- soz world 2002-11-28 16:52:09 this is an appolgise to the world and all of its oppupants. i appolgise for my actions in the present and the future because i'm sure pretty soon i'm gonna do something that i'm gonna regret and i so dont mean to do it just i wont have any other way to get it outta my body. so will, debbie , parents whoever i effect in this world. i'm sorry.
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once again suicide sounds a good option
2002-11-28 16:47:38
compared to living in this shit ass place, ok once again you can tell i've broken up with my girlfriend. why one would ask i can tell you it wont be anything like last time because she's decided shes now gay which hurts considerably. lets see not his fault but my best friend has become her saviour and she constantly talks to him so i'm a bit rejected now i guess at the moment i'm sitting in my bedroom thinking is this life actually worth lasting ??? well once more my life is hanging on a thread because of a girl i think i should grow the fuck up and stop being such an immmature little kid but i cant its impossible everytime i see the chance to talk to her someone else seems to get in the way. i really kissed her goodbye the other day i mean what a twat kissing your ex goodbye (grow up shes gone dick). and once again i've started the cutting my arm and chest is nice. nice little cross on my chest she likes crosses gotta go see a stupid shrink tomorrow that'll be fuun i'm going to answer everything with "meep" thats gonna make it fun. stupid parents maybe that'll teach em to force it upon me to go to this stupid thing. i'll try and last until febuary because then amv can hear about the best car on the road. but lastin gthat long may not be as easy as it sounds. you would think that the most painful thing in the world would be something grousom like snapping your aklise tendon or something bad but no the most painful thing in the owrld ever is love. yep you hear it first here pain = love. well i suppose i should sleep now i'll go to bed but my eyes wont close because when they do i see her and i see her happy with me but then remember that she never wa happy when she was with me, we ended it the first time because she wasnt happy with the way things were going now she ended it because she wasnt happy again. i would consider surgery but i think i like being a bloke, i just dont trust something that bleeds for seven days and doesnt die !!! oh yeah recent other news i'm gonna fail the course i manged to ween my way on to because i've found out that i bite at hci and have no idea what the fuck he is talking about maybe becuase he's using programs i've never even heard of in some detail. so here we go lets round up my time i've been away from amv my saviour (do it in numbers so i remember how far i got):
1.went to college 4 days a week
2. got back with little miss deb
3. had fun with little miss
4. had a month long break with little miss
5. got dumped because i do have a dick
6. cut myself repeatidly on my arms parents found out
7. probably gonna acuse best friend of wanting ding
8. probably cut myself more
9. see shrink this is tomorrow though
10. make new vid (sometime)
there you go how fucking boring is my life, yes i can tell you a monday i'll describe my day for you not a lot happens. ok first wake up get on the bus with this bitch who never shuts her fucking mouth so i had fun shutting it for her, then get to college mope around like a lost dog becuase i'm having to spend it with debbie while watching most of the blokes perving over her as she flirts with some of them, then go home turn on my only friend in the world my comp play tunes i'm downloading then pretend to sleep for a little longer. this is the general life of n8 yes very boring yes very shit and yes i have to put up with the first bits (bus +college) monday to thursday how bloody nice for me. well as you all know my first vid was very good but only people i know commented on it which was nice bt they aint gonna say it sucks even if it did so i'm gonna make a new vid its gonna be very fucked up because of whats in my head right now so be aware of new coming vids from the mad boyz inc. because you all know we are the best #, no doubt about it - love me 2002-09-19 09:35:39 go on becaus debz doe now so 'm back to normal
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woo hoo
2002-08-30 17:50:25
suicide postponment i got into college gotta work now damn it. lets see it'll be fun with the boss being there doing the same course, but i'll have the set back of my ex 4 days a week in my face hope i dont crack under the pressure.
*N8* - the last week of my life 2002-08-26 07:04:18 soon the college i've applied for will turn me down then theres no point in living so i'll go. no point in having people with no life clog up the world for you now is it.
JOURNAL: n8 (nate kerridge)
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