JOURNAL: SarahtheBoring (Sarah B')

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  • 2004-02-06 17:47:16 that'd be :/ - backslashes apparently muck something up. oops. 
  • Confession 2004-02-06 17:46:43 I have to admit, I didn't watch one of the vids on the VCA slate. Anything from Saikano freaks me out; I can't take it. I have this, y'know, psychological thing about couples with huge age differences - and although I haven't seen the series, they look like they're, like, 50 and 8 years old.

    Which probably explains the series' popularity, but I can't watch it.

    I really am sorry. :
     
  • 2004-02-04 20:58:51 Voting ends Feb. 15?! Fuck! That's a LOT of stuff to download in 11 days.

    Oh well, I'm on it. Gives me more stuff to watch, at least.
     
  • 2004-02-04 20:50:50 Well, it turns out they were mocking the fact that I write too clearly, or something the fuck like that, I actually am sick of hearing about it. If they're going to be dicks, let 'em.

    Good thing!! Apparently AniMix 4 will be out soon! XD

    My track is like a quadrillion years old now - I actually did mine *when I was assigned,* unlike my slackerish behavior with the FFVI Project - and it's goofy as hell and badly edited and follows a big-time editor's track - but I'm still glad it'll be out. First participation in a multi-editor project. Pretty exciting, huh. Well, for me it is, at least. ;)

    So that's cool. I don't know when it'll be out, but I guess it's on its way. Spiff.

    Oh, here we go: it's listed now.
    http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members/members_videoinfo.php?v=31565

    Hope it'll be downloadable soon. *thumbs-up*

    (Quick: Which anime is the one I used? Ahaha, yeah, I know. Well, I had the files prepped from working on "Life in Death," which I'd finished just before joining this. And my, um, giant... list... of source goes on.) 
  • Is it over now? Do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home? 2004-02-02 21:58:07 so here's the explanation.

    I don't think anyone can really understand how much it hurts me that everyone here thinks I'm stupid and illiterate. I really don't think they can. But I can try to explain.

    Stupid:

    I've known all my life that my mind is all I have going for me. I was never THE smartest kid in class, but I held my own, graduated eleventh in my class, etc. etc. etc. And being hideously ugly as I am (no, that's not being modest, I really am, like, inhuman-looking), I knew that I would only have my mind to rely on in life.

    And I always felt confident that I could figure a way out of anything, because I could see things from different angles and puzzle my way through. It was my only asset. No joke. I relied on it. It was all my family valued me for, and one of the only things I could be proud of.

    So now you all say I'm stupid. That leaves me totally worthless, doesn't it. It's like taking my life away. If I were truly stupid, I may as well be dead.


    Illiterate:

    This just... this cuts me like you wouldn't believe. I loved reading before I loved music, even. I can't remember not loving it. I know some people find it a chore, but in my family it's something you do; it's like breathing. And after sleeping it's one of my favorite activities on earth - more than any of this, that's for damn sure. And you see how much time I put into this hobby. That's a distant, distant third or fourth to reading. I can't imagine not doing it; it would be like having a limb cut off.

    On top of that, although I've never been very serious about it, I've been writing as a hobby since I was a little kid. Stories, first, though I've found journaling to be a great outlet in recent years (I started keeping journals when I was seventeen).

    Everybody needs a little escape from the daily grind, and reading and writing are mine.

    So now, something I said *sarcastically* was cut short, quoted wildly out of context, and everyone now thinks I'm a fucking moron who can't even read or write. And they think that's funny.

    They think it's *funny.*

    You just... I don't know if anyone can understand that. Imagine everything you've ever been proud of, everything you felt were your strengths. EVERYTHING. Everything everyone's ever complimented you on, everything anyone's ever liked about you, everything you were ever even a little bit good at, everything that makes you happy.

    Now take it all away.

    And imagine people laughing at you because of it, and thinking it's true.

    I don't know if anyone can really understand that at all.
     
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