JOURNAL: Eek-1 (Ikhwan )

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  • thestar 2003-10-04 19:09:49 --
    PM: Western leaders will never admit mistakes
    Leaders in United States and Britain will never admit they have been wrong in waging war against Iraq, even when they have been proven so by the US-led team which has found no weapons of mass destruction (WMD) in their search of the country.
    ---

    Likewise. PM himself never admitted his own mistakes, and his comrades, even when they have been proven so by Anwar in courts, and the oppositions. 
  • Meeting a friend 2003-05-09 05:53:14 "How long have you known her?"
    "When we were little."
    "You two were neighbours?"
    I shook my head to disagree.
    "I knew her from my teacher. Back then I was in standard 5, took tution class at her dad's. So I always to their house. Known their family. She was six then."
    "Wow, you were in love since child?"
    "Heck, no!"
    "When I was into standard six, her parents moved out. We never met again aftr that. Until one day I saw her with Zali at the club. It was after I asked where she was from, and then found out we were childhood friends."
    "So, she was Zali's girlfriend?"
    "Nope. She was his staff. You know Zali. He often bring his staff along wherever he goes."
    "As you know, he's not a dangerous kind with a girl." I continued.
    Awie smiled. "Not unless he's out with us." he said. And then we both laughed."

    "So, you two have been together very long."
    "Quite. If a woman can pregnant for 9 days, we probably have two, three hundred kids now."
    Awie didn't laugh, perhaps my silly joke was too lame. He looked serious.
    "Did her parents know about it?"
    "Nope."
    "No way!"
    "Really, they didn't know. Although I did followed her to Johor to meet her parents two years ago, I had nothing with her then."
    "No way! You've been with her two years, yet she haven't told her parents about it?"
    "She won't."
    "Impossible!"

    There's nothing impossible. I was sure of it. Syerie's parents are very punctual. Syerie told me, ever since in standard three her parents won't allow her to have boyfriend like the others. She'd be reminded about it every year.

    "Mom & dad said, if I ever want, just head straight to marriage. They won't mind whoever I choose. They just don't want to see me holding hands with any boys without legal bond." Syerie told me quite long ago.
    "What if they found out?"
    "Then I'm dead.. My dad's gonna kill me. Or at least he'll force me to married straight away."

    Based on those words I was convinced her parents won't know about our relationship. Heck, Syerie wouldn't want to get herself killed. She wouldn't want her dad to become a murderer. However those words also made me feeling more and more uneasy.

    "Man, yours is heavy." said Awie.
    "It'd be less complicated if her parents had never known about you. At least you could get away."
    "I know.." and then I started to get discomfort.

    At first I thought by meeting Awie would help me at least a bit in getting rid of the tension. But that moment my feeling was getting worse.

    Even after I got back home I still couldn't get my mind off the problem with Syerie. Thank goodness my eyes were kind of 'security guard's eyes. After some minutes I managed to dozed off no matter what the situation my mind was in. 
  • A Dangerous Call 2003-05-07 03:25:29 "If you refuse again this time, then I will force to kill myself!"

    Astaghfirullah.

    "I'll take poison.. or hang myself.. or jump from a building. And before tht I will send letters to my friends, to the police, to the press, to my families.. saying that I am dead because of you!"

    Na'uzubillah.

    She wouldn't do it, I thought. She's only threatening. She wouldn't do such a thing. She couldn't just suicide at that age. If otherwise she wouldn't be able to try lipsticks, she wouldn't be able to go shopping, and most importantly, she couldn't find me there, her dream guy. But what if she's really going to do it?

    I became discomfort. As I put down the phone I was thinking about Syerie, and the phone. If the phone hadn't been invented Syerie would have to come to the office to meet me, but she wouldn't dare to threat me with such words. Not in front of my staff. She would have to consider my 'water-face'. But since there was a phone she could just yell out everything without worrying. She didn't have to think about my face turning red. Even if I roll over the carpet suffering her words she wouldn't know, nor she would care. So I blamed the phone for what had just happened.

    I wasn't in the mood that evening because of the call. I felt like I'm not in the mood to live on. But that doesn't mean I'm in mood to die either. No! I was only feeling miserable.

    The truth is, my problem with Syerie wasn't new. It had been a while and brought up quite a few times. But it had never been so serious until that afternoon.

    Back then, usually when Syerie brought up the subject, I would be able to settle it peacefully. A little beg, a little twist in the words, and Syerie would slowly calm down and I just hid the problem back into the refrigerator. After some week, whenever it happens again, I could just beg her a bit, twist a bit, and place it back in the fridge.

    However this time I was hanged. From the way Syerie brought it up, th problem got bigger and trapped me inside. Three days ago we were okay. We were very close together.

    But it was our close-relationship that betrayed me, becuse that close-ness that had sprung the problem which then got bigger and bigger, and then became the worst. I wasn't sure what really caused my mouth turned big fat during the night before. Perhaps because it was raining that night. Perhaps because at that time my hands were sharing Syerie's warmth that my mouth decided to speak out about marriage.

    Maybe it's a normal thing, when the rain falls the human brains would be swarmed by weird thoughts. Like those who're working would think about sleeping, those selling ice-creams would be feeling to cry, the husbands would be thinking of going to bedroom with their wifes, and bachelors like me would think about marriage. It's been a tradition. It's something that is brought by the rain.

    "Let's say if we're married, what would you want to do when it's raining like this?" my mouth started to get big.
    "I'd call the cab and head to the office."
    "Office? Hey, I mean, when it's raining at night like this, not daytime."
    "Whether it's day or night, I'll call the cab to send me to the office."
    "Why?"
    "I wouldn't dare staying home.. afraid you would eat me.." and Syerie laughed out loud. Such laugh meaning she was in devil mood as I was.

    "Come on now, be serious. I don't want that kind of answer." I pushed those words between her laughs.

    "Okay.. I want us to make kids."
    "Haah!?" I surprised. Actually I was acting surprised.
    "I know that's what you want to hear, right?" Syerie was feeling my shoulders with her head, as her hand ran down to my knee. I was overloaded with 'electric current'.

    "Honey.." she whispered.
    "Hmm.."
    "So, when will you..?"
    "When will, what?" I pretended that I didn't understand even though from her voice I could guess what she meant.
    "When will you going to purpose me? How long are we going to stay like this?" she asked softly as she drew apart. I sighed.
    "Someday."
    "Everytime is the same answer.. Someday, someday, someday."
    From that point she started yelling.

    We had a big fight that night. But actually, syerie was fighting alone while I laid down acting like a dummy. She didn't accept my reasons so I chose to shut up, letting her yapping herself, saying this and that. Only at certain times that I tried reasoning to defend myself, but it was all wasted. I thought she'd coll down later if I stay ignore her. But that night she didn't. I tried many ways to get her cool however none did work. At worse, she didn't even want me to hold her.

    "Don't touch me.. You got no right to touch. You're not my husband nor my fiancee!"
    For a moment I shrieked. She had never been so harsh to me. Even the time I was sending her home, she didn't say a thing. No ways for me to beg since she kept ignoring me. I was really hurt.

    I was in disbelief after she walked out from the car and cried "You don't ever try to call me anymore unless with a decision!" After that he walked to her home without even a glance towards me.

    Since that unfortunate night I had to broke down our relationship. Temporarily, of course. I tried to call her on the way home. First I called her handset, but only the woman I hated most that answered; "Your call has been fowarded to an automatic.."

    I left a message. Short but meaningful. "I'm sorry, okay. Rellay sorry. Love you.. Bye!"

    If we weren't in quarrel, after listening to that message I'm sure Syerie would be running around the town, naked =b

    After that I called to her house. Her friend answered, said she's sleeping, she had a headache. But I knew she was there, without headache, and I knew she didn't want to talk to me. But I thought there was still tomorrow.

    However the net day I was still unfortunate. She turned off her handset. All my calls to her office were only replied with "She's not here, she went out, she's in the washroom.."

    The night I called to her house again, and her friend replied with an answer, which I knew she was just making it. "Syerie got migrain."

    I didn't gave up, so I left a couple of messages to her friend and her officemate. I told her to call back, send my regards to her. Hopefully she would cool off after a few days.

    But none of my solutions worked. And finally I decided to let it be.. She's probably just over-emotional, maybe she's in period. Who knows? I thought she'll call me when she's fine. She used to be like that and usually didn't take long. After that we got back togeter, closer & she'd be even more sweet to me.

    But that afternoon was totally different than I thought. Her call that day clearly showed that she won't her my reasons anymore.

    "What am I to you? Your slave girl?" That really made me shocked. I never thought she would say suh a thing.

    "Come on dear.. I never think of you that way.. Not and never!"
    "Then, how come you're playing me like I have no parents, like I have no pride! You know how long you've been carrying me around. Whenever I asked about when you're gonna marry me you'd give a lot of excuses.. It's always this.. always that.."

    Till there I could still hold to myself. But when she started saying about suicide, threat notes, I started to feel my legs aren't the same height like I was gonna fall. 
  • Remind myself... 2003-04-29 03:39:27 To buy a surge protector like PK's blackout buster , or steal one at the district office Hohoho..!
     
  • Someone asked me... 2003-04-28 22:44:28 How do you write "I love you" in Malay?

    Basically it's "Aku cinta kamu" this is common in Indonesian, I think. But in Malaysian, it's "Saya cintakan awak.", sounds more meaningful/complete.

    Notice the '-kan', it actually connects 'cinta' with the two subjects: 'Saya' and 'awak'. Without the '-kan' the statement is less meaningful.

    Saya, Aku == I
    Awak, Kamu == You

    You can choose between 'aku' or 'saya', 'awak' or 'kamu', whichver you prefer.



    So, how do you say that in Malay?

    The good thing about letters sounds in Malay is that there is only one sound for each letter (except for 'e' which has 2, depending on the word)

    So in case of "Saya cintakan awak",

    'A' is like 'Aaa..'; as in 'armor', 'ark'
    'C' is like 'chh'; as in 'chap', 'chart'
    'I' is like 'ee..'; as in 'if', 'is'



    I heard that there are many ways you can say "I love you" in Malay. What is your favourite?

    I prefer "Saya sayangkan awak", simply because it sounds more lovely, very sweet.

    Short note:
    The use of word 'cinta' is quite restricted, meaning you can only use the word to say to your husband/wife, or your only girl/guy. Unlike 'sayang'

    Other example:
    "Aku sayang kereta ni" -- "I love this car"



    Ciao. 
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