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This one go's out to.......
2003-02-07 11:06:26
My shout out list:
Bridget
Debz
Seg
Nikky, Master Queen Of System
Kagami
Bridgets very cute friends
Scotty
Grandad Konrad
Frist something for you AMV fan's: Im working on another new vid, its gona be a Fatule Fury vid and its gona rock.
Well, as you know by now, i only write in here when i have somthing to write about, and right now i have the need to write stuff.
Well, monday i was in the Toy shop (helping debz look for things to buy Rach, more on her later) and i started talking to this random girl, she invted me to look at some pic's she taken so off to boots we when. I then spent the rest of the day with her, just handing out at her place. She is a very deslexsic person, like me, she is way out of there, i mean, she is more fucked up than me (wich i like) and she thinks like me. She is the only person who understand me when i talk, none does anymore, Rach pertended to, but she was lieing.
Every time i say something these days the person im looking at gives me a funny look, or takes offece to it. But when i talk to her, she understands it. How cool!
After my encounter i am no longer ashamed of my fucked-up-ness, in fact im gona incorage it, i mean, why should i try to be someone else, im gona be me and fucking kill anyone who doesn't like me. YEAH!
The only thing i did rong was cut up my arm and where a white t-shirt, not good kids.
I know now that things are happerning around me, but people no longer want me to know. N8 is doing loads of stuff in the backround, but he's not saying a word. He's been hiting on Rach S (or so she says) but why? And his valatines day plan, its a realy good one, but its on Debz, who has no interest in him.
Debz has bad things happen to her, but she tells none, not even me. I can tell that shes going thogh a mini-hell, but he grins and bears it. I spent a realy nice day with her on wednesday, but on thursday she didn't wanna give me time of day. No thats rong, she was realy nice to me on thursday, it was me, i cant seem to sit in silence with someone, its hard for me. I said she had anime eyes (those dream lost girly anime style eyes) but she thort i was being mean, and it comes around. I can't seem to not say thing that get to people. Im finding being with the groop hard and uneasy.
Some one asked me why i want a girl friend, at the time i said i did know why, but its be puzzleing me of a feu days now. What i would like, is someone who likes me, someone i dont feel i have to pester day + night to keep hold of.
And lastly, Rach (my old Rach) we where both at a party last saterday and wile she was drunk i told here never to call me ever agane, this was very mean but it had to be done. I was in midhurst last tuesday, i saw her, said "happy birthday" and was on my way. In that respect she is out of my life. The one thing you have to understand is that i do still like her, hell, i realy had a thing for her, but she didnt like me "in that way" so im gona half to leave her alone. I tell you want, she hasnt called since then, and i havent freaked out at all this week.
Ok, thats me done, im sorry it was a long one, but i've got a lot to say (some stuff doesn't even get put in here, even i have secrits)
Ginger "GM Swordsman" Gouki
=D -
NEW F4CKING AMV KIDDYS!!!!!!!!!!!
2003-01-31 15:28:57
Just so you know my new AMV "Shame on an Arab" is now done. It comebines the shamless killing of Hellsing with the down right 'gangsta' of system of a down + wu tang clan. You know your gona like it.
Ginger "Gota love 12 bagys of wotsits!" Gouki
=D -
Never Knows Best
2003-01-30 16:37:10
"Never Knows Best" yes, the thing writen on the side of her ciggeret in FLCL, its kind of become my motto (dont know why) i currently have it writen on my wall and my arm.
Good day today. It snowed. I didcided to take the day off, but even if i had desided to go, the bus wouldn't have made its way to my stop so i would have got the day off anyway.
I am working on a new vid people, Hellsing but im not sure on the tune yet, ether "Shame on a nigger" by System + wu tang clan or "Brave" be Dry Cell.
As for the wold of will's head, im doing better. I've just gota not talk to Rach about whats going on in my head, nothing aganset her, its just, it makes me feel realy bad after. I mean, im telling her why im so fucked up over her. No points for that and other than the Never Knows Best on my arm, i've been pritty sane today.
Its funny, the person who is the nicest to me is the one who is messing with my head, even though she's not doing a thing.
I've also uped my training, since i saw him at collage, i need to be able to kick some fag-ass if needs be.
Other than that, all good ^_^
Ginger "Master of Gingjitsu!" Gouki
=D
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2003-01-29 14:57:00
See, it 8:47. Rach call around about 9. Right now im thinking
"cant wait for her to call"
but why, im not her boyfriend and i have no chance of never geting back with her so why am i waiting for this call?
Please send all answers on the back of a post card to:
Will need to be put in a nut house
Will's house
Cave in a hill
Somewhere
UK
SUX 50H
Ginger "I prefer the term, hit with a brick" Gouki
=D -
Miss me?
2003-01-29 14:46:25
Ok, im sorry i havent writen in here for a wile, but i've been on report at collage for the last week so i've been having to get my work done (it kinda sux the life out of ya).
Life is good. The outside world and i are getting on fine. No problems there, the Ring leader and his henchmen are all going well (all but N8, but he's not right) so i have nothing to complane about.
As for things in my little head, they, they arn't good. I havent cut myself in nerely 2 months but it seems that its a part of me now. Rach is calling me agane, its a little hard to handle, but im going it. I cant tell anyone that im so over my head, i mean
1)i help others with advice and if im not cool in the head then who will they have?
2)I didn't go out with Rach for very long, nor did i do anything with her (i mean stuff, like going to the films or the pub, not sex you derty people!!!lol) and compared to everyone else, im a noobe.
i mean, N8 got dumped by his chick (Debz) and she turned Bi on him. Rach S had her boyfriend (who she was lifing with) dich her and then give her real shit after. And my Rach had her 3 year long "love" turn gay and not even tell her strait. Agane can i say how much i hate that guy.
See, compared to my friends, ive had it easy. So why it geting to me i dont know. I realy when crazy the other night (after talking to Rach) at first i started lafing realy loud for no reson, i mean the real evil kind, no the happy kind. Then i started geting REALY mad and then not, in a feu seconds. I've been on the edge befor, but this was way out there.
So what am i tring to say? Fuck, i cant even say it my self. What i can stress enof is that none of this is Rach's fult. Not in any way. That kid chaged my life and yet, i cant cry. Even thougt she means so much to me. I gess its the age old thing: Boy likes girly, but she donesn't like him.
It could be that none have ever liked Will, i've always gone after them and Rach was the first person who ever said they liked me, but now she chaged her mind its back to the way its allways been. Its just talking to her, i realise what it is i like in her so much and she reminds me that im not an emty shell. Love, hate. I have never truly felt these befor i met her. (love for her, hate for him) but there i go agane, using the word i hate the most.
Im having a hard time just being at them moment. Mabe thats it.
Ginger Gouki
Thx for sticking with me people, i'll be ok
JOURNAL: Ginger Gouki (William Overgard)
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