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Hello. Goodbye. Can you hear me? It's me...
2002-12-02 18:49:07
Music: Hotei Tomoyasu "Rocket Dive (hide cover)"
Mood: That emotion you when you just get home from school/work
Well, new page of White Wallpaper is up on my site. I've taken about a month off from AMVs because I wanted to focus more on White Wallpaper, among other things. But really, Ive been productive as fuck. and it's pretty nice. my lifestyle is progressing dazzling-like. im having fun with art. and it shows like a mofo. i plugged September like four seperate pieces of artwork or design or some kind of shit i made while I was at school and it was all crazy and fun and i think im a little messed in the head coz my sleeping patterns are totally WHACKED (didn't get to sleep until 4 AM, and have to wake up at 6:30 AM for school)
Ive noticed im using a lot less commas and i dont really care. its like, who needs them, huh? and when i do use them a lot i use them in OVER-abundance and in WRONG places. whats up with that? huh? huh? Just shows how well they teach English to me in 10th grade, eh? (look, a comma! And it's in the RIGHT PLACE!) 0.0
The summer between grades 8 and 9 I briefly dated this girl who had a boyfriend who was like, 24. she was 14, and she smoked. The experience soured me to relationships for what felt like a long time, a wariness that continues even today. the point being, in retrospect, i should have run away. other things you should run away from:
1. "i have to take four different mood stabilizers...and an anti-psychotic"
2. creepy familial relationships.
3. mormons.
4. "i want to have lots of babies."
5. girls whose name's start with "A"
I'm going to chew on some mentos. They're good for sharing :)
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You come to see me, I take your hand.
2002-12-01 22:50:18
Music: Malice Mizer "Illuminati"
Mood: Supa happiness!
Thanks a lot September! Now you've got me completely hooked on Malice Mizer! >_< I can't deny it, Klaha is one sexy guy! I should know better not to borrow these concerts from her ^_^
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It's a shame that you're going nowhere, Did you think you were going somewhere?
2002-12-01 17:07:58
Music: Oblivion Dust "Going nowhere"
Mood: How the hell should I know?!
thanksgiving is such a bad idea. food is stupid.
Yesterday I had some Subway thing for breakfast, but no lunch and no dinner. Wasn't hungry. I used to be on some sort of diet plan, like what I'd eat and when I'd eat it. But that's now officially in my past. I don't care anymore. I think I need to eat more though, cuz I lost like 5 pounds lately (so I'm about 115 instead of 120). Erg...It's impossible for me to gain any weight though, no matter how much I pig out. Oh well, that's just how I am I guess. AND THAT'S FUCK-TASTIC!
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It's a shame that you're going nowhere, Did you think you were going somewhere?
2002-12-01 17:02:13
Music: Oblivion Dust "Going nowhere"
Mood: How the hell should I know?!
thanksgiving is such a bad idea. food is stupid.
Yesterday I had some Burger King thing for breakfast, but no lunch and no dinner. Wasn't hungry. I used to be on some sort of diet plan, like what I'd eat and when I'd eat it. But that's now officially in my past. I don't care anymore. I think I need to eat more though, cuz I lost like 5 pounds lately (so I'm about 115 instead of 120). Erg...It's impossible for me to gain any weight though, no matter how much I pig out. Oh well, that's just how I am I guess. AND THAT'S FUCK-TASTIC!
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Where are you going? Take me with you, I can't be alone.
2002-11-30 02:26:45
Music: Malice Mizer "Le ciel ~ onwards towards the nothingness"
Mood: dark and moody
In the sphere of Athum there once lived two beautiful angels
by the names of Seth and Holth.
Seth was the gentle one of the two, the kind one, the ancious one, the precious jewel,
Holth was the strong one of them, the determined, the bold one.
They lived in peace in the sphere of Athum for eternity, since there is no time,
nor age, nor decay in this world. The waters flow uphill, time is irrelevant.
Athum taketh all and creates everything, for eternity.
The angels Seth and Holth lived there undisturbed forever.
They made love by their eyes, tasting their tears, they spoke to each
other by their blood. They slept in Athum's womb not knowing of any evil, plight or
fear.
No worry, no pain ever harmed them...
and they could have gone on like thus forever, if not one day bold Holth had started
to ask questions... questions about other worlds, other beings, questions about
life and death.
He tried to force Athum to tell him but instead for an answer the angels
Seth and Holth
were banished to planet earth, thrown into the harshness of light, noise and madness.
They woke up from their eternal dream to find themselves reborn to a world
full of questions, hectic and evil.
Not knowing what to do, only trying to get home again, home to Athum, the womb,
the mother of it all, home to peace, where the waters are flowing uphill and
where time has no meaning.
Despair and madness.
Rage and sadness.
Tell me, gentle Seth... tell me the meaning of it all, tell me the meaning
of human life and strain...
"Somewhere in this void there must be the key to all our questions.
We have been thrown deep... so deep into this place...
Let time and everything like it disappear into nothingness.
A maze full of transity and no one to console us.
People who don't believe in anything anymore and go more crazy by the hour.
Oh please tell us someone what we want to know!
Give us the solutions!
Give us Eternity!
While time is flying by we can only utilize this world's strongest weapon... love...
But cruelty has come to our lives, the lights from this world will die... now!"
Hunted down by them humans who did not understand, nor ever loved,
Seth and Holth were sacrificed and murdered.
Seeing their plight in the human world Athum pitied them and allowed them to
return home... but home was not the same anymore, they had seen too much,
heard too much, felt too much in the human world.
They lost their innocence, their faith,
they could not ignore the questions no longer...
Why? Tell me why?
But Athum could not answer and so Athum, the womb that creates everything and taketh everything, turned back to nothingness...
for eternity
for life
forever
....
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JOURNAL: BigshotSpike (Jordan Peters)
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