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Long. Everything. Why? Rambling. Dunno.
2004-10-10 22:38:47
Yay. Now to scan until my scanner goes up in flames.
I've realized something, a reason - possibly *the* reason - why I felt like I was burning out on editing. I have to like a series to work with it. No, not just that, I have to edit BECAUSE I like the series. "I have to make more videos because I make videos now and video makers make them and that's just what you have to do" is really not cutting it anymore. The enjoyment of editing doesn't exist in a vacuum anymore; it's become secondary. Or maybe it's become enough of a pain in the ass that I need another reason to bother with it.
In other words, I have to be enthused about the series, or a particular plot or idea or character, and want to share it.
This doesn't bode well in that I can exhaust my enthusiasm for editing in a series, thereby limiting my source even more. For example, I think I've burned out on Utena. I still love the series, of course. Still my favorite. But everyone knows it, I don't have anything new to add to the fandom at large, and I don't feel that "oh my god, this is so cool, I want to plug this to EVERYONE" feeling anymore.
Or, at least, I-want-to-share-this-to-the-world-ism makes it a lot easier to want to bother when the going gets tough.
I don't mean that I have to have an audience, or exposure. Oh, my scanner-exploding idea is playing to an audience of one; I won't be able to upload it here (it's manga, not anime) and it's not something that the org would like at all. So literally the numbers don't matter. It's more a potential sharing. I want to pay tribute to things that entertain me. That's fun, to me. But once that wears off, it feels like a steeper climb.
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Now I wonder about Azumanga Daioh. The last disc comes out next month, of course, and I still don't have any definitive ideas for it. Some maybes, but nothing that really lights a fire under my butt, you know? Given that it's my second favorite series, this is extremely odd. Hm. Maybe because it's already exTREMEly popular in AMV circles, and I'm lazy enough to just let everybody else work with it. I do gravitate to the roads less traveled by in this fandom; even in heavily vidded series (say, Utena) I've tended to go with less vidded subjects (say, Mikage). Azumanga Daioh is the darling of half the AMV world. It's in good hands. I may just leave it at that.
Though as I think I mentioned once, my sister did have a pretty cute idea that I may give a try sometime.
And naturally, Gravitation ends its release schedule at right about the same time as AzuDaioh. I *do* have ideas for that, two of them, and I am DYING to start on one of them.
...you know, colliding those two trains of thought: that may be why I've done so many slashy videos. Because everyone has DONE the hetero ones already, sixty or seventy times. Yeah, there are other editors working in Yami fandom, in Gravi fandom, and some of them are really good. But there aren't *as* many of them, and they aren't as universally known. I don't feel like I'm riding anyone's coattails, as I would if I worked in, say, AMG or Evangelion or (now, increasingly) Utena.
...that and my main het ideas involve Trigun, and my cousin STILL hasn't given my DVDs back. Blergh! I have Hellsing back now, and I do like some of the interactions in that (lots of juicy power dynamics), but for some reason Hellsing just hasn't grabbed my AMVing imagination yet.
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Well, November is coming up, and with it a giant writing project under http://www.nanowrimo.org - though, bizarrely, I tend to continue to edit while this madness is going on. Last year I made "Divergence" during Nano, and the year before that, I believe my first real AMV, "Fate and Frustration," overlapped it. It's a sad state of affairs when editing seems like easy work compared to something else. ;)
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And as my final note in this long-ass ramble, if anyone made it to the end of this, once again I'm making an offer to anyone who wants a cosplay costume made for next year's con season (early summer or later).
I like breaking down that stupid, stupid rivalry between AMVing and cosplay, so if you are interested or even vaguely curious, send me a PM or email (I believe my email's in my profile).
I'm too lazy to find pictures of everything presently, but I've done:
Squall - Final Fantasy VIII
St. Tail - Magical Thief St. Tail
Xelloss - Slayers
Black, Red, and White Mages - Final Fantasy I
Summoner - Final Fantasy V
Wedding Peach (battle outfit) - Wedding Peach [though to be fair, the buyer said they hated this costume, although they wouldn't elaborate as to why...]
Vice - King of Fighters
Andy - King of Fighters
Miki - Revolutionary Girl Utena
and presently I'm working on Sailor Saturn.
yes, I did costuming before I did AMVing, and I'm actually not as bad at it as I am at this. Didn't know that, now, did ya?
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2004-10-08 06:51:43
Thaaank you thank you to [theywhoshallremainnameless'causehelpingdirtyslashersisn'tkewl]; I got all my questions answered perfectly. :)
So that one can move on, even though my scanner is kind of crap. As for the other one, I think I'll try working directly with AVS files this time - which previously was too much for my slow computer. I think it can handle it this time, sort of. Let's see - it could be educational.
OK, get ready for work now, slacker. -
Apparently I am sex-obsessed and stupid. Okay!
2004-10-08 00:46:25
Not all that happy with you people. But what else is new, huh? :P
Two projects in the pike - I know, I say that all the time. See, this is why I only release every three or four months. Six projects die before every release I do finish. Consider it Darwinian editing - hopefully only the strongest concepts survive.
Both are just "I Like This Song, Dammit" combined with "I Like This Series, Dammit." omgwtfcliche!!!1one.
I will say this for you all - someone had name-dropped me in a video description, and when I asked them to take it out, they did. THAT is courtesy. I thank you. I still don't know how on earth *anyone* knows who I am when I haven't been played at a single con, but I thank you all the same.
The stupid slasher does need some help, though. I promise I won't thank anyone in the credits (I know you hate that). :/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sarahtheboring/316621.html
I allow anonymous posts, so don't worry about your reputation. I would really appreciate it, since I really love that project and would like to see it carried out.
Though half of my mind says both of these projects are going to die. I'm just tired of being myself. I'm tired of carrying around all of this baggage, what I suppose is the price for what I've done and said. I'm tired of knowing that I have to fight against that kneejerk opinion "Oh, that stupid bitch from the forums. That's by that stupid bitch from the forums. Is that stupid bitch from the forums still here?" And I'm tired of feeling like I have to live up to the last video I've made, like I have to top every one, every time. I'm tired of people asking me if I'm going to send anything to cons. NO. MY VIDEOS SUCK. STOP ASKING. I'm tired of watching my catalog obsessively and nixing projects if they make me look like I use the same things too often. Oh my god, can't do that, you've already used that band. Oh my god, you have way too many slash videos, you're ghettoizing yourself. Oh my god, ANOTHER slow one? You can't do any more slow ones, you've done too many!
I'm tired of everyone else. I'm tired of people who make videos six hundred times better than everything I could ever make BITCHING because they think "less than perfect" equals "suck." Goddammit guys, get some fucking perspective. You're more whiny than I am, and that's saying a whole lot.
I just... want to make things. because it's fun. I'm sick of everything else.
I had thought about trying live-action videos for something different - I had one idea attempting to make Buffy season 6 look like it doesn't suck ;) - but the AMV crowd has moved into that area too, so... it's all the same now. I'm a bit disappointed, though it's not like it's a *bad* thing. Vidding benefits by the bar being pushed up so high that few people can ever reach it, just as AMVing was, I suppose.
Editing would still be fun if I didn't feel so damn *obligated* to edit. I'm free, I don't do cons. I don't HAVE to put out ANYTHING. I should enjoy this; few people enjoy this unknown perk behind being a sucky editor.
Meh. I wish I were good at something. Anything.
Y'know?
Of course you don't.
That's the problem.
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oops, I suck.
2004-10-05 21:37:00
duh. I didn't mean objectively fast; I meant fast compared to my other ones. Compared to most videos out there, "Danse Macabre" moves at a crawl. The only part that's even normally paced is the half-second or so when Hisoka gets psychic flashes in the first "verse" (which... didn't actually happen, but anyway).
It's de rigeur to have a different image for every single beat and note, something I've NEVER done, so... yeah. I didn't mean FAST, I meant fast for me. -
2004-10-05 21:28:09
Caught up now.
So let's see. I'm bored, so let's check my worth as a human being, according to the AMV community. (Known to everyone else as my ratings.)
Like a Burning Star (2003-04-11) [hits: 1011] [ops: 10] [stars: 76] [star avg: 3.51] LOCAL (85)
[Someone on LJ once told me out of the blue that they loved this video, and it made my week. That's all I need. Sniffle.]
Imaginary World (2003-06-15) [hits: 792] [ops: 6] [stars: 78] [star avg: 3.64] LOCAL (82)
Dance of Wind and Rain (2003-08-15) [hits: 709] [ops: 5] [stars: 94] [star avg: 3.41] LOCAL (98)
[still my favorite, and right now has the lowest rating. *pats it on the head*]
Life in Death (2003-09-10) [hits: 1248] [ops: 5] [stars: 194] [star avg: 3.68] LOCAL (217)
[I have no clue why this has so damn many hits. YnM romance videos are a dime a dozen.]
Divergence (My World) (2003-12-04) [hits: 560] [ops: 1] [stars: 58] [star avg: 3.50] LOCAL (65)
[ONE OP, and it has as many downloads as most of the others. One op that told me it sucked. I wonder why it's op-proof like that. Though two people gave ops by email, one of whom actually knew who Moxy Fruvous WAS.]
The Clouded Heart (2004-04-08) [hits: 358] [ops: 3] [stars: 82] [star avg: 3.44] LOCAL (85)
My Own True Love (2004-05-21) [hits: 880] [ops: 3] [stars: 173] [star avg: 3.62] LOCAL (190)
[this has a lot of hits/downloads because Ari apparently plugs it on her Grand List of Shounen-Ai-Esque Videos. Which I haven't seen yet. I wonder where it is. Anyway.]
Danse Macabre (2004-08-25) [hits: 250] [ops: 2] [stars: 65] [star avg: 3.86] LOCAL (74)
[and this one has the highest rating. WHY! Because it's fast? I will beat you all over the head with the badly timed edits in this one. Though I like it too and all, fast does not necessarily equal good.]
Oh, I feel like playing with numbers now.
...
Well, THERE'S an interesting trend. For the hell of it I figured out the hit to download ratio (download / hit * 100 for the percentage), curious about how many people went on to get a video and how many decided not to after seeing the details. From LABS to Divergence it hovered around 10%, but for each of the three after that (Clouded Heart, MOTL, Danse Macabre), it jumped to over 20%. Danse Macabre is the highest at nearly 30%.
How odd. This doesn't mean anything about the quality of the video, obviously - they haven't seen the thing yet. Maybe there are more people dead-set on downloading because they like the songs, or something? Hm. I wonder.
Not that it's important to saving the world; I am just curious.
Of course, it's also telling that at BEST, nearly 70% of the people who click onto the description immediately think "Holy crap, that looks like it sucks!" and get out of there. ;)
I'm bored. I should sew. I did a lot yesterday and had to cook today, so I'm lazy... maybe I'll rip some things for what might be my next project. Maybe.
JOURNAL: SarahtheBoring (Sarah B')
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