JOURNAL: Anime Jedi

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  • A full day... 2003-06-17 22:13:28 I started out by watching an episode of Evangelion, "the value of a miracle is..." and Kiki's Delivery Service. I'll comment on how great that movie was tomorrow. lol

    I studied, finally got inspired and felt good about myself, had that feeling shot out of mid air and crash into the Earth, had golf lessongs and came back to studying. Sounds like fun.

    I'm going to have to get to sleep now. Tomorrow morning is the big Physics exam. -_-

    Kevin (Anime Jedi) 
  • What a time to wonder who I am... 2003-06-16 23:15:41 I've been thinking lately, who am I trying to be? I seem to change my mind so often, but one thing is for sure, it's not who I am right now. It's like I'm trying to be something I'm not. I don't mean faking it, I mean striving towards it.

    I'm feeling very insecure about myself right now. I don't know who I am, who I want to be, who I'm trying to be.

    What brings this up? Everytime I see something where a character is portrayed in such a way, I just want to be just like that person. This happens everytime I watch some anime. I just watched Laputa (Castle in the Sky) and I wish I was just like Pazu. I wish I lived without all these distractions. I wish I worked hard everyday for a living. ...Just like Pazu.

    I watch .hack//SIGN and I wish I was just like Tsukasa. I wish I was alone and quiet. I wish I was trapped and always trying to find a way to escape. I wish I was just like him.

    I watch Card Captor Sakura and I wish I was like Sakura. I wish was really busy with school, sports and outside events. I wish I cooked and cleaned. I wish I could be just like her.

    I wish... I wish... I wish I knew why I think tlike this! Everytime I see something new, or even just watch something again, I want to be just like them. You know what this does to me? It makes my whole REAL life go a stray. I'm never prepared for the real things in life, like exams, and university. I have to plan for the future, the future I'm actually going to live. But that's just something I don't seem to know how to handle.

    So here I am. I'm an empty shell. I don't know who I am, or anything like that. I wish I had a single dream that I could solely strive towards, but it's just not there. As long as this continues, I have no purpose, and am practically living a lie. Nothing I do has meaning to it. This can be so frustrating, depressing and... painful.

    What's even worse, is that this always gets on my mind when I have important issues to contend with. Like, right now I have to worry about exams. Why worry about them if they have no meaning to me? There are just somethings I need to do for those I love, like family.

    So here I am today, oblivious about who I am, with a Physics exam on Wednesday. Sure I get all of tomorrow to study, but I barely remember anythign about each unit, and I'm going to have to concentrate to my full potential. Good luck with that.

    Sometimes I just wish I could go on some sort of journey. Just leave home, with a back pack on my back, and head off. Not knowing where I'm going or when I'll be back, but with only one goal in mind, to find myself. I don't care how long it'd take or what'd happen to me, I just want to do it. But there's one major problem with the whole plan, it's this. Anime tends to sugar coat the journeys the heroes go on. Most of the time, you don't see the everyday struggles. You don't seem the characters when they're at their absolute low point. So when you think of a journey, you think of having a great time, with lots of walking.

    This only brings me crashing back to reality. Like in Pokémon, they're always journeying. It's almost always trails, open landscapes, and a town over the next hill. First off, If I tried that, most of the walking would be through brush. Next, when was the last time you saw an open landscape in a place where there has been no trace of civilization? I just realized that if people didn't down so many trees, most of the world would be trees. Ever notice that the places where people haven't built yet is all forest, unless it was previously used for farming a long time ago, right? And 3rd, it takes a bit longer to walk between towns. Not only that, chances are that between those towns is still urban area. And there's almost always a road between the 2, because the fastest way between 2 points is a straight line. Kinda takes all the fun out of something as simple and fun like Pokémon.

    So with going on a journey out of the picture, what am I supposed to do? Find a valley high on mechanical engineering, but low on technology, live there and become an apprentice (Laputa)? Or should I find a job, devote my life to it, and enjoy it as best as I can (Spirited Away, in a way I mean)? Or should I devote my life to fighting, getting stronger, and killing my enemies (Shadow Skill)? Why do I ******* torture myself with ideas that I'll never be able to live out.

    So many questions, so little answers...

    Kevin (Anime Jedi) 
  • My contacts are irritating my eyes... 2003-06-16 17:33:00 Lately my contacts have been bugging me. I don't know why though. It's quite odd. Maybe I ripped one of them. Then again, one hurts at the very beginning, and it's the other that hurts later on in the day... -_-

    I finally got around to watching Laputa (Castle in the Sky). When I first started it, I thought it was going to be boring because the animation of the characters looked pretty old. Well, I was definitely wrong. After the first bit, it was non-stop action practically. It was very eventful, and a good plot. The music was nice, and ending was also good. I have to admit I was quite impressed. My only complaint was the voice acting for the English dubbed version. I thought Anna Paquin was awesome, but James Van der Beek (sp?) could have been better. What makes voice acting good is the speed and tone. He spoke too fast in many parts. It only shows that it's a dubbed by trying to cram in all the words in a short period of time. And his voice seemed too old for the Pazu (I think that was his name).

    Song playing:
    -Key of the Twilight (from .hack//SIGN) (I love this song)

    I haven't reviewed any AMVs in a long time. I don't know why though. I guess you can say I'm taking a long break. Hmmm... I barely post, and I haven't made any reviews. Things have been pretty busy.

    I've also been slowly watching my Futurama DVD set. I guess I got tired of seeing all my money be put to just filling my shelves. lol Anyways, you know how I said the first episode was pretty boring. Well, I guess you could say that was it for boring, because past that it's been pretty good. The 2nd was much better, and I'm now on the 4th.

    AS for my anime DVDs, I just have to know watch Kiki's Delivery Service and a Sakura Wars DVD. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not. I really should study for my Physics exam, but I can't find to be able to drive myself to it. I feel very un-motivated. Speaking of that, I feel asleep AGAIN. This time from 4:30pm to 5:00pm. I have no idea why anymore. I'm getting the same sleep as usual, but it doesn't seem to be enough now. It's not like I plan to sleep either, I just lie down while watching tv, and once the show I was watching is over, I'm out. I just stretch out and close my eyes... BAM! I'm sleeping. -_-

    I have soccer tonight at 9:00pm. I hope we don't play another team who's going to kick us in the behind extremely hard again. lol Actually, I wouldn't mind it, because then if we make a mistake, it doesn't matter. ^_^ I finally got my painting and everything back from art. Maybe if I get a chance, I'll find a way to take a picture of it and post it on my site. I've been messing around with that site lately. Nothing special at all, and I mean that, but I have a few more links. I'm not sure how to use graphics on my site though without killing the little bandwidth I actually get on Geocities though... so I guess the finished product will seem a little bland. lol

    Kevin (Anime Jedi) 
  • Fathers Day! 2003-06-15 19:38:30 Altpower:
    One entry late. lol -_- Anyways, you think so too that my banners are easily noticeable? I'm actually starting to like that, because all my first ones are going to be like that. Well, until I run out of pics and catch phrases to use! lol

    Today is Fathers Day. I'm no father yet (lololol), so I celebrated it for my father. I did like for Mothers Day and made a cube card. I was tired of regular cards, so I made a cube and wrote on the inside of all 6 sides. ~_^

    My dad decided to go golfing with my little brother and his friend (our neighbour). They invited me, but I really didn't feel like it. I felt kinda guilty about not joining them on Fathers Day, so I baked some double decker brownies. Mmmm... =P

    During the day, my neighbour (my brother's friend's sister) was tanning outside with her friend. You know, mini top and mini shorts. 0_0 Trust me, it was hard to focus on baking. lol

    After I was finished, I feel asleep AGAIN with my legs curled up on my chair, and my torso and head laying on my bed. I think I did this yesterday or Friday or something. I need to work on my will power. I used to always be tired, but never actually let myself fall asleep... I guess staying up till 3:00am on the card was pretty harsh. lol -_-

    I burned 4 more CDs of AMVs yesterda. That makes a total of 48 now. Why do I bother burning them? It's like a permanent harddrive. I don't want to lose any of all your vids but my harddrive can only handle so much. So this way if I ever need to delete some in order to make room, I won't be afraid of losing them forever.

    I also made another music CD. This makes 3 complete ones. I named them "Mystical" 1 through 3. Works perfectly considering my stereo hold 3 CDs. Why "Mystical"? Beats me. I just wanted to give it a title one day, and used a word that I liked the sound of it. I also use colour CDs. They're blue, green and purple.

    VERY WEIRD!
    I was in the middle of typing, and my computer just went to Standby. This is the 2nd this has ever happened to me while writing a Journal entry. Very weird...

    Gotta go study some more... ~_^

    Kevin (Anime Jedi) 
  • How can I make this all work... 2003-06-14 12:10:41 Princess Saku:
    Well, if you ever want to, you can always send me the pic and I'll resize it for you. It's no problem at all. I use Photoshop so often now, and most of the time it's for resizing a picture to fit better. So if you ever want to, don't be afraid to take up my offer. ^_^

    Oh, and be sure to say hi back to Amanda for me. ~_^

    Other:
    I split up all my notes, into 3 piles, each for each exam I have. Nothing for gym, because I have no exam in that class. Too bad, it would definitely be the easiest. lol

    Art, Interior Design and Physics... should be fun. -_-

    Kevin (Anime Jedi) 
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