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* cough cough cough cough *
2002-05-08 15:34:56
God I can't stop coughing. Damn those cigarettes. And I am in the library, so I feel weird coughing like a maniac so I just keep holding them in, and then when I feel like I am gonna burst I let out a big cough.
OK It's gone now.
On my way today school to take my Philosphy final (didn't study of course, which shouldnt surprise anyone. Final wasn't too hard, though. Writing total BS is my specialty) Crap the cough is back. Anyway as I was saying, on my way here I got a great idea for another video. So now the song is on repeat on my portable CD player and I keep going into trances, imagining what clips and effects I will put in. I go into these trances all the time. I call them the "tunnel". It's tunnel vision to the extreme. The other day I was walking to work and I was in tunnel mode and I was crossing the street. I didn't even realize I was crossing the street. I was very close to being road kill. AMVing may be the end of me.
Smokers Denial: I dont think the cough is from the cigarettes. Must be something stuck in my throat
Lol in 11 days I will legally be able to buy cigarettes. Can't really say why I smoke in the first place. I don't do it everyday cuz my parents would kill me. Only do it when I am at school or out with my brother and anywhere besides my home city where someone I know might see me . When I was living on campus I smoked like half a pack a day. Now that I live at home one pack could last me for weeks. Talk about stale cigarettes. Can't say its peer pressure. Not that I don't have any smoker friends. I just dont have any friends period. Oh well my brother is always around for entertainment. This could be me trying to rebel again. Jeez, I am so childish. OK enough about my bad habits.
Very excited about this weekend. An anime (and everything else) shopping spree for me!!! I should buy another HD too and some more RAM. I almost had to take my computer to the ER the other night. Poor thing. Such a piece of crap but it does it's best to please his mommy. Speaking of moms, I gotta get a gift for my mom for Mother's day. I never know what to get her. Too bad she doesnt like anime. Actually I should find some spanish dubbed anime. Maybe I could get her into it. Hehehe. Well that's it for now.
Ps- I happen to be in a good mood. For now -
Blah Blah Blah
2002-05-08 09:21:17
Begin normal entry:
I am planning on going to Chinatown in Manhattan on Saturday. I wanted my bro to come with me but he has to study for a final. So I think I will go alone. Hehehe. My mom will probably have kittens when I tell here that I am going to the city by myself. She doesnt even like it when I go with my brother. Shes gonna ask to come along I know it. I love my mommy and all but I am gonna have to say no and put my little foot down cuz I am tired of being treated like a little baby. I dont have a curfew cuz I am not allowed to be out at night. I will be 18 in 11 days. When I was living at school I could do what I wanted, come home at 9 in the morning or sleep over my (at that time) boyfriends house. But I hate that school. So I dont regret it. But jeez. give me a break. My mother's sheltering is probably the cause of my extreme shyness and insecurity around people. But oh well. So the point of this was to say that I am going to Chinatown this Saturday. Maybe I'll drop by Little Italy and practice my Italian on some random hot Italian guy that hardly knows English. It's funny cuz Little Italy and Chinatown are literally right next to each other. There this one street where Little Italy ends and Chinatown begins pretty much almost on the same street. Hmm I also might go visit some anime stores that are in the city too. Hehe. I need some wall scrolls and some new anime to watch. ::stares evily at the paycheck on the desk:: (evil villain laugh) HAHAHAHAHA
End normal entry
Begin weird personal life type of stuff:
I hate job. I need to get out of here. You dont understand how stupid and rude the people are here. Just cuz I am young and a female people feel its alright to brush me off or curse at me. I hate the city where my job is. I don't go out anymore to buy lunch cuz I don't like being stared at, whistled at, and touched by strangers (I was once in McDonald's getting my boss coffee and some guy decided he liked me so he pinched my freakin hip). Men can be such pigs. It disgusting. Although I miss having someone around, I have found that ever since my last boyfirned cheated on me, I have become less trusting of men in general. I cant even see myself married cuz I doubt I would ever be able to trust someone again. And I wouldnt blame anyone if they didnt trust me either. Then again who knows? The perfect guy for me might come around on day and sweep me off my feet. But I doubt there is a guy out there that would meet my standards: most like anime, must be clean...bascially he just has to like the things I do. I dont need a boyfriend who I never see cuz he is out doing his thing while I am doing mine. Attractiveness is a plus but not really necessary. Though it seems easy enough, nice guys are hard to come by. I guess its cuz I would probably like a guy who was shy and a loner like myself, and if they are anything like me they wouldnt be haning out in a bar or club. They would be home, sitting at the comp or watching anime alone. Maybe I should start knocking on randon doors to find some loners like myself.
End weird personal life type of stuff
- 2002-05-07 07:58:54 Well I finally finished my Waltz vid last night. I compressed it and now I can't freaking upload it. AHHHHH!! When I need to do soemthing important my dial up doesnt like staying connected. When I am just fooling around online I never get booted. Maybe I will try to upload at school when I take my Philosophy final tomorrow. Might be the only way I can get it online. Hmmm
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2002-05-06 13:19:08
Hmm it over. I took the goddamn final. Only wrote 3 of the 4 essays I was suppsoed to write. And I BSed the 3 I did write. Oh well. Too late to be upset now. Only one more final to go (which I am not worried about) and a final paper and I am DONE!!!
Enigma2K: Thanx. I always get a stomachache when I am nervous. Havent had one in awhile cuz I dont really care about much anymore. LOL. But now the stomachache is gone. By the way Ive been to Sienna before., I went there for a leadership camp (I know, I know. I am a dork). Albany is nice. WOuld rather live there than in the dump I live in now.
Well enough of this. Must go back to work. People must think I am a journal fiend.. Hehehe - 3 post winthin a 2hours 2002-05-06 08:16:16 I need a friend
JOURNAL: StarKissdMoon
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