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I'll see you in the Spring...I'll see you in the Spring
2002-12-20 14:35:29
Music: Malice Mizer "Gekka no Yasoukyoku"
Mood: Ever so dreamy...
I finally got September's response from the e-mail I sent her about a week ago, confessing that I wanted to make love to her. Here's her very heartfelt and thoughtful response:
"You are so beautiful.
You have confidence in your words that I admire so much. Thank you for your
honesty, and for being so wonderful.
I want to make love to you, too. You have no idea how often I think
intimately about you. I try not to express it, because I don't want you or
anyone to think I just want you. I love you with all my heart like I've
loved nobody before. You are the most fantastic person I've ever met, and
I've never imagined anyone could be so wonderful, so beautiful. Everything
about you makes me fall in love more, and I know that even if I just met
you, I would fall in love again. Every day is like a miracle, and no matter
what I feel, your kiss envelopes me and I can't hold onto my pain or anger
any longer.
I've never had physical desire for anyone else before you, and I don't think
I could possibly feel like I do for anyone else. You make me feel beautiful,
and desirable, and somehow you're able to overlook my faults to see me, and
not just my body. Never do I feel more full, or alive as when I'm with you.
Again, thank you.
I can't get over the fact that you're so amazingly honest-I love that. Even
thought I don't have that kind of blind confidence yet, please don't ever
think that I love every piece of you any less.
Ah, I look at this email, and I can't say how little of what I feel is
expressed. I don't even think there are words for how I feel, how you make
me feel.
Thank you for making me feel this way.
I love you with all of my heart
Sep"
Mmmm...September, my one and only. How I long to feel her body press against mine as we passionately embrace. I wish to join my lips to hers sweetly in that tender moment. I close my eyes and try to imagine, if only for a brief second, the undescribable jubilance of the moment and I am swept away. Tonight I want to feel her touch...I want to run my hands softly over every inch of her body. I want to make love to her...and I have no misgivings about it. I love her, and I long for her touch; how could that be wrong? The love I have now for her is beyond words...I only wish to hold her close to my heart and never let her go, to remain forever in this wonderful dream we call our love....
I got her Xmas gift today at school. It was so lovely. She handed me a sketchbook when I first saw her at school today. At first I thought to myself, "I already have plenty of sketch books. I thought she knew that."
Then she said, "Take a look inside..."
I opened it and it was full of drawings, notes, and poems she had done for me over the past month. I was stunned, completely stunned. But there was more in it!
I flipped towards the last block of pages and there was some sort of CD inside. But it wasn't a CD. It was a concert DVD of one of my favorite bands, the amazing Jrock/goth group Dir En Grey. I was even more stunned!
I had absolutely nothing to say. I couldn't say anything! But she looked like she understood and just smiled back. It was more than enough!
I felt like a total retart when I almost forgot to hand her her gift. She loved it too! I gave her an authentic first pressing of Gackt's debue album "Mars", the only one she doesn't already have. I'm glad she loved it so much, being that she gave me sooo much.
I feel so happy today, more than usual. I feel so full and so loved; so blessed.
Please God, let these feelings last...
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More than this, So much more than this. There is something else there, when all that you had has all gone.
2002-12-19 19:25:24
Music: Peter Gabriel "More Than This"
Mood: sleepy...but somehow staying awake
Gawd, I'm addicted to these new Peter Gabriel songs.
I updated my website again with Page 20 of White Wallpaper. There won't be any more updates for atleast a week because I want to get the last few pages done, as well as a cool looking cover.
I've noticed that around every 3 months i take a "drawing hibernation" type thing. I draw a lot less and when I DO draw, it's always surgical shit to improve some specific aspect of my craft. Then, when the hibernation is up, I'm amazingly better than I was before. I'll look back on stuff I did 3 months ago and be like "WTF?!" I don't think I'm hibernating right now. If I'm hibernating from anything, it's probably AMVs...but I'm working on those too. Its one of those times where you think more about what your purpose is, rather than letting your craft define your purpose. its one of those times where you think more about what your purpose is rather than letting your craft define your purpose.
I think these hibernation periods are coming to an end, though. I can feel myself becoming...... responsible.
Peace outies!
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I am absolute coruption!
2002-12-18 22:08:54
music: hide "Fuct Track #6"
mood: bored
dohdohshsh: have you heard of the weakerthans?
bigshot jordan: no
dohdohshsh: well, we saw them play once, and left halfway through the show
bigshotjordan: do they suck?
dohdohshsh: they have a few good songs
bigshotjordan: but not enough to sit through a whole show...
dohdohshsh: my sister wanted their cd for christmas
bigshotjordan: your sister's a homo
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I believe, the love you talk about with me...is it true? should I care? honestly...
2002-12-16 17:23:30
Music: Zwan "Honestly"
Mood: overloaded
Zwan's new single rules so much. It almost made me cry. Whenever they release their CD, if it sounds anything like their single, I'll buy it instantly and it'll be the only thing I'll listen to for a very very LONG time.
Making some kick ass mix CDs.
I made this one last night:
(1) the salteens - motor away (a cover song)
(2) old 97's - rollerskate skinny
(3) the flashing lights - same old life
(4) the flaming lips-fight test
(5) belly - l'il ennio
(6) sloan - penpals
(7) superchunk - late century dream
(8) manic street preachers-motorcycle emptiness
(9) manic street preachers-suicide is painless
(10) wilco - radio cure
(11) the joel plaskett emergency - waiting to be discovered
(12) plumtree - aquarius
(13) abandoned pools-mercy kiss
(14) oblivion dust-crazy
(15) zwan-honestly
I burnin' those Peter Gabriel 'Up' tracks tonight off the CD Jesse gave me. I agree, this is easily one of the best releases in 2002...if not THE best!
I also got two Smashing Pumpkins albums in the mail today, Gish and Pieces Iscariot!
RAWK!!!!!!!!
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Speed freaks baby rocket dive!
2002-12-15 03:22:35
Music: Manic Street Preachers "Suicide is Painless"
Mood: tired
Today was interesting. I met up with Jesse (Zerophite) down at the Kunikuniya (aka "waste your money" store). Good times.
I picked up a copy of the latest X-Japan CD called Trance X (well, X broke up back in 1998 but...there's still room for remixes! ^_^).
The CD is kinda dull and repetitive in places, but it's growing on me. The only downside to the disc is that none of the tracks really sound like the original songs. Some remixes just don't work AT ALL like the Tears and Rusty Nail remixes, but those are the only ones.
However, the good places on the CD are actually REALLY GOOD, like Silent Jealousy, Kurenai, Standing Sex etc. etc.
All in all, definately worth the $30. I just have to be in the right mood to listen to the CD.
My dad likes it too ^_^
I also got the chance to take a look at Jesse's latest video (which I won't name, for privacy reasons). Very nicely done. Easily one of my favorites by him. Keep it up, Zerophite!
Tomorrow (well, later today since it's 1:43 AM here) will be nothing but chores and homework. But as long as I have my music with me, all problems with fade away.
Chu-Ching!
JOURNAL: BigshotSpike (Jordan Peters)
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