FORM BUT I CREATED WHO I AM! AND THEY CHANGED ME!! EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO'S BETRAYED ME HAS CHANGED ME!!! MY FORM MEANS NOTHING TO ME!!! CROW SHE KILLED YOU!! she KILLED you..
* a broken picture of Crow stands now in front of Dracon, surrounded by a light hazey fog, cracking and sputtering as if her holographic range was in malfunction*
Crow: I..I..am..nn..o..longer...dead..D..
Dracon: Crow you can not even stand straight..you r nothing but data that has been shattered...
Crow: She did not kill me Dracon....we..cc..could..have..fixe..d..this..but..u left...and..the..weight..was..put on...me....
Dracon: What?
Crow: ..D...Com..e..back....
Dracon: r u..sayin...g.I killed you?
Crow: He..lp...D..Help..me..put,...myself..together..once more...
* D sadly looks to the ground, realizing that this indeed was the truth*
D: Crow..i'm..so..sorry...
C: it's..nn..o..tt..ur..ff..au.lt..
D: Yeah it is...Crow..i..killed u..how can..i ever help u....* glares at the ground, black mist rising around her, a low growl emits from her* What have i done.... I shall never go back..for i can never be forgiven...
Crow: U..already..h..hav..e..beeen...
* Crows program terminates, leaving Dracon alone in the wind, w/ a deep pain throbbing through her. She looks up to the sky*
Dracon: U SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED ME U IDIOTIC FOOL!!! U SHOULD HAVE TORN CROW AWAY FROM U AND HELD THE PAIN UR F'N SELF UNTIL U FOUND ME!!! I DID NOT KILL HER U DID IT URSELF!!!!!!!!AND I SHALL NEVER LET U GET AWAY WITH THIS..U WILL PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* She screams, darkness emitting from her and consuming the area within, adding to its fear, its pain, and losing itself within*
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-_-; Meh...oyz..
2005-07-13 17:18:10
I just looked back on my journal and realized this....
Who the hell is gonna read all that....
So figuring out its pointless to make long entries not knowing if anyone reads them or just opens my journal to see I dunno... ( Hey who knows they may just be clicking on the wrong name)
So im just gonna leave it to C and D....go ahead u guys.... I've said what i had to and i'll try not to bore anymore...
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" A life hidden among the shadows, who lives there in the depths of invisibility, feared by all for its darkness. A life scarred by the world that is so cruel, is a life in which no one has given a chance to show its true beauty; A beauty in which to go on w/out could mean the world would know not what it means to Live..." - The Shadowbird.
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Continued... (this is like the 5th time i have to do this one..sept this time its just copying and pasteing..yeah i thought ahead this time)
2005-07-13 16:07:33
Ok..Here Goes..I decided im gonna rant again, then i'll go ahead and bring Crow and Dracon back for those who at all cared to read what they did..whenever i can..
And Heres two links that go to 2 pics i did...
DemiDevimon ( 2:00 am..7/12/05)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v396/LonewolfDragon/DemiDev.bmp
DemiVeemon and Salamon ( 3:00am 7/12/05)
I have never drawn Salamon before thats why she is so off looking...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v396/LonewolfDragon/Demiheart.bmp
......The Rant.
Ok Look if i could..or should i say if my computer could handle it i'd download AMV's like crazy and review on everyone of them even..if they were not as good as i thought they might be I wouldn't care, i'd still watch it and review on it. I couldn't lie to them..but if u look closely EVERY video has some sort of potential. EACH has its own " good" to it..even if its small..just putting the enthusiasm in to make an AMV is good enough. I have only seen one AMV video and it wasn't from here..but i know how awsome they can be.. ( 3 Doors Down; Kryptonite: Final Fantasy umm i forgot which one....)
Even if u don't like the vid..give them some HELPFUL advice..maybe show them something they could change to make it better. Remember a lot of people put their best into Vids..and we have all made some mistakes.
Why the hell do u guys have to sit here and hack them down..I mean sure people say.." Say what u want..I don't care..." But after a while..words can get to u. I should know...I draw..and some of my pictures if not most really suck. And i've had people tell me..oh boy did they tell me.... At first i just retaliated w/ I don't care..its just a stupid drawing..then over time i wanted to draw less because i knew i could never get anything to look right..it took me a while before I started to realize that i really DIDN't care what they said..cuz at a first glance..i can see what i like and dislike about my pictures..and work on it.
I remember one day i had my first ever drawing book with me, and i took it to school. I showed some people, people i knew drew better then me..they just wanted to see it..yeah they said..*sarcastic* yeah those r O.K.. and walked away laughing to eachother.
I had did my best w/ those..so i just walked away..but it soon got to me..and i did something i really regret doing...that night on the school bus home... I
I ripped all the pictures in my drawing journal to pieces...hatred was strong and i just, ripped and ripped...Only one drawing survived...and a few got away w/ only being ripped once...but man..*sigh* It sucked..i now have the drawings in a plastic bag....instead of a journal.
People in this world r so cruel sometimes..they don't understand that when we want to Draw..or write..or even make AMV's and Banners We put a lot of effort into it..specially if we r looking to get some people to notice it...
Yeha we want criticizim...but we don't want ur foul cocky sensless Trashy words against us. I dn't even make AMVs or banners and im still like that. Sure if people have advice i'd like to hear it unless its on something they know i use as a trademark for my own style. But i don't want them to just sit there and flame everything i just worked for...
Using a computer to make something is a lot of work.. I know cuz i've made a website..and i'm also working w/ a 3D animation program at the moment as an experiment. Not to mentionI am able to draw outline skeches, scan them in the computer, and using a simple paint program..( not really simple bu; Microsoft Picture It!) I can just finish it there...
W/ one of the suckiest computers cuz my Sis trashed it...its hard..I mean i worked like for 3 hrs straight once...and my comp shutdown..w/out saving....I was so pissed i had to wait 3 days before i could work on it again...just thinking of the program pissed me off.
So with all that said and done..theres the last few things....
JUST PLAIN SHUTUP!!!!!!! The One(s) that know im talking about them.. yes u..the good for nothing one(s) who just sit around all day going on and on about lousy Vids...if u think they r so lousy STOP WATCHING THEM!!! If u think u r so great..and better then everyone..Go into a contest and prove it..if u make it on top well then..either the judges were on crack or ur good...If u make it in the middle...Then u still have a lot to learn..and should learn it from others..not shut others down.. And if u make it below..Its cuz u were too busy Ranting about how other peoples Vids suck and how everyone is copying u..that u couldn't get a decent Vid in.
A Lot of people could agree w/ me on all this..but they don't have to.. or make no mention of it...but go ahead..say what u want..im in no alliance w/ anything/anyone here...if i ever do..then watch ur back because If i ever do becoem friends w/ anyone here... then u should know..u mess w/ them..and u will get all..and i mean ALL ur shit back, x10 back in ur face because u can say all the shit about me u want..but when it comes to my friends.. *growlz*
Laterz
Shadowbird Crow
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Errr im sick of this...
2005-07-13 01:13:46
All i have to say to all those people who just can't plain shutup..i do not have a clue why the heck i go through their journals still but
SHUT THE HECK UP!!! U know who the heck u guys r cuz u U just Do!! UR THOSE IDIOTIC FREAKS WHO CAN'T SEEM TO SAY ONE THING DECENT....
A LOT of people on this site r awsome..and normal...well not normal..but great.. i don't talk to a lot if any people on this site..but from the journals i can tell...you know how much of a disgrace u r to those who actually do there best trying to be polite here..or actually trying there best to make an AMV or a Banner that they r pleased w/..but u guys just shoot them down..
If dang it my comp is shutting down..ill finish tomorrow...
JOURNAL: ShadowbirdCrow (Crow Shadowbird)
Current server time: Sep 22, 2025 04:31:15