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The Power of Rush
2009-02-12 13:46:18
so I have been feeling like crap again... but when I stepped out of my car when I got home I noticed something orange on the ground... lone behold it was the thumbdrive I lost back in November and it has been buried under ice and snow for about 3 months now. So I rush it inside and dry it off then plug the bad boy into my computer, and HUZ-FREAKIN'-ZAH it still works! As I am looking through its contents because I forgot what I had on it I come across a folder with the most recent Rush Greatest Hits album ripped on it. So I crank that shit up and OMG instant good vibrations. I don't know what it is about 1970's power rock music but it always makes me feel better... or is it that Rush just speaks to my soul... if I had a soul... yeah.
@ Beth
I hope you like Rush because I found some audio that fits the theme I was looking for to go to your Wedding Present.
For those of you that don't know who or What I am talking about when I speak of Rush, go to Boochsack and search "Rush - The Spirit of Radio" it will change your life when you reach the Guitar solo if the opening riff doesn't change your life to begin with. - ain't it wonderful 2009-02-10 13:05:52 when one passing thought can make a week of feeling like shit seem like less of a problem. Now I just have to keep from messing this up... Horray for cryptic Journal language!
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Me being Emo-tistic... deal with it
2009-02-09 13:34:34
What the hell is wrong with me?
I still can't get out of my head... I am thinking so much it is actually exhausting me andI don't know how to stop it. I spent all this time in my life building up this support system of friends that I could possibly turn to when the shit finally it the fan and I started to fall apart, and now when it finally happens I realize that most of that system is now to far away for me to actually be able to talk to them face to face. Don't get me wrong I have friends here I can talk to, but they aren't the ones that I go to when this kind of stuff starts to mull in my head.
My entire life I have always had more female friends than male mostly because my personality type leans more towards the Nurture side of human Behavior then the Nature. My Brother once told me I was as he said "the only straight guy on the planet that gets more satisfaction out of cuddling than sex.". I think most of the reason I didn't date in High school comes from the fact that I was to worried about the well being of the girls Was interested in so much so that it was better for me to be there as a friend than a boyfriend, and now when I am truely looking for companionship I keep screwing up because I can't escape my old habits.
If dreams are the window into the mind then why do mine tell me nothing of what the root of all mental strife is, it is if my own subconsious it taunting me to over analyze my life and make me feel sick so much to where I sleep all day and then lie awake all night trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. This Emo-tistic funk I am in isn't good for me I know and venting in text isn't helping much either, because it is the same shit I have been mulling in my head all week so seeing it on a screen isn't doing much for me.
I am in a rut, and I have to find a way out of it but I first need to actually talk to someone face to face who could actually help. It used to be I could just go to camp and see the friends who helped me through all this stuff but now we have all moved on in our lives and live so far away from each other it is difficult, and I miss the support that we as a group had for one another, probably why we called ourselves a cult, because to us not much outside of camp mattered when we were all together.
I know that I will find a way out of all of this it will just take time. hopefully not to much though because I am already near my breaking point, but if I do break it can only go up from there and if it does go deeper then it just means that there has to be a bottom sooner or later and once I reach it I can try to bounce back. -
Wow I am dense
2009-02-06 22:11:31
Misunderstandings suck right? yeah how about when that makes you feel like a jackass because you thought you were dating a girl who misunderstood what you had said and then you are really forward all convention and then when you get home and start talking online again you find out she mistook what you said.
Yeah that is my Ohayocon Experience. on the up side we are still friends and there is still a chance for a relationship in the future just not right now. damn I feel like a jackass.
C'est la Vie is all I can say and hope for the future... Cosmic flow wash me away in your awesome vibes and kickass Euphoria! -
@ Beth
2009-02-03 22:21:59
(I apologize in advance for the profanity)
but I say what the fuck is their problem!? I mean if they are going to let such trivial things stand in the way of your happiness fuck them and start your happy new life with out them seeing a major event in your life. Their reasons from what i have read from here and Facebook seems like a crock of shit and they should get over themselves. But I have probably said to much.
(btw I have all the source I need for your present now so I should have it ready in about 2 months -_^)
Keep the faith girl and don't give up that cheery attitude of yours... I mean if you aren't happy what is the world coming too, really?
JOURNAL: Penstrike (Brandon White)
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