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When it's all mixed up, better break it down
2003-11-01 01:27:40
Ahhhhhh, yeah. This couldn't come at a better time.
It's November. November means National Novel Writing Month, http://www.nanowrimo.org. If you're on LiveJournal, chances are you've heard somebody or other (quite possibly me) babbling about it lately. It's a giant writing orgy where people challenge themselves to write an entire book, or book-length story, really, in 30 days. Needless to say, this is not as long as it usually takes to write a story. It's usually on the order of a year or two. So, yeah. As you might imagine, it gets interesting.
This is my second year in the running, and since this year's idea is a bit harder than last year's I hope to pour most of my effort into that. So I'll be ignoring the forums entirely unless somebody points me there, and my projects, while alive, are back-burnered for now. At least until I get my footing on the story. Last year I worked on a video (F&F) to unwind between writing sprees, and although the result wasn't so great I may do something similar this year. (Uh, in the work schedule, not in the results. *twitch*)
It's two-thirty already? Crap. Well, at least I more than hit my goal for Saturday.
So in short: less of me here. Good news. ;)
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2003-10-28 21:55:26
(I don't know why I'm still using this journal - a place to corral all my vid-based ramblings, I guess.)
Bwah? Another for the "...this doesn't have any vids yet?" pile: Neil Young's "Heart of Gold." C'mon people, it's the only Neil Young song that doesn't suck, in my book.
Kids these days. ;)
Though it is harder to work with classic rock than a lot of other genres. I had to ditch my "Ziggy Stardust" video in the end, because it was just too slow-moving and there wasn't much to hang the visuals from. I know somebody could do a better job than that with it, but I was definitely fighting my way out of a damp paper bag the whole time.
(Yeah, it may as well be official. Vid 8a, "Sin's Right Hand," another Yami no Matsuei vid, about Oriya and Muraki's friendship - entirely platonic kthx - is dead. D-e-d, dead. And unlike Muraki, it will not rise from the dead in an inadequately explained [at least in the anime] deus ex machina.
Ah well, so it goes.)
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... Oh. Em. Gee.
2003-10-26 20:39:50
And here I thought I was just being my mildly paranoid self, but it turns out that I narrowly missed ... holy shit. I don't even know what I missed. Making an entire vid into which I would have poured a lot of personal emotion and time only to have to scrap it at the last minute, most likely. That would have sucked something major. Just thinking about that kind of wasted effort makes me want to cry, and it *didn't even happen*.
So thank you turboneko for asking what the song was, and thank you ENDLESSLY, AD, for putting the brakes on it.
I could faint.
Of course, the dig about my originality wasn't necessary, since I didn't KNOW there was an ubervid already being made to that song - I had no way of knowing! - but I still vastly, VASTLY appreciate the heads-up. You have no idea.
I don't know if it's - if mine is going to be made at all, now. I think I still love the song. I don't think anything can wholly destroy that; it's one of the only songs I know that bridges two phases of my life like that. But I don't know if I could put a hand to it for an AMV. It would feel cheap and lame, copycatting, even though I didn't know about the ubervid when I came up with my idea.
I can't help being dumb and unoriginal. I'm sorry. I do my best, but it's still not good enough.
You know, listening to it again, the original, I mean, I don't know if I even should have attempted it anyway. Not because of its being done, but just because I don't think I could do my own reaction justice. So to speak.
I've talked about this before - you know how people make those "I poured my entire heart and soul into this tribute to my girlfriend" videos? Well, I could never do that, but on the order of reflecting something personal in a creative work, it'd be somewhere along those lines. And I would want to do that right. You know? I wouldn't want to make a subpar tribute video either, if I were in that position. If it comes from a place that's important to you, even if it's something as fannish and dorky as an anime fanvid, you want it to be the best work you could possibly make. Just to do it justice.
This concept, this idea of finding your strength after you've been in the darkness for so long, I don't think I could do it justice. Not now, at least. Maybe someday, but not now.
So the Setokai vid is off. If I do decide to attempt it, nobody's getting it except from me directly.
I have to stop listening to this song and listen to "Get In Line" for a while. Something happy. I'm not sad, just relieved/overwhelmed.
I want to keep my present project alive. Watching other people's vids has put a damper on it again - I seem to have two modes, audience mode and editor mode. And I can't flip between them very easily. Sometimes I want to make something new, and sometimes I just want to sit back and soak things in. But although it's entirely lame and typical of me - oh LOVELY, another boring slow video! - I would still like to see this one through.
I have a little bit of personal reflection on this one too, but only very faintly. I guess that's *a* reason to keep it alive.
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2003-10-25 00:17:55
Still love the present project, which doesn't get a number because the numbers got too confusing, and doesn't have a neat codename because I suck at names as it is.
Anyway. Still love it. The song is seeming WAY too short now, which is a Very Good Thing. *tired, wavery thumbs-up* That moment when the song seems too short instead of too long is always a watershed moment.
Collapsey time. -
2003-10-24 18:57:29
go SEE my doctor about this...yes, I can comprehend the English language. Sometimes I can even write it in those squiggly little symbols.
JOURNAL: SarahtheBoring (Sarah B')
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