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VCA
2003-03-11 11:46:07
Later today the results will be announced. That sounds pretty cool. I wonder if any of my top choices will be chosen. I really hope so, because I practically downloaded all the music videos nominated in order properly judge them. That put a dent in my harddrive. Well, I wish everyone the best of luck.
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
The meaning of life...
2003-03-08 17:47:58
Lately, I've been feeling down. Wondering what am I doing here. What's my purpose in life....
Unfortunetely, watching so much anime does not help. Everyone in anime has a purpose, and if they don't know it, they always figure it out. It's not exactly the greatest role model, because then I feel I'm always waiting for things to happen. I become dependant. And if there's anything I hate, it's being dependant...
The feeling of just being plain tired is floating like an aura around me. No, not physically tired, emotionally. I should be going out, accomplishing stuff, getting a job, doing my best of homework assignments, helping people out, being there for people... being there for myself....
I wonder what I'm going to do to get myself out of this slump... Here's where I was about to say, "We'll have to wait and see", but that's exactly my point! I don't want to wait and see anymore, I want to make things happen. But something is holding me back.... And I wish I knew what it was....
I wish I knew what it was. Maybe it's fear. Fear of change... Fear of getting closer to more people... Fear of doing new things... Fear of actually accomplishing something... Fear of responsibility... Fear of the future... This attitude of mine is driving me nuts! It's not like it's something that people can help me with either. I need to solve this on my own. Because without figuring it out on my own.... I'll never fully undertsand...
Well, enough of me whining, it's March Break. ^_^
Today I went out and did some shopping with my friend. We didn't do much, just stopped at 2 places and checked stuff out. He's considering getting PS2, and I am too actually. Just for some games like Dark Cloud 2, Xenosaga, and a few more... Such good games, and that will probably never see GC... :'( And anime still costs so much!!! I wanted to get the Gundam Wing DVD box set, but it's $219.99. WIht tax that's about $25 a DVD. Which is in reality not that bad, but in total the price is a little overwhelming for myself.
I think I'm going to register for Anime North today. That will be my first step to doing more, and making something of my life. Considering there's not too many anime conventions around here (mainly Anime North and CNAnime) I'll love to go to this one.
I saw the last episodes of CardCaptors today. Yes, the dubbed one, but it's a start! Not bad. It took Teletoon forever to end the series! Like come on, some people want to find out how it ends before they grow old of the series. But now I want to see how it really ends in Card Captor Sakura. I've seen clips and it looks very sad.
Your worn out Jedi is out for now,
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
Almost March break...
2003-03-03 21:28:30
Only 3 more days of school left until March break!
Ok, it's boiling down here! It's freezing outside, so the basement gas fireplace is on. Well, after a while, it gets really hot. There's probably a 15°C difference from the floor compared to the ceiling area. From frezzing to boiling. This has got to be messing with my body. lol
Tomorrow, I have a nice gym presentation. I just have to do a warm-up with my some friends for a volleyball game. Just the usual jogging, fun stuff and stretches for everyone. I also have Psysics test tomorrow. I don't believe I'm ready, but oh well, that won't stop me from taking it anyways. Luckily my art project is not due until after the March Break. Man am I lucky or what? It's really hard, and it's got to look great. I'm glad for the extra time. And there's not too much more happening in Interior Design...
I downloaded Mission Improbable. It was pretty good. Huge file size! lol One problem though, since the song is so fast, and it's a new creator like every half a minute, it's so hard to watch it in full screen! Some people seemed to want to put as much into their section as possible, for maximum results. But in full screen, things like the flashes (that go with the beat) are blinding and occur way too often. I need to keep my eyes closed for a bit after that. I could have had seizure! lol j/k Though there was some people who make nice cuts and had the edits time the beat, not flashes. All in all, it was still a great project.
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
Ever want to lift up your spirits?
2003-02-28 06:27:24
Watch some sappy/sentimental anime music videos!
It works wonders actually. That what I did last night, and it made me feel better. It practically changed your whole perspective on life. Well, first off, I'm a person who's mood and opinions are easily swayed by his surroundings. In other words, I watch a happy music video, I'm happy. I lose in a game, I'm sad. I don't normally show this, but I assure you, that's how I'm feeling. lol I bet most people are like this too. I just feel the highs and lows always jumping around. I guess you can even call them mood swings. lol
Where was I? Oh ya! Well, last night after watching some vids like "In My Arms Again", ok, well most of Silver_moon's vids. lol Then "Situation" from Sierra Lorna. And then a bunch of Apocalyptica songs. Ya, I got into those thanks to Fluxmeister. Thanks man! ^_^
All of a sudden, I felt a change in myself. I felt strongly abotu having goals, doing the right thing, and most important of all, living. Don't get me wrong, I would have never considered anything else than living, but i just mean I felt really good. Too bad it was so late already, and that I couldn't ejoy it anymore. lol
Oh well, time for school! ^_^
Remember, I would you all!
Have a nice day!
Kevin (Anime Jedi) -
Sometimes life is just too rough...
2003-02-27 20:27:46
***Contain inappropraite topics for younger audiences.
Well, a fellow student of mine committed suicide. This is the second one so far since I've been in high school. And to think, both originally came from my elementary school (there's probably 6 elementary schools that merge into this High school). The last one was last year, and he was a year older than me. This time the guy is a year younger than me...
Ok, the one last year we knew it was a suicide. We heard he lynched himself in his garage. A very sad thing concerning I was in his class one year. Yes, he was a year older. We were in a grade 7/8 split class. Incase you were wondering, I'm not using any of there names for confidentiality reasons. I may use their first names though. Anyways, I talked to him a few times, but since he was older, I never really got to know him. It's scary to think I actually spent a whle year who a few years later took his own life...
This year, we heard today. I said that the last one we knew was a suicide, but this one I'm not sure. Though I sincerly doubt it can be anything else. When they announce he had died the night before, with no reason attached, it's a safe bet it was suicide. This guy I knew even less, but his name was familiar, and I remember what he looked like. Now he too is gone. What's ever scarier is that it's practically a year since the last one. 2 deaths, a year apart. I hope that wasn't planned...
One thing I dislike about all of this is the people coming out with their opinions about suicide. Commenting about how it's stupid to even consider suicide, there's always something good... blah, blah, blah. It's like they believe they are right, and the alternative is way wrong. Like, they are saying this, but they are not going through the problems right now. Sometimes these are people who barely have had any major problems, but make it sound like they've been through hell and back again. I'm one to respect peoples opinion, even if i think it's wrong. So these people who choose to take their own lives, I respect that, though I disapprove.
I myself would probably never do it (I say probably, because there's always that 0.01% chance. Nothing is forever.). I believe it's a form of giving up. I'm not one to give up. Also, I believe quotes like "It is better to feel pain, than nothing at all". Though I totally understand that this idea can only be taken to so far. I'm not that much of an idealistic fool. I believe in enjoying every moment. And I try to live by that, but I did say try. lol
Anyways, it would be too much work! I'm the type of person who would write a letter to every single person I know, as a goodbye! A lot of work. PHEW!
Also, it would hurt too many people. I know enough people would go crazy if the thought ever crossed my mind. And I try my best to put others before myself, so this would be the complete opposite of that idea. And we can't be having that. ~_^ I can help a little more by being alive. Though I'm not scared of death. Or at least that's how I feel right now. I can't be absolutely sure, because i've never been put into that situation...
I love you all!
Goodnight and pleasant dreams!
Kevin (Anime Jedi)
JOURNAL: Anime Jedi
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