- Afterhours 2002-01-22 00:36:15 After hours, you said. I said, minutes. You were awed. You had not heard that before. But I had heard it many times. I wanted to retch.
-
sour grapes
2002-01-17 23:16:48
of course my writing contribution has been rejected from this supposedly definitive site. i use the word 'supposedly' because im still quite sour =P. but that was rather expected. after all i did manage to sneak my way in into some other web zine which was supposed to be another one of these 'definitive sites'. all these elusive places. i just spent the last hour looking at all the contributions that kicked MY contribution out. guess what i found. so many of. all these love poems.
"
I want you. I need you. I’d
really
really like to have you
"
funny how so many poems are love poems and most of them run like the above. ive only just wrote that by the way. =P
ive swore off love poems already.. theyre quite ptless?? tentatively so. for me at least. maybe its by default. it IS by default. not choice.
either way,
arck. -
a little while back
2002-01-16 08:13:18
well. just started thinking abt people i could really get along with in the past who i feel out of sync with now. strange how things work out.
anyway, there was this girl i used to be somewhat best friends with. i supp you know how it works out. i bump into her today, realise we live near each other, chatted a little, could get along but just barely. most of the people i know turn out like that. if i dont see them, it all goes bust. then again, if i do, and i certainly do for some others, it all goes bust anyway.
this journal entry is getting a little suspect, so i shall stop at it.
i AM getting happier these days, mainly because somehow i seem to be having normal conversations with people, which helps if you dont want them to give you strange looks. so thats one good thing. just one. for now at least.
shall continue looking for elusive people who will probably never be found. -
Some crap childrens story i wrote...
2002-01-15 05:07:06
The Man and his Dream
One day, a Man woke up in his room (his room) and he thought he’d had a dream (his dream). He knew he had a sleeping dream, and he thought he might have had a waking dream, but try as he might, he tried to go back to sleep but he wouldn’t dream, he stayed awake he wouldn’t dream. Finally, when it did seem he couldn’t dream anymore, when it seem as if he really couldn’t recall his dreams, he decided to go to a Doctor for help.
The Doctor wore a grey coat and a grey suit, and he had grey shoes for his feet. If he had a bit of dirt on his hands or a bit of dust on his head you couldn’t see it. He carried a something that jumped when your heart jumped and measured a something like the number of jumps your heart did every minute.
This Man (who had a dream) asked:
“Doctor, I had a dream. I can’t remember what it was, how it went. What can I do to remember it all over again?”
The Doctor put on an intelligent look and thought very carefully. And as all doctors loved money he said:
“I will help you. But first I must have money. Go to the Bank and take on a job. That should pay me just enough.”
So the Man went to the Bank. At the Bank the People wore ties that went around their necks and watches that ticked to the clock on the wall. If you spoke to them they would not hear unless you whispered the word 'money’. They wore shoes who squeaked as discreetly as they could and had plastic cards in their pockets which made a terrible song.
This Man (who had a dream) asked one of them:
“Banker, I had a dream. I can’t remember what it was, how it went. I need money. What must I do to get money?”
And the Banker thought the Man’s dream was to make money. He gave him a bright look and thought very quickly. And as all Bankers were curious to know how much money the Government had he said:
“I will help you. But first I must know how rich the Government is. Go to the District Head and pretend to serve them. That should do very well.”
So the Man went to the Government. The District Head had 10 dogs on 10 leashes. All of them had stony looks that melted at the hearing of commands, and wore collars that were hooked up to a machine that tracked their movements. If you whistled to the District Head or his dogs they told you to keep quiet.
This Man (who had a dream) asked:
“District Head, I had a dream. I can’t remember what it was, how it went. I need to serve the Government. How can I serve the Government?”
And the District Head thought the Man’s dream was to serve the Government. He gave him a shocked look and thought very narrowly. And as all District Heads wanted to be Country Heads he said:
“I will help you. But first you will have to get a wife and then a baby. The Government wants more babies (to work) for the country.”
So the Man went to a Woman. This Woman had wrinkles on her forehead from worrying too much. If she worried of frowning too much she worried and frowned even more. She carried a bag of combs and some extra teeth.
This Man (who had a dream) asked:
“Woman, I had a dream. I can’t remember what it was, how it went. I need a wife and a baby. What must I do to make you my wife?”
And the Woman thought the Man’s dream was to start a Family. She gave him a straight look but was really thinking quite anxiously. And as this Woman herself wanted a Husband and start a Family she said:
“I will help you. But first you have to give me a home.”
So the Man went to a House. This House had one door, two windows, walls to keep Nasty Things out. If you knocked against the walls though, the paint cracked. It looked like it needed to be lived in.
This Man (who had a dream) asked:
“House, I had a dream. I can’t remember what it was, how it went. I need a Home. What must I do to make you my Home?”
And the House thought the Man’s dream was to have House as his Home. The House licked its dusty windows and thought rather happily. What did House want? What did House want? House had heard so much of God, it wanted to see God and it said:
“I will help you. But first I want to see what God looks like. Go to the Church and ask for God.”
So the Man went to the Church. The Priests had auras for shadows and they walked about in quick succession carrying candles in their palms. They had bent backs from too many confessions. If they gave you advice you listened to them.
This Man (who had a dream) asked:
“Priest, I had a dream. I can’t remember what it was, how it went. I want to welcome God into my House. What do I have to do?”
And the Priest thought the Man’s dream was to receive God. He gave him a pleased look and thought diligently. And as all Priests liked to help People welcome God into their lives, he said:
“I will help you. But first you must be cleansed by water.”
So the Man made for Water. But the Priest said:
“No, we do it for you. Come here. God shall cleanse you of all Sins.”
And the Priest took the Man under his Wing, and he took a pail of Water and poured it all over the Man. The Man knocked his head against the pail and he was cleansed by the Water that poured from it. But he had forgotten everything.
So the Man stayed in Church for a while. A Day passed. Another day passed. Every day the Man woke up thinking he had a life.
But something would not leave him alone. One day he woke up and thought he used to have dreams. He woke up and knew he had no more dreams. But that was OK because he thought no more.
One day the Priest asked the Man:
“Man, do you see God?”
The Man struggled to remember why the Priest would say such a thing. He twisted his mind this way and that way, and in a flash he remembered the House.
So the Man went to the House.
“House, why did you want me to find God?”
The House said in return:
“Man, didn’t you want to make me your Home? Why, have you failed?”
The Man struggled to remember why the House would say such a thing. He twisted his mind this way and that way, and in a flash he remembered the Woman.
So the Man went to the Woman. He found her.
“Woman, why did you want me to get a Home?”
And the Woman said in return:
“Man, didn’t you want to make me your Wife? Why, have you failed?”
The Man struggled to remember why the Woman would say such a thing. He twisted his mind this way and that way, and in a flash he remembered the District Head.
So the Man went to the Government where the District Head was.
“District Head, why did you want me to start a Family?”
And the District Head said in return:
“Man, didn’t you want to serve the Government? Why, have you failed?”
The Man struggled to remember why the District Head would say such a thing. He twisted his mind this way and that way, and in a flash he remembered the Banker.
So the Man went to the Bank to find the Banker. He found him.
“Banker, why did you want me to spy on the Government?”
And the Banker said in return:
“Man, didn’t you want money? Why, have you failed?”
The Man struggled to remember why the Banker would say such a thing. He twisted his mind this way and that way, and in a flash he remembered the Doctor.
So the Man went to the Doctor.
“Doctor, why did you want money from me?”
And the Doctor said in return:
“Man, didn’t you want to know what your dream was about? Why, have you
failed?”
In a flash the Man remembered he had dreams to recall. But the Man still did not know what they were. There was no way he could go beyond that.
The Man was tired. So he went back to sleep straight away.
And then, that was all there was to the Man and his dreams.
THE END.
POST NOTE: i know.. tt was CRAP =P -
STILL nothing on the scene
2002-01-10 11:49:47
i wonder how some people get that rugged look. im a fervent believer that you are what meets the eye and if you do something, it alters your appearence. the whole dorian gray shit really.
it bothers me to hell that i still look like an idiot.
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