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Never Do Friendship with Friends
2003-02-12 14:53:27
Y'know, people suck. Horribly.
My best guy friend of 5+ years (who incidentally got me into anime) is turning into more of an immature bastard with each passing day. And I'm starting to feel stupid for just now picking up on it.
It seems every opinion I have is "too serious" in some for or another. I remember recently getting into a discussion with him about AotC. Every time I came up with a perfectly valid reason why I thought it was a deplorable waste of film, he jumped in with "Sheesh, quit being so serious!"
Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally oblivious. He's been pulling this kind of crap for a while. Ever since we graduated high school, actually. But I've been more or less letting it slide for the sake of friendship. Now I'm getting positively sick of it. He can be immature if he wants. I just wish he'd quit yelling at me to do the same.
Like when I'm home from college and we're actually in the same city, he's constantly bitching at me that I don't go anywhere, and when I do, I don't fight with my parents for a later curfew, even though I'm 21 (my curfew is around 9 or 10, which I have absolutely no problem with because I personally don't like being out that late). There were times he's tried to get me to stay out later, and he wonders why I refused, and was less than thrilled when he kept pushing the subject.
What really gets me irked is that I'm not allowed to be serious or skilled or smart around him. I swear he gets offended by the fact that I know and can do things he can't. Sometimes I'll come up with an obscure fact that's pertinent to whatever we're talking about, and he'll tell me to stop because I'm freaking him out.
Or when I mentioned my recent AMV idea for VHD: BL, and that I was going to do the rounded part of the song with varying degrees of transparency. He told me not to use layering. When I asked him why, his response was "it looks gimmicky. Like 'look what I can do!'" I almost told him to get over himself, but I bit my tongue because I like to think of myself as a nice person.
As for not being allowed to be serious, my problem is that he's not serious enough most of the time. If he were, he wouldn't have been put on academic probation at college after two semesters.
The other thing is that he never tries to get better at anything. That'd be fine if he wasn't such a goddamn hypocrite about it. Like with drawing. We're both artists. I've adopted a style that's changed and adapted elements that I like from other anime styles I've picked up over the years (everything from DBZ to Utena). He draws the same way he's been drawing ever since high school. Recently he complained that he can't draw clothes, so he sticks to drawing stuff like Invader Zim, Megaman, Sonic, and Super Mario, where clothes aren't a big issue. My point is that he COULD draw clothes if he actually got up off his ass and tried.
He also bitches to me a lot about my "lack of originality" when I design my own characters. Yet aside from one Sonic character and the alien cast he never even draws anymore, he hasn't done any original characters. So who the hell is he to tell me about lack of originality?
The straw that very nearly broke the tauntaun's back was when he bitched at me for talking to my sister over AIM. He literally told me it freaked him out that I was that close with my family when I'm off at college. If we hadn't been talking on AIM, I would've slapped him. As it were, I was pretty close to bitching HIM out over AIM for telling me who to talk to.
My most recent beef with him was over Operation Rebirth, actually. He was telling me this project was too damn big, and that I shouldn't do it because it'll drive me crazy. I felt like laying it into him that just because he's too lazy to challenge himself and pull it off, that doesn't mean I am. But again, I bit my tongue for the sake of being his friend.
You know what, though? My tongue's getting pretty damn sore.
And I usually end up cursing myself out for being such a tolerant chick. I'll probably bite my tongue in half before I tell him off. It's not fair to me, though. I don't want to start a rift, but I also don't like feeling like he's trying to hold me down all the time. I want to be my smart, pretty serious, and skilled self without getting the third degree from him.
Guess I just can't win. And maybe this is why I'll never find a guy who can put up with me. Because guys want girls who are just as immature and lazy as they are, and with half the brains (no guy ever wants a girl who's smarter than he is). None of which I am. I know it sucks, but I like who I am and like hell am I going to change it just so I can land a superficial moron.
Guess that's my venting session for today
*goes off to brew more coffee* -
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
2003-02-11 10:53:09
That just about sums up today. Scrapped the preliminary storyboard for Operation Rebirth and started completely redoing it, now that I got my hands on my friend's "How to Draw Manga" books, $6, and a photocopier. This new one's looking SWEET, and the good news is that I really don't have to scrap the secondary ones. Hopefully this new storyboard will be up by the end of the week.
As for other crap, my laptop's in the shop for its third repair. But that's a good thing. Because more than three repairs under Best Buy's PSP, and I get a shiny new one (a shiny new FREE one no less). And I've got repair number four already lined up. New laptop, here I come! -
One by one, the penguins are stealing my sanity....
2003-01-30 22:05:51
Finally put up the page for Operation Rebirth, and spent most of today wrestling with an uncooperative FTP server in an attempt to get stable hosting. A very special thanks to Ean of Deathgate Studios for putting up with me. I seriously hope we can get this server problem resolved.
Production art for Operation Rebirth is driving me crazy. I've started the secondary storyboards and some of the character models. Hopefully this week I can go through my anime with a microphone and get the necessary sound clips (if you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about, go here: http://www.tornadostudios.biz.ly ).
Wll, that's pretty all that's gone down today in my boring life. Catch ya next time.
JOURNAL: BishounenStalker (Rachel Daniels)
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