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Just about 4000 views
2003-08-23 21:33:14
Yup, that's right, with this entry punched in, I should reach 4000 views. I really had no idea that so many people took interest in my life. It's very nice to know. ^_^
Though I figured it'd be appropriate to write about how pathetic I am for such an important Journal entry.
I always wonder what kind of odd person I am. Most people you can pretty much nail it down for them. They're either happy go lucky, depressed, boring, always active, smart... And so on. But for myself, I'm a little bit of everything, and I hate it. What's even worse is that I change from any of these feelings, so easily. And no one ever notices, unless I make it obvious how I feel... so it leaves me so alone. I make myself alone...
It's not even like everytime I change, I'm trying to deceive myself (unless I am, then I'm doing a VERY good job). Because when my heart changes, I believe whole heartly whatever it is that I now feel. As a simple idea, try this. I could watch Pokémon, and then feel really cheerful. I'd start thinking like I should try and do great things to prove myself to the world. But later in the day I could watch Samurai X (Kenshin), and feel cold inside. I'd start thinking that I don't need anyone, and that being alone is fine. And I'd stay thinking like this until the next thing that influences me to change my attitude.
So this is why I change... because I am easily influenced by outside forces. I don't mean that I give in to peer-pressure and such, but I mean that instead of ignoring the idea, I create my own. It's like the idea hearing a story about an environmentalist. Most people would hear about it, and probably never think about it again. Me, I'd hear it, think about it, and then decide to devote my life to something, maybe not the environment, but something. See what I mean?
Of course though this causes problems because I never know what I want to do in the future. This irritates people like my parents because when they ask me what I want to do, I'm never able to give them a straight answer. I don't know what I want to do as a job. I don't know what University to attend. I don't know what to even study! And this is something I have to submit by November. -_- I can't put it off like most of the things I do.
So with this, I leave myself in an isolated state of mind. I never know what I want, and it drives me crazy. People get irritated when they ask me what I want to do or want, and I have no answer for them. But put it this way, if it bugs you, rest assured that it absolutely boggles MY mind!
Maybe I can call what I have a severe case of mood swings... sounds about right. I wouldn't say multiple personalities, but I'm not sure what the definition of that is. I have the stereo typical view of there pretty much being like 2 minds in one body, but I"m sure that's actually not the medical description for it. lol Ya, must be severe mood swings. -_-
Though like I said before, the worst part is that no one can really tell. When I'm with friends, I always have my "happy" façade. When I'm with my dad, I have my "rebel" or "cold" façade. With my brother, it's my "happy" which then turns into "angry" façade. My mom gets the "happy" or "cold" façade. Everyone knows a different version of me, but no one knows the real me. Why? Because I don't know how to show anyone the real me. For that fact, I don't even know who the real me is... o_0
That's all I'm willing to bare to know about myself for one day. Goodnight everyone, and may you all have pleasant dreams. ^_^
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
What to do, what to do...
2003-08-23 09:25:35
I haven't been getting much sleep. I woke up at 5:00am today (I missed 4:00am!), and sat around doing nothing.
The swelling on my left side is getting better, but on my right side it's not going down at all. Just a few minutes ago, I spit out something. I thought it was some food stuck in my teeth, but infact it was a piece of my gums. Ya, that looked nice. At least it doesn't get caught in my teeth when I bite down now. -_-
I started having some brainstorms of ideas for new banners. Though for a lot of them, I'm too lazy to make them come true. At least I was able to finish one.
Looks like I'm not going to be able to play soccer tomorrow. This really bites. It's some of our last soccer games, and I can't play because my teeth still hurt to much. Maybe I could just wear a hockey helmet on the field... hehe -_- Ya, I guess that's against the rules.
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
The day after a lightning storm...
2003-08-22 12:13:41
:: Yes, you're right. What am I doing here? Why am I doing something that only ends up tearing my head apart (big headache)? Hey, I never said I was smart. I just like coming online. Oh well, I deal with my head later. ::
It's so nice out today. It's sunny, with a bit of clouds, windy and cool. It's so awesome. I sat outside, and just soaked myself in the scenery. ^_^
I e-mailed my friend who had his surgery the same day as me, so I was wondering how he's doing. I hope he's doing well.
Another friend of mine called asking if I wanted to come and do all this stuff for the last week before school. School starts on Sept. 2nd. I had to decline his offer for a few things, but hopefully next week I'll be good enough to tag along. The last thing I need is to be cooped up inside before heading back for my last year of high school. -_-
Sleep was tough to come by last night. I slept on the couch so I could sit up, thinking that would dull the pain, but it didn't work. I turned on my CD player, and listened through the night. Eventually, I feel asleep, but woke up at 4:00am (again 0_0). I think I went back to sleep after that, but I'm not sure.
I also watched Macross Plus, the movie, this morning. It was really quite good.
That's enough of this, I'm going outside before I fry myself. lol
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
That was inspiring...
2003-08-21 22:34:58
That was such an awesome Thunder Storm! Pure lightning for an hour or two, not to mention the strong wind gusts.
I sat outside for the first part of it, but then it started raining, so I had to seek shelter under the stairs of the deck. Once it started pouring, I opened the door, and sat inside to watch the storm. It was really amazing. I actually forgot about my mouth for a few moments... ^_^
But once it finished, I was right back where I started. -_-
I watched Escaflowne (movie), the Powerpuff Girls (movie), and Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. They were all really good. Especially Vampire Hunter D, I thought that anime was amazing. One thing it needs though, different language and subtitle options. First time I've ever seen a DVD where you can't change the language or even add subtitles... -_-
Ok, I thought I could tough it out for a while to browse the internet for awhile, but I guess I was wrong. ;_; x_x I need some more pills.
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
Stupid pain...
2003-08-21 19:04:37
I won't say much for now, because I feel like jumping out the window right now. -_-
I got my Wisdom Teeth taken out on Wednesday morning. They knocked me right out, and I was able to count to 14 before I passed out.
I look like the Pilsbury Dough Boy's brother or something. Either that or a Squirrel with two acorns in his cheeks. c-_- (I dunno how to make a backwards c).
The time it hurts the most is when I lie down. Now just imagine me TRYING to sleep.
My friend got his done at the same place on the same day. Now isn't that just a coincidence or something! Though right now I have no idea how he's doing.
After the surgery yesterday, all I coud taste was blood for the rest of the day. Now wasn't that yummy. -_-
I got to go, I can't look at this screen anymore.
Kevin (Anime Jedi)
JOURNAL: Anime Jedi
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