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SPREAD THE LOVE!
2010-07-26 16:16:05
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http://orpheelin.deviantart.com/art/Spread-the-Love-DA-172766753?q=boost%3Apopular+meta%3Aall+max_age%3A24h&qo=6 - HELP!!! 2010-06-07 19:46:28 Somebody slap me in the face and dunk me in cold water! I'm watching Harry Potter movies and I like them!!!!!!
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Muhahahaha!
2010-05-15 21:35:04
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes!
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes! -
Why I can't run a cult.
2010-02-22 01:35:02
I’ll admit it – I’m egotistical. I like it when people praise me and the things I do. And I love the thought of having others do things for me, leaving me with the free time to pursue what I wish. (Actually, come to think of it, who doesn’t think this way?)
My advantage is that I’m a highly intelligent, highly creative insane person who knows she’s insane and views it as a potential weapon as opposed to a handicap. The only thing keeping all of humanity and the world safe from my army of evil hamsters and my reign as dictator/goddess of the new world is my laziness.
Yes, I am lazy. And antisocial. The definition of a cult is that it is a gathering of people. I dun’t like people. They talk too much. And they think too much. I’d want them to do what *I* want them to do, but would they listen? Nooo… I’d be like, “Hey! This is the way you should view the world!” and they’d be like, “P-shaw! Why should we?” And I’d be like, “Because I said so, that’s why!” And they’d be like, “Pft! You’re not the boss of me!” And I’d be like, “LiGhTnInG bOLt!” and then nothing would happen, and they’d be like, “Whatever, spaz…”
And then even if I DID have followers, I’m sure after a while, they would annoy me. All the singing and praising of my name at all hours of the day and night. Eventually I’d stick my head out the window and shout, “Shut up, you noisy humans!” And they’d be like, “Our Master has given us a command! Master be praised!” and I’d be like, “Nice shutting up, morons!” and they’d be, “Yay!” and I’d be “Augh!!!!”
And I hate it when people hover over me. Every time I’d try to do something, they’d be RIGHT there. I’d be like, “Grrr… quit standing so close to me. I can’t THINK when you’re right next to me.” And then they’d want to ask me questions and I’d be like, “Who do I look like? The Shell Answer Man?” And they’d be like, “But Your Highness, you are God! You know everything!” and I’d be like, “Yeah – and that’s for me to know and you to find out. Now go to your room and beat yourself in my name…” Anything to get you away from me….
My being so antisocial is why eventually I’d lock myself in a high tower where only those I find worthy may enter (i.e. people who bug me the least, or I find hot). They’d all begin to think, “Oh! How magical! Only her most worthy disciples may see her! Truly through them may we see her and if we see her, we see Heaven! For she is so holy that her castle tower reaches the Heavens!” And then I’d shout down from my window – “No! It’s to get away from nutballs like you! God! What is wrong with you people?!”
And like I said, I’m lazy. And distractible. I’d run the cult for a few days, get bored and wander off into the woods and do something else. Those who actually do bother to follow me would be like, “Master, why are you here in the woods?” And be like, “Thinkin’ ‘bout hemorrhoids…” And they’d be like, “Your Excellency?” And I’d be like, “Augh! You don’t get the reference, do you?” and then spend the next 10 minutes explaining Azumanga Daioh.
And I’m wishy-washy. No, maybe I’m fluttery. No, maybe I have ADD. No, my sister calls it Asperger’s… What were we talking about? …Oh yeah! Hemorrhoids! What I mean is, one day I have the universe completely figured out and everything makes perfect sense, and then the next day the universe throws a curve ball and pokes a major hole in my theory. So then when I revise my theory and present the new one to my followers, they would be like, “But Master, that contradicts what you told us yesterday.” And I’d be like, “Yeah, well get over it.”
And I’m lazy. And I procrastinate. They’d be like, “Master, when will you free us from our earthly bonds and take us to Paradise?” and I’ll be like, “Eventually. Now go away, kid. Ya bother me.”
And in my laziness, I wouldn’t want the responsibility of caring for an entire community of people. I’d be like, “Awwwwwwwww, do I HAVE to?” And they’d be like, “But Master, you promised!” And I’d be like, “Awwwwww, you should know better than to ask me things when I’m tired! I make bad decisions when I’m sleepy!” And they’d be like, “But Master.” And I’d be like, “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I don’t wanna! You can’t make me! Strong Mad ate it!” And they’d say, “Who?” And then I’d spend the next 10 minutes explaining Homestar Runner.
Also, I’m such a perfectionist that if everything didn’t go “according to plan” (to quote another psycho with a god complex), I’d get pissed off and start pistol-whipping followers. And they’d be like, “Master! What have we done wrong to displease you?!” And I’d be like, “No, no, no. It's ‘step, pivot, step, pause’. Are you TRYING to piss off the volcano?!” And they’d be like, “What?” And then I’d spend the next 10 minutes explaining Family Guy.
As you can readily tell, I’m addicted to technology. I’m making this post on the internet. I keep quoting things I watch. I’d DIE without my computer and the internet. They’d find me behind a shed rocking back and forth in the fetal position, and they’d be like, “Master? Are you all right, my liege?” And I’d be like, “What was that song by Smoky Robinson? The one that Johnny Cash or Rivers or whoever the hell it is that Dad hates for stealing that song! I can’t remember the name OR the tune and it’s gonna drive me crazy until I find out! Oh God! I need my Google!!!! Where’s Google?!?! Somebody find me a Wikipedia!!!!!” (Come to think of it, what IS that song?)
Another popular thing about cults is to get all your followers to give up their worldly possessions to you. I’m sure at first I’d be like, “Whoo-hoo! Free stuff!” but then I’d be like, “Augh! God! Where the hell am I gonna put it all! So much clutter!” And then eventually I’d just throw it all in a donation box and give it to the poor (which would be my followers at this point since they gave up all their worldly effects).
And the food – god, the food. I enjoy going to the super market and getting what I need. I don’t want to wait for my food to grow. Do you know how un-economical that is? I’d get a major craving for beef and they’d be like, “But Master, our land is not good for the raising cattle. Perhaps this rice cake instead?” And I’d toss it to the ground. “That’s no rice cake! That’s a coaster! Bring me some goddamn mochi! With azuki beans in it!!!” And they’d be like, “Some what?” And then I’s start pistol-whipping this guy as I explain Japanese food to him.
And they'd want me to drink wine because it's some sort of "m-a-g-i-c" drink. I can't stand alcohol. And I'd be like, "Blech!" and they'd be like, "Gasp!" And I'd be like, "Bring me some sangaria! In ramune if they've got it!" And the little servant guy would be like, "Wha-" and then I'd hold up my pistol and he'd run off before asking dumb questions.
And another thing – miracles, they always want miracles. I can’t even juggle. How am I supposed to wow these people? I’ll point to the forest, “Hey look! Over there!” and then when they’re not looking, I’ll run off, and they’ll turn back around and they’ll be like, “Gasp! She’s gone! She has the ability to become invisible!” And I’ll be like, “Whoo-hoo! Whoops…”
And then what if they want to start doing human sacrifices? E-w-w-w-h-e-w-h-e-w-h-e-w!!! I can’t stand the sight of blood! True, it would get rid of a few of the annoying followers, but eww! I can’t stand scary movies like “The Grudge” – I don’t even like the FMA episode with Barry the Chopper! How could I stand human sacrifices? (And then that one P-Shaw guy from earlier comes back and he’s like, “What kind of a lame cult is this?” and I’d be like, “The kind that worships the Yaoi god and doesn’t do human sacrifices.” And then he’s like, “Yowie?” And then much to his displeasure, I spend the next 100 minutes explaining yaoi. >:D)
A-a-a-nd, I guess I’m done. That’s all I can think of, I’m hungry, and I have to get to bed because I have school tomorrow. *Sigh* Slave boy! Get in here with my mochi before I start pistol-whipping you again!
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I'm super! Thanx for asking!!!
2010-01-27 10:34:38
Hey youse guys! You wanna watch something so corny it's awesome? :D
Awesome says I! It's super!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2OdpjD_M2Y
JOURNAL: niji tsuki (Woodenchu Laiktano ^.^)
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