- 2005-06-16 04:32:26 My mother died three days ago
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2005-06-10 06:22:23
My mother is sick with cancer and I'm told she probably wont recover from it. My father left three years ago, from what my mother tells me, and I'm told he is no longer in this country. I am alone without anyone to talk to. I am dying inside and will be dead soon from the grief of this, I ask myself why? But receive no answer, when my mother passes away I will be alone in this world.
Mama Said Lyrics
by Metallica
1, 2
1, 2, 3, 4
Mama she has taught me well
Told me when I was young
Son, your life’s an open book
Don’t close it ‘fore it’s done
The brightest flame burns quickest
Is what I heard her say
A son’s heart’s owed to mother
But I must find my way
Let my heart go
Let your son grow
Mama let your heart go
Or let this heart be still
Rebel my new last name
Wild blood in my veins
Apron strings around my neck
The mark that still remains
Left home at an early age
Of what I heard was wrong
I never asked forgiveness
But what is said is done
Let my heart go
Let your son grow
Mama let my heart go
Or let this heart be still
Never I ask of you
But never I gave
But you gave me your emptiness
I now take to my grave
Never I ask of you
But never I gave
But you gave me your emptiness
I now take to my grave
So let this heart be still
Mama now I’m coming home
I’m not all you wished of me
But a mother’s love for her son
Unspoken, help me be
I took your love for granted
And all the things you said to me
I need your arms to welcome me
But a cold stone’s all I see
Let my heart go
Let your son grow
Mama let my heart go
Or let this heart be still
Let my heart go
Mama let me heart go
You never let my heart go
So let this heart be still
Never I ask of you
But never I gave
But you gave me your emptiness
I now take to my grave
Never I ask of you
But never I gave
But you gave me your emptiness
I now take to my grave
So let this heart be still - ... 2005-06-04 05:33:21 I have been temporarely lifted out of my depression. I did something today, something happy I guess. It has made me slightly unsad and so life at the moment seems bareable, until I think about tommorrow and soon I fall back into my dark unhappy place of fear. While I curl up into a tight ball and dream of another place whilst hopeing to die.
- *sigh* 2005-06-02 06:27:58 Today I threw away an opportunity that was staring me in the face. I was asked to do a survey, one which I was to be paid for and all I had to do was to give my opinion. But instead of going for it, instead of doing something exciting, but instead I said no. Why? I don't know why, maybe it was because I was afraid, afraid of the future probably. Now I feel an overwhelming sensation of regret, I really wish I had of gone for it but for some dumb reason I refused and now I'm feeling really really depressed.
- Still Depressed 2005-05-29 05:02:07 I'm feeling even more depressed today, so I guess I won't right something as long as yesterday. If only I could be pulled out of this hole I'm in. I won't trouble you with what my inner feeelings are so that's all for now.
JOURNAL: lyuii (Lyuii X)
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