-
Sometimes/I wish I was brave/ wish I was stronger/wish I could feel no pain
2002-05-11 22:23:46
Who the hell actually reads my journal, anyway? I mean, I see people like Rest who think no one reads theirs, but I do. I read alot of journals. I read all the newest journal entries every time I log in. But who actually reads mine? I haven't made any great AMVs, in fact I've only made one. The S Project is gonna blow everyone away (hopefully), and if it doesn't then I must really suck. 100's of hours in note-taking and editing along with anal-retentiveness BETTER produce a video that blows people away.
Anyway, I bet no one actually reads my journal entries, which are incredibly boring anyway. At least Rest's, EK's, Kusoyaro's, and the Toastmasters are all interesting even if they ARE about their every day lives. I write things to people in my journal entries sometimes, and they probably never see them. I'm a nobody. And yet 300 people have read my journals and I don't know why.
Bah, who cares anyway. It's more for me than anyone else.
::15:: -
Colorgenics
2002-05-10 22:19:19
For those of you even slightly interested in someone who's just text and AMV to you, here's me in a nutshell. I swear to god, it sums me up perfectly.
You are willing to try anything once. You 'need to be needed' and what is perhaps more important you 'need to need.' You can only feel close to a person or persons when you feel you can trust them, but this trust needs to be proven to you (I don't give people a chance unless they prove it to me, and I don't know anyone so I don't give ANYone a chance).
Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical (stoical, an unbeatably perfect description of me in the real world) - indifferent to pain and pleasure (I do make myself out to be that way off the internet). This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.
Your willpower and stamina are in danger of being overwhelmed by excessive stress. Your resilience and tenacity have become weakened. You are feeling overtaxed, worn out and getting nowhere: but you continue to stand your ground (I have nothing left, no ambition or inspiration; yet I just deal with things as they come). You feel that this unfavourable situation is an encumbrance which you could well do without and you find yourself unable to make the necessary decisions at this particular moment in time to change anything (I'm so stressed and tired that I can't make any decisions with a clear mind).
The tensions that you are trying to cope with are a result of conditions which are really beyond your control. As a consequence of this almost impossible situation and not being able to get your own way, you are subjected to frustration and almost ungovernable anger (ungovernable anger... you who experienced the "Suck It" thread can see that I flip out easily nowadays). You are trying to remedy the situation but the stress that you are experiencing is making the situation even worse. You feel so inadequate that you are not quite sure which way to turn. A good suggestion would to be to try to relieve the stress and anxiety by participating in some very active physical activity which will relieve your tension. -
College Sounds Sucky
2002-05-09 20:30:15
COBOL is the most entertaining and interesting class ever.
Anyway, signed up for college classes yesterday... It's not something I believe anyone should look forward to. It sounds so hard, and extremely time consuming. Just signing up was a pain in the ass (and a half). Oh well... It's something that must be done.
If I can find a way around the ocean that is all the obstacles keeping me from AWA, then the S Project will premeire there. Strangely enough, AWA is from September 27 - 29th, and the 29th is my 18th birthday. Why is that important? I don't know, just felt like mentioning it.
Big Big Truck: You're EEEEEEEEVVVIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! DAMN SITE! -
I'm Belligerent, Irate, and Pugnacious
2002-05-07 19:11:35
Hahahaha! My secret project is well on its way! DVD ripping is such a pain in the ass, especially with a series. But the quality will skyrocket compared to a capture card, so I'll have that over all the people who used this footage as well.
::10:: -
Sweetass! 110 Gigs of freedom!
2002-05-01 20:34:34
Got my 80 gig yesterday, finished transferring today, switched them around as master and slave, and tada! 110 gigs of freedom! Twofold balls and trembling scepter!
This means I can work on some decent looking videos, finally. Trigun, here I come! Or not. I still haven't really found "the" song that perfectly captures the feel of the show, so I'm not gonna force it. Oh well, the point is that if I WERE to make an AMV, I could. That's all I care about right now.
Kusoyaro: Just read your journal... 3 years is a lot of time to be making AMV's. Haven't you made around 20? That's alot. You're a pro. And I look up to you as an AMV creator, mainly because you caused my AMV fandom. Someone gave me a disc and your Kyoto Kombat video was on there and I was quite impressed. And so I owe my soon-to-be AMV creation abilities to you as well. Yay.
JOURNAL: Super Sapien (J W)
Current server time: Sep 11, 2025 06:50:16