JOURNAL: ShadowbirdCrow (Crow Shadowbird)

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  • Continued2..(To Sammy..To Those Who Don't Understand, and To Myself...) 2005-07-17 04:33:32 Against my judgement i thought it would all together be fair if atleast u knew which journal entrys in which I lashed out at things or u personally in.
    The Entrys r just in my journal at random...i don't know exactly where they r..
    Journal Entry Name;

    To Sammy...To Those who..etc. (( In this entry which is the entry below i wish to just close my stupidity..i did not mean to lash *bows head* ))

    Continued....(This is like the 5th time i've written this...etc.

    Err... I'm Sick of This.

    Another Out of It

    Apart From My Self Chat (((Silenced No More)))



    I'm sorry for my irrogance..and my stupidity..I do not wish to make enemys..and i do not wish to pick sides...

    Please Forgive me U Guys...
    Shadowbird Crow
     
  • To Sammy..To Those Who Don't Understand, and To Myself... 2005-07-17 03:31:14 *sigh* Loneliness gets deeper here..as i sit here and listen to these pathetic journal wars over Sammy..

    This is what I don't understand..unfourtanitly I could have burried him badly tonight, for once i would have actually given refrence to the one who inspired such journal entries as
    Silenced No More...and others... but the matter is my comoputer shut down at the end of the entry so i could not enter it
    Maybe it was for the better..so though i am pissed at my comp..i will put it in short.

    Sammy u obviously know that there r some on this site that u do in fact do not hate. Well good for u.
    But here's the thing..
    Why do u hate at all?
    Hate is such a strong word and should only be used by those who have felt true hatred by being hated. Obviously by the way u put
    ur journals..u know how this feels..so u have the right to say it whenever and to whomever right?
    No i'm sorry to tell you..but ur privledge was taken away when u started using hate as a petty word that is said only for
    pure pleasure towards others reaction.Hate is something that u feel..not that u just say.. and obviously sense u do take other peoples words into account
    u do not really feel hate...only dislike.

    But heres the catch...A lot of people r so disliked, and have been around people that hurt them so much, that even the littlist
    hint of annoyance towards them from another person...sends them into unbarable pain. They feel they r worthless because they cannot
    even talk to a single person w/out feeling as though they have only been waisting that persons time. Even jokes hurt...

    Ever here the saying " Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.."

    Well against anything anyone has ever told u..Thats pure B.S. for words are the largest stick, or stone of them all. They peirce the soul, the heart.
    Words stay in the mind...while bruises can easily just vanish...How many stones..how many sticks do u think u've thrown sense u've been here?
    Yeah people say" Whatever ur just some guy..I don't listen to you lalalalala" well they r just shitting w/ u. No matter what those words will get to them.
    Bet ur proud of that now aren't u..

    You've inspired so much of My journal entries such as Silenced No More..About Telling people like u to shutup so that others can put in a few words..but it wasn't just u
    So many poeple have lashed out at u in their journals, just as u lashed out back at them..and now people r finally startign to get the point that thats what ur lookign for..
    and r starting to react more calmly..wise. And the calmer they get, the more responisive u r. Thats great it means ur starting to understand...we hope..
    But I have done soemthing in the beginning of my journal..I have..sadly...lashed out as well. But in a sense in a different way. I did not lash out at u..i lashed out at the people like u
    I am sorry for this..For lashing back would only to become one w/ what is lashed at.

    For once look around and actually think before u say something..Don't use hate as if it were a game..to be hated is not a goal one should want to accomplish..
    Hate only brings forth more pain. The More Shit u give..the more shit will hit u at the end.
    So before finally that trash gets to u..hope u learned that if u really want there ARE people out there who r willing to forgive... Why do u wish to create urself as the enemy..when u could be an allie

    Im not saying u have t change who u r..im just saying watch what u say. Learn that if u want to say soemthing..say it..btu don't be so joking and immature about it. If u really mean it..
    Make them believe it...

    Finally...Hate...U don't feel hatred..trust me..u'll know when u feel hatred..for I have felt it most of my life. Not towards a single person though..only..towards myself... I just reflect it
    as if this world is the one who puts me through it.

    Forgive my stupidity...for my past posts of ranting about people of annoyance. I have only realized im doing what i wish to stop...

    - The Shadowbird Crow
    ( ps sorry for the spelling mistakes...my comps an ass..) 
  • ERROR 2005-07-17 02:15:47 Err i made a mistake again

    " Lonely? Find all the company u need." And then it sby the AMV sign
     
  • Banner 2005-07-17 02:14:22 Funny...its a cute and beautifully made Banner..but it seemse so untrue. As i type this right now there is a banner that says

    " Lonely? Find all the Company u need..then its by the AMV sign.."

    Its very beautiful, and i find it very well created. The background is great and i wish i could congratz whoever its creator was to tell them its awsome..

    but I find..though i am at AMV,...I am still lonely... anyone else feel the same? 
  • *Sigh* *Wishing You Were Here* 2005-07-17 01:47:02 I knew i said I wouldn't bore u guys anymore..but i have to write.. please forgive me.. *sigh*

    I miss Tamer...
    I thought he'd just be away from the computer...but turns out he's in a totally diff state from his orignal. It makes him seem even farther away..

    I feel so alone..

    AT first u think.. She's a Shadow, Loneliness is welcomed and hoped for..
    Where'd u hear that shit from..The library, The Internet? Well if thats true then they r lying to u...or they r a different breed...

    Loneliness is what angers, and kills a lot of Shadows...it brings depression, and rage, and hatred....it brings pain..and tears..and the longing for death...
    Its what makes a lot of shadows...the type of Shadow that they r.. or a Shadow at all...

    Yes To be alone and away from crowds does bring comfort..but loneliness is a totally different subject..to be away from people, to be away from what u hate..is welcomed..

    For me...I am alone, but not lonely.... For I have another Shadow to help me find who I am..and he did...As i helped him find things about who he is.

    But now..I feel utterly alone...more lonely... for I cannot speak to him... for i wake up in the morning knowing i can't see him..but can talk to him...but not these days... for he has been unable to speak to me for the past 3 days. Hes away. And wont be back till Tuesday..

    I love him..what can i say that is stronger, what better words r there to describe how i feel for him except words that have not yet been created or do not exist....

    Tamer ur my boyfriend...and though u may not read this... I Love u. I knwo I tell u every moment I can...but no matter what happens I Love You..and will always Love you..Beyond always and forever..

    * Wishing u were here* *sigh* Tuesday seems like forever...and i have no one to talk to till then...

    Please be safe Tamer... make it home...

    " To My Love;
    Someday came.., I met u, I spent time with u..it was everything i dreamed.., I was able to wake up in the mornings and talk to u, ur kind heart is more beautiful then any creation..and though Someday has passed and once again u r gone....The Next Someday is what keeps me going....You keep me here.."

    - Yours Beyond Always and Forever
    Crow

     
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