-
{-_-}
2002-07-30 03:26:50
::sigh::
so i guess the whole apartment business trouble i've been having is finally getting settled down. my roommate found a couple guys willing to rent out the other room in our apartment. we're officially sticking to dartmouth court...its a pretty nice two bedroom/two bath apartment. really spacious and nice. its cost an arm and a leg but its still quite a ways cheaper then the other apartment complex we were lookin at (which was smaller and uglier). ah well, i just hope those two guys she's metting tomorrow are serious about getting a place. if they do decide they don't want to room w/ us by wednesday, then, we're screwed out of $600 and deep in a shit load of trouble trying to find a studio apt for cheap. and findign one that would be affordable for two low-income full-time students will not be a pretty situation for us at this late in the game. talk about beign screwed over by procrastination. gah... -_-;;
anyway... traveling from here to school is quite a hassle. its about an hour and a half to two hours drive...but it still is a hassle. especially since my mom seems to have this habbit of getting drowsy when she drives on the freeway way too long and she asks me to entertain her so she won't fall asleep. er...that's a bit hard to do since whenever we talk...its mostly to fight or discriminate against each other. -_- sad, is it not? exatly wat do you talk about w/ ur mother when you're driving alone w/ her in a car. gah....
i've just realized i've gotten out of touch w/ some aspects of my mentality and ideology. forever searchin, doncha think? eh, yeah. anyway, i'm not much to cohesive right now...so i should stop....oy.... -
{^_^}
2002-07-29 04:47:41
just like to wish my bro...
Happy Birthday!
he's 16 now.... -
{-_-}
2002-07-27 21:03:15
goodness gracious....
a week has passed since the last time i was online. damn....i seriously haven't really been doin much but i just can't seem to get online. i can berely check my email. at any rate, this tues i'll be shoppin w/ my uncle for some ram. definitly need it. heh... i'll be going to irvine tomorrow and wednesday for apartment business and ::cough::school business::cough:: heh.... apparently i have bad grades. but not to get into that.... i can't wait for thursday to come cuz it'll just be the bench crew chillin at my house. definitly a fun thing whenever we're together. gah....i can't even stay long enough to write all that i want to say in this journal entry. to cut it short...i'm workin on two vids at the same time at a very very VERY (i can't stress this enough) very slow pace. heh...but i'm workin on them. when i do manage to get my ram all set up and my comp all better...i'll be sending my first vid that i made to omni and hopefully he'll leave an opinion for it. and possibly host it for me as well... anyway....i don't know when that will be but i want to get that vid up and viewed. :P anyway...
personal conflict of the week: religion -_-; oy....
personal conflict for next week: housing and school -_-;; double oy.... -
{#_#}
2002-07-15 03:21:04
gah...
my comp is crapping out on me. like...just crapping. the mouse freeze if i'm on more then one application. the blue screen pops up way too often. restart is ever 5 mins. i so need to get more ram. oy....i'm so broke! and i have no job! AAAAHHHHH!! half my summer is gone and i have nothing to show for it. -_-; i should have gone to chicago when i had the chance...oy vey!
anyway...i came up with this ultra incredible idea for a vid. so i'm kinda in the middle of two vids right now. though i'm putting the other one off becuase i know my comp can't handle it. this new idea will be a pretty small file...i'm hoping it'll also be short though at the rate i'm playing it, it looks like it could run to three mins. and i thought it would be around a min and a half. ah well, watever. i'm pretty excited about it. but like, my crappy comp won't let me get that far in it. i have to restart every five mins so it's painstakingly draining when you have to save every move you make and constantly pray from the second you open premiere to the second the error message pops up. ::sigh:: at this rate it would take me a whole month (non-stop) to finish this vid. oy... -
{-_-}
2002-07-11 03:09:23
some things you preach about and it never truly gets into ur thick skull until you experience it for urself. you know wat you did was wrong but you do it anyhow and you still end up regretting it all. some things are just taken for granted way too much and goes unappreciated way to easily. i'm tired of so many things that i live through day to day and i know they will never go away...but i'm tired. i'm so tired i'm not sure if i have much in me to keep on holding on to the goals i've set for myself. and the worst feelin in the world is doubting urself...doubting and truly feeling unsure of who and what u are and if you're pushin yourself to the right direction. its almost suffocating. fear is suffocating. and lessons learned are the worst pain...becuase they do not affect you physically where you can recover with ease...but they affect you emotionally where the scar goes beyond ur heart but also deep within ur soul. i've learned a very important lesson and i fear i may pay for it with everything that i hold dear to me. there are few things that i regret doing. and wat just happened yesterday was one of them. but that's something that i choose not to disclose. it was just one of those days...one of those damn days. where you want to rip everything apart, punch a hole into everything that stands before your eyes, and burn the world to the ground until the black ash blows white against the wind and you lie in a deep bed of dust. but at the same time its one of those days where you want to hide in a dark cornor with the softest blanket in the world wrapped tight around you and the nicest person hugging you, slowly petting ur hair and whispering that everything will be okay, and you just sit there and weep and they still say that everything is okay. you know...just one of those days.
::sigh:: when you know ur world is about to fall apart and you can see it slowly crumble before your eyes...wat exactly do you do? wat exactly are you supposed to feel? are you supposed to feel this...numb?
JOURNAL: priuscomet
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