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hi there
2005-02-08 19:34:24
hi it's 6:16 pm here I can't really talk now but thought I would write you something. My aim buddy is great he seems to actually understand me and the attraction I feel for him isn't just physical which is new for me hehe anyways we talk alot and I really enjoy that. We are supposed to meet this weekend and to tell the truth I might be shy at frist but not for long I'm really looking forward to it I have talked to him on the phone and we even did picutres he's a cutie lol but we connect on so many levels and I haven't ever did that with anyone yeah most of the guys I have went out with or been friends never clicked with me the way we do or even any of my friends they never really knew the true me. And that is one of the reasons's why I'm not really friends with them anymore but I do still talk to them but I wear my mask. Tres is a great friend but even though I can talk to her and be myself I don't think she really understands me but atleast she tries.
It's wierd how me and my aimer click I've told him some things that I haven't ever told anyone else. It's a nice change and he seems to understand me and he talks to me as he really is there are no masks with us. and even though I feel bare to him and it is a tad scary that he knows the realy me he doesn't care he accepts me for who I am. oh well don't get jealouse I still love you guys! lol
anyways another aim buddy of mine likes my poetry asked me to write a new poem for him and well I haven't written on in months but once I got down to it I wrote alot. mainly dark ones but I'm not depressed and out of all the random sentences I wrote telling how I fell sometimes two poems were born. they are ok anyways before tonight is through I will post a new entry it's a note I had written in 1997 to my mom. I found it about a year ago and she read it and broke down so did I and ever one else that read it that day anyways I lost it after that but found it yesterday I will post it for you guys tonight I promise.
well gotta go back to my rents house my sister and neice and nephew are there gotta go protect my mom my sister is nice but she has problems and doesn't seem to understand that she can't dump them on my mom it makes my mom depressed even more oh and one more thing a few days back I was over at my rents house and well my mom was talking to my sister on the phone and when she got off she told us that my sis's ex had taken the kids for the weekend but had his ex around them Grrrrr mad anyways my dad said the she was stupid and needed to wake up my mom broke down and said for him not to call her stupid atleast in front of her. My dad broke down and started to cry and they both sat there holding eachother crying It was one of the saddest times in my life to see them in such pain it broke my heart they love us kids so much and it pains both of them to see my sister also in pain oh well I really gotta go
kisses
leala ann -
vannie nap time lol
2005-02-07 12:47:21
savanna is sleeping now gotta have a smoke lol I'm retarded looking in my pic X_X I'm currently pulling the few poems I have copies of and making a new book might even write some new stuff I haven't done that in a long time! I'm not depressed just kinda feel creative I know I should work on my fiction but well (whinning) I don wanna!!!! HM! spoiled hmm maybe selfish yes but I don't wanna!! :-( laundry day sicks badly I'm doing it over at mom's since vannie and zach are there stupid machines!! I feel so stupid hate them!! can barely work um new fangled frikin stuff!! I even kicked it but well I hurt my foot can I have a kissy?? :-* thanks lol
I finally figured it out though trial and error my pants are probably gonna shrink but thats good they are way to big anyways. voting on banners are fun and yes I have no life
hmm I wish I was photogenic but I'm not to tell the truth I think my head looks too small and my hair is the wrong color and well I look fat!!!! but then again my bro took it but still I wanna cry I don't really look like that in real life I know you are think SURE YOU DON'T but I don't honestly
Oh well my aim buddy isn't on I'm lonely so you guys can keep my company oh and my shirt in the pic says It's not me it's you
I like it it's SO true not really but oh well you don't talk back so what I says goes!! Mwahaha! I don't even want to check my email I know I should be receiving hate mail by now from my betas, milk-chan, and my reviewers
I'm so mean not updating but well I just don't WANNA!!! procarstinator to the nil hehe as it is I was supposed to clean house this morning and well I avoided it by labeling sutff makes me wonder if perhaps I am phsyco after all lol I love this song it's called butterfly and it's by DDR great techno stuff gives me energy well gotta run found more of my old poetry and gotta put it in the "new" book I could kill my dad for throwing out my life's work but it was an accident after all but a nice swift kick to his side would make me feel a lil better I gave up my novels and biography cause well I am lazy but anyways I was going to become famous through my poetry but well :_( I wanna cry my life's work oh my life's work out with the garbage grrr if I could hate I would hate my dad but well I still feel guilt he didn't mean to but well hell it sucked to hard! now I have to start over I couldn't get any sadder looking right now!!! grrrrrr mad grrrrrr okay take deep breath in out in out clear mind but well CRAP I am mad!!! I went through a lot of stuff to finally get it back and now it's gone never to return I know you are thinking I am stupid it was just stupid used paper but well it held alot of my feelings and thoughts and memories and well medicated now I don't think I could write such deep meaningful poetry again hmm might try though but it would seem pale in comparison I had poetry in there from well middle school my first ever poem and well it's gone and with my memory there is no way in hell I would ever remember it oh well look at me blah blah blah sorry to bore you gotta run
kisses
leala -
it's on there
2005-02-07 10:45:11
ok my pics on my site leala.zoomshare be warned it's a crapy pic that makes me look FAT!!!
:_(
plus my hair looks red and well it's not anyway check it out if you want a good laugh
kisses
leala -
hi
2005-02-07 08:33:24
writting cause I need to it's gonna be short sorry I have really been neglecting you anyways writting before I go watch vannie lol
note to all I'm gonna postmy pic today Hurray!! I decided not to dye my hair black this color is fine for now I guess
note to knives: hey no talkie last night you ok?
anyway I am really really behind on my fiction :_( I'm so bad hehe anyways I need to get on the ball lots of stuff to accomplish today
didn't sleep again last night this is me X_X hehe funny yeah funny hmm tech tv is gonna start a new show soon looks good forgot the title if you know email it to me PLEASE!?! I would love ya for well forever
gotta run literally it's ucky outside raining I think oh well my mom seems depressed today gotta figure out a way to cheer her up she found out some how that I didn't sleep last night I hope she doesn't worry oh well got some cleaning done but got laundry and still need to clean I kinda got obsessed with cleaning my bathroom oh well I get like that alot labeling everything don't know why guess cause when I slack off I really slack off lol anyway tres and I are going out on the 14 but I will make sure to write you guys in something sexy I did promise you after all
well gotta really go now I have just run on and on and now I am kinda late
kisses and sorry I haven't really been writting I will make sure to write more why? well cause I love you guys you never talk back LOL why? well cause you can't (evil laughter follows my retreating back)
leala -
all this attention!!
2005-02-04 23:51:07
Hi all I know I am giving you SO much attention! Why? Because I LOVE you guys hehe anyways
I got vannie to bed and took a shower I feel so refreshed! I have my new silk pjs on their magenta colored!! I know you know why I am really writting I am finding lil excuses so that I don't have to write on my fictions hehe oh well I do really have to go now (sighs) I hope I can write you guys tomorrow
kisses
leala ann
JOURNAL: slave 4 anime (Leala scott)
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