-
Living in the Zoo
2004-05-13 01:58:34
I finished my AMV howeve ri know it needs a whole lot more reworking, whatever I done with the AMV I done by instinct not exactly thinking. Watching it as is I know it wouldn't really stand a chance, not even make final cut. However after a few re edits I think it should be a ok AMV. I have to say its harder than I thought, I haven't truly made a action AMV from scratch since January 2002. Either way I don't know but I will just take it as it comes I guess.
Well here is how my day has gone.
I went to the gym and busted hard in there till I was utterly tired. Went home and waited for Toronto called. I told them what they needed to know and theyt old me what they needed to know however they said they would send me some info, however I haven't gotten it yet. I e-mailed some Grant MacEwan person about upgrading there then maybe getting right into their video editing/production class there. I haven't heard from them yet. Right now it seems its either Grant MacEwan or Toronto. I know Toronto will take me no matter what.
If I decide to go to Toronto I may stay in Fort McMisery for awhile longer till the next course runs along. Worst case scenario, one year. If thats the case I may dump Animethon 11 (or at least appear there) and go right to Toronto. I may want to go to Animethon 11 (I want I always love being there) I dont want to stay in Fort Mac anymore than I have to. I guess it all depends on how things go.
If I go to Grant MacEwan then hey great, I get to go to Animethon then after I will go and upgrade for the few months, then move right into video editing. If not at Grant MacEwan then at Sait.
I think I will take a rest with the AMV making for awhile, till the new Scorpions album is in my hands so I can get that aggression back again.
song of the night: The Zoo by The Scorpions -
88% done the next brain child/some mind waste exposure
2004-05-11 03:37:56
The ideas for this AMV flow like a dam, I never thought about anything but action for this AMV and so far its looking very good. However taking the fact that I am making this too bloody fast. I know I am would be bound to make a mistake somewhere. Once I let instinct finish the AMV I will open back up the paranoid critic that lives inside me and try to add some sanity to this what I call insane AMV that looks more like a speed burst of adrenaline tied by living thread of some transitions (one I doubt has been used often in the AMV, for this one it serves a prupose in dicpiting something, not a special effect mor eor less). Instinct makes the AMV simple complete, my new self just builds upon whatever it feels needs to be done. Weird style but that may be just how I can get this bloody AMV done. I jus thope the ending part is not too violent to be excepted however i doubt it should be a problem I am using an anime thats rated for 12 years and up so I don't think I should be a problem.
If I have enough time I may cook up another AMV, just so at the Animethon people dont think I am a freak through this AMV since I know after this one they will think so. I have another AMV, I planing to be a drama/comedy to a song of the opposite taste to show that yes I am still sane, maybe by a thread but still there. I haven't been this excited making an AMV in a long time I hope it keeps up. Its amazing wha tyou can do when you ar enot thinking about failure. My only mission to be back to how I used to be, one loud (music wise) AMV maker.
However if I feel this AMV I am working on now will take the full month to really make perfect I will do so I can always save up the second one for Anime Evolution 2004, and offer dual AMVs at the contest. Which ever i dont really care.
Its sad I can't be at Otafest I would have loved to se emy AMV and how it would match up against the others. The main part for its that I wont miss Animethon 11, I make sure to mark off at work that I get time off on those days.
I guess I feel like KISS, saying its time to quit more times that I can count. Maybe its a way for me to motivate myself to make a lasting impression and I haven't found that yet. However a friend/co-worker gave me an awesome idea. However I told him I wont do it, at least not until I do Dante's Inferno AMV, if I can do that one then I would go for it. If I can do it then I know it would be time to quit (because after I did it I know I would have people hating me). I guess I just like making long AMVs.
Bat Out Of Hell - Around 9 minutes
Bat Out Of Hell 2 - I am sure I broke the record (at the time) for the longest AMV
I would like to break my own record and maybe make a new one (if someone beat it) using "Dante's Inferno" which is a 16 minute song. Then if I can suceed that then I might as well go for the gusto.
Oh well who knows, this is just my imagination runing wild on me, dont take it to truth at least not right now my mind is completely on two things. Caroline and the AMV I am working on. -
46% done
2004-05-09 02:46:44
I started my AMV and within 2 hours I am nearly half done. I am going to put in a few more things in it and then I will do whatever. I am not saying anything I am practically winging it. Whatever I think of I put in, so far things look ok, a little weird. I am not thinking of anything but the AMV. Hopefully failure wont set in, like before I am going with whatever comes to mind while trying not to be sloppy. However the song I am using is definitely the heaviest I have used in years. Very long time.
-
Meeting metal/Just some self motivation
2004-05-08 04:17:40
Well its decided now that i have practically 1 month to make an AMV I have the anime. Now I am at a cross roads at what song I want to choose. Once I get the idea I am just runing with it and see how far I get with it so honestly. I have alot of choices, I want something that I can distinguish myself from everyone else with at Animethon 11, not to mention something that is in my comfort zone.
I am sick of trying to be something I am not which is trying to use special effects to strive to be different. I have been watching alot of my old AMVs lately to get that "anger" back that I had so easily in those AMVs yet make them much more modern and better for me this time around. Its hard to explain, I feel that I need something with alot of Metal/Rock. For too long I have been listening to others. More or less Rubyeye, I respect his AMVs as a matter of fact i love them and wish my AMVs were like his but striving for that I practically cheated myself and ended up pissing on every AMV idea I had from then on out because they weren't original I put my expectations to high, not to mention paranoia of people not liking the AMV. I know those are the wrong things to think about but the shadow of failure has followed me since childhood and and the current events I have dealt with recently put more nails in the coffin.
Honestly I dont care about being original anymore I feel I proved my point with originality over the years. I have nothing prove anyone now but tomyself that I still have it in me to make a great AMV, at least by my standards and thats all that matters. Take it anyway you want... here is my choices
Halford (Silent Scream, Ressurection)
Monster Magnet (Live For The Moment, Silver Future)
Megadeth (something special, not the name of the song just a surprise if possible)
Drowning Pool (Step Up)
Sheryl Crow (the only non rock thing on this list)(Tomorrow Never Dies)
Fight! (Into The Pit)
SoulFly (Prophecy)
I guess I hate to admit things but "I'm Still Here" I did look as testimate that I am still around, however while making the AMV I didn't think about it I thought about the plot of the AMV. I beleive thats how I should go through this. Lets just hope this old sheep can change its coat, unzip the constume and be the wolf that I know is there still. You can tell this sis self motivation for a guy whose faith right now in himself is as frail and tin foil.
I am blaming no one for anything, if anything I blame myself, I just thank everyone on the forum who has helped me learn a few new tricks not to mention help me with problems since I am a guy who will always be technologically illiterate. I think its time to just let loose from what I think everyone will expect. A be back to the AC/DC of the forum, the never changing person. While never the artist of the group you know you can pop me in and know what you are getting.
Well I am going to sleep, enough self motivation for the night.
Song of the night: Live For The Moment by Monster Magnet -
end of the day/empty bottle of rum/another attempt
2004-05-05 03:54:07
End of the day, empty bottle of rum.
Where am I now, nearly had a nervous break down over what, AMV making. Because I had absolutely no ideas, no ideas about heavy metal music to anime or anything. I guess its only when I amd runk or buzzed where I truly realize how full of shit I am. Honestly this whole facad if thats how its spelled right feels like bullshit. It obivous I am not the man I used to be and forcing myself to be is just a silly and childish thing to do. Honestly right now I am sick of being arrogant about things, sick of being confident. Its obvious that being confident doesn't work, being depressed doesn't work, being anything just doesn't work. So I stay in limbo, only thing I can do is wait and thats pretty much it. Wait for Sait, wait for music to my ears that are always like cousuling too me and fucked up ways. So many times I try to heal myself of my mental woulds but its like putting a baby band aid on slashed wrists. Honestly I think its better to let it be and let it run its course. Right now I just want some peice. The bottle of rum I bought a few days before New Years is finally empty and now I have the excuse to not drink anymore till next new years. I dont consider myself a excessive drinker if anything I only have a few shots one day per month or a few shots of it in a few months inbetween. Its weird when everyone around me thinks I am drinker, taking half the time I drink by myself so I can erase the whatever chance of hurting anyone. I know my past my dad was like that when he was drunk even when not, he knows now that he can't bully me anymore. He knows by looking in my eyes that if he ever laid his hands on me or my mom I would not hesitate to break him.
Thats a whole lot of angst, its weird but I guess its liek I used to say, thats why I am a Evangelion nerd. Because I see the show and I look at myself through the characters. I have the Hedgehog's Delimma. Does that mean I am suicidal, no in fact far from it. When I watch the show I feel better, I gues sit comes that way with anything I like. Music, movies, anime, the only way to enjoy myself is to select a character I enjoy and live myself through him until the end of the show.
This is all stuff I have said before i know but honestly what else can I say, I can see Adam rag on me for this because I told him to get a spine and quite honestly I hold on to those words with certainty but honestly I feel he is starting to learn that he has to be responsible for his actions. For I try to be everyday of my life whether or not anyone wants to admit it.
Right now I am utterly alone, Rj ignores me now because of my vengefull attitude, Reg and Elite are hell bent to shut my mouth and honestly wouldn't give a shit about me, they want to see me fall under and honestly I am not surprised because I wished the same for both of them, more importantly Elite. As for Robert, HA I am just an aquaintance to him now and I gues sI treat him like so since when I am at work I think about nothing but work. Like Q I take my work and my jobs seriously and everything else takes a side step. Julian is the same way, Chris Y just remembers me barelly. As for me I don't know if I like myself anymore. This is all a sign that I need to leave this city, erase the demons in my life, to start a new life, where nobody knows me and where I can create a new me with no distractions. In the end I guess I just want peace from this brutal world I live in.
I went to work today and seen my goddess there, always smelling good, typical peverted throughts run through my mind every time I see her. I guess I get jealous and lonely everytime I am around her. I feel like ripping my coat of arms off, slip on a tux, tip her to one foot and french kiss her just once. Smoke a cigar, go on motor cycle with just my music bible and leave this place forever. However thats is only in my dreams.
My dreams last night dealt with me and Stone Cold Steve Austing fighting a demon Gorrilla, then soona fter finally hitting 3rd base in my dreams with some woman I can't remember.
I came home, ordered pizza and pigged out then did a whoel lot of sit up then started inspiration fit that I am at the end of.
Whats left for Metal Wolf, whatever it is it just might be the end of it. I feel like it just isn't worth the stress its put me under these days. I know I shouldn't feel like this. I should enjoy it but the fear of failure always gets to me no matte rhow I try to block it. You can console me all you want. Right now the goal is to make and AMV. It may just very well be my last, well last new AMV for a long time, the only thing I want to do these days is remake old AMVs that feel need to be revamped. Their peices of history for me that need to put redone and put into the public so people could really uinderstand what I meant with each of those AMVs. I didn't have the experience nor the help to make them good by any means. Now I feel I do, I feel now I know they are being more respected.
Against The Wind
Rally Ridin'
Cat Scratch Fever
Victims Of Moira Syndrome
Bat Out Of Hell 1
A Boy Named Sue
Whats the reason why I feel like this tonight, you can blame it on one of two things.
1) The Lambs Rum (my favorite liquor when mixed with pepsi, I had the 1/4 of the bottle that was left after 5 months of trying to finish it off)
2) Batman Returns (I feel like Batman and Catwoman all at the same time, in a mask trying to find an equal yet in fear that it wouldn't be the utopia that I wish. Not ot mention Michael Keaton is the best Batman, it pisses me off that he didn't want to do them anymore. He and Tim Burton should come back and do more movies. However either way this movie turned my angry and annoyed/bitchy mood into a dark brooding mood)
So I guess its both, oh well I am going to sleep
wake up
go to the gym
after go to work
after I dont know whatever I feel like doing with an AMV I will do. I have another idea and I plan on doing it.
I got the problem fixed, after countless attempts of god knows what.
At the end of the day I got a few ideas out and they lead in two directions, another James Bond song or a another attempt of a rebirth of Metal Wolf through a band I never attempted as a band I dont think people see much of AMV wise as a anime not see much in AMVs. A deadly mix if I can get it right, key word ge tit right with no liquor involved, just what is left of what you see here. good luck to me I guess since I know no one else I know cares. Either way I got to get it done in one month. LOL, well I am out of here, time to sleep. Don't mind me and what I said, everyone needs to let their emotions out and for me its something I need to ddo on a regular basis.
song of the night: Silver Future by Monster Magnet
JOURNAL: MetalWolf (Corey )
Current server time: Sep 17, 2025 15:38:26