JOURNAL: FirestormXIII (Robert X. Hill-Williams)

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  • Is practiced randomness really random? 2002-04-09 22:58:28 Just some random stuff before I go to bed:

    I'm going home this weekend!!! Halle-freakin-luiah.
    My Eva box set also arrived at home today too, which ties into my happiness about going home. My mom-mom (aka grandmother) told me about it when I was on the phone. She said she wanted to see what I spent my money on this time. She's funny. She'll probably just look at it and go 'Oh, ok.' and say something about spending money on myself all the time.
    Her complaint when I said it was a birthday present to myself was that I always spend money on myself and never on anyone else. She used my mother's b-day as an example. I didn't say anything, but I was thinking 'hey self, when was the last time your mom got you anything for your birthday?' then I answered myself 'why, the last time was when I was still living with her, go fig. so why should i be buying her anything?' especially considering the fact she's paying like nothing for my college education. I'm not saying my mom is a bad person or anything, she still has my bro to take care of and all, but there's really no reason I shouldn't spend my money to buy myself something every once and a while.

    Anywho, I'm off to bed everyone. Yay, tomorrow's another free day, I'm being awarded for being in the humanities. Awards, getting a good lunch (caf food sucks) and getting out of class, gotta love it.

    G'night everyone. 
  • Jesus this, Moses that, Abraham hit me with a whiffle ball bat 2002-04-09 10:37:34 Well, it's been a while since I've written anything here. Wow, last time I made a journal entry I got thirty hits, which is more than I've ever gotten for any single journal entry. Just a bit of random news, that was.

    Well I've been up to quite a bit since I last wrote in here. I'm still talking to Robin (my ex-girlfriend turned friend) and we're doing well. It's kinda like we're still going out really, just not doing anything physical. Of course I haven't been home since we broke up, so I still don't know if we're gonna be able to keep our hands off each other. if that happens we'll have turned into *gasp* friends with benefits. I'd feel like such a hypocrite if that happened, cause we're always saying how bad it is when other people do that. Oh well. *ahem* Off the really personal stuff now...

    Been working on this damn english paper. Well, I suppose I should say the paper is working on me, cause it's about to drive me up a fuckin' wall. Actually it's not now, because last night I decided I was letting it get to me and I shouldn't let it. Otherwise it'll drive me insane. So I just did the abstract last night and then went to the org chatroom. It was funny, as always.
    I woke up at around 9 this morning, which meant I missed my english class. Which pissed me off to no end, since I'm already past the point of failing because I've already been absent more than 3 times. So I called his office and pulled a sick routine. Told him I've had strep throat since wed., which isn't far from the truth because my throat hurts like a bitch and my stomach is bothering me. I just hope he bought it. I slid my abstract under his door earlier on today, so I did get it in on time. Now all that's left is to actually write the paper. I've already got one page done out of 5 minimum, so I know I can finish before next tuesday. I really want to get it done before the weekend though, so I can just sit back and relax and not worry about it anymore.

    So that's really been the major thing running my life at this point, just trying to finish all my work and get done with finals so I can go the hell home. I'll be so happy to go home. I even said something I never thought I'd say yesterday: That I would be happy when I started working. It's actually true though, I can't wait. I've already got a job lined up, it's the same one I had last year. Besides I kinda enjoy the mindless menial labor where I can crank some music and work. (at least for just a summer job) I'm going to be working at a landfill doing groundskeeping type stuff (mowing grass, cutting down trees, etc.) so I don't have to deal with people more than I want to. After having to rack my brain and deal with stupid people all year that's a good thing. I need money badly too, which is really the first reason I'm more than ready to start work. I get to work an extra two months this year so I should nearly double the amount I made last year (which was $2,500) so that's all good. I need all the money I can get going into next year, since I'm going to have a car on campus, not to mention other expenses. So yea, I'm ready for school to end.

    In AMV news I've got like 6 or 7 ideas floating around in my head, the problem is I can't work on any of them until I can get my laptop fixed. I've got one really awesome idea going through my head, and I can work on it when I get my laptop fixed because my box set of Neon Genesis Evangelion should be waiting at my house come the end of this week. Cool stuff, I can't wait to see it. I don't want to work on that video idea first though, so I have to decide which other one I'm going to do. I was seriously considering doing 'In the End' to the X movie, but after asking some other people in the chatroom I decided against it. It was the first song to pop into my head though, while I was watching the movie. I'm looking for another song that portrays that sense of hopelessness, but I don't want anything slow.
    Any suggestions?

    Well I guess that's about it for today. All I have left is mentoring at the local high school, then jazz band later tonight. Damn, I just remembered that I need to find someone to be my roommate for the upcoming school year. It seems that every person who might be a decent roommate is already sharing a room with someone else who's a decent roommate. Hell, I wouldn't switch either if I'd already found someone who didn't piss me off. Oh well, I've got a couple more people on my list, we'll see what happens.

    See ya, space cowboy...
    /obvious Cowboy Bebop reference 
  • And it's always raining...in my head/ Forget all the things I should have said... 2002-04-03 09:15:35 Well I had five minutes before my japanese class so I guessed that I'd write something here. I've certainly got enough to talk about.

    Well last night I was supposed to start working on my research paper for english (that's worth 40% of my grade and is due...tomorrow) but my whole plan for doing that started to get unraveled at around 5:30 when I talked to my g/f online. She was reciting lines from the Everclear song 'You make me feel like a whore' so after she said the line that gave the song its name I, as a joke, told her I didn't want her to feel like a whore, so we should break up. She knew it was a joke but she wasn't catching everything I was saying, so it confused her. So she then threatened to tell our mutual friend jen that I was breaking up with her. We both laughed at that. She actually did tell jen though, and jen thought there was something seriously wrong. But not because of what Robin had told her, but because she said that the last time I saw her I had been acting funny. I didn't realize I was so transparent.
    So anyway, after robin got off me and jen started talking about what had been bothering me. She didn't change my mind about anything, she just got me to admit to myself that I had to break it off so as not to hurt both of us later down the road. We just need time apart to explore other options and live without 'us' all the time, for a while. In short, just be our ages. 16 and 18 are kinda early ages to be figuring out how the rest of your life is gonna go already, it's a lot of pressure. So needless to say I talked to my g/f that night about it. We tried to do it on the phone, but she wanted explanations, which she was entitled to, but I couldn't get the words out, and standing in the security office with a bunch of loud ass people around me wasn't helping. So we talked about it online. She already knew what was coming, since I IM'ed her friend while she was at his house with a bunch of other people watching movies so I could talk to her. But anyway, we did talk about it, and ultimately decided that while it would hurt, it needed to be done. She had been thinking the same things I had been, but just never brought them up. So we decided it was for the best, and started talking about other stuff, like if we could be friends, if I could still visit her, if we would ever tell each other if we wanted to get back together somewhere down the road. Cause we both still love each other, and still would like a future with each other, but it's just too much pressure and too early in our lives to be deciding how the rest of our lives are gonna go right now. We talked for about three hours, and got a lot of stuff out and cleared up. I didn't feel so much like shit by the end of our convo, in fact she actually got me to laugh a couple of times. I think us being friends is gonna work just fine. And I'm glad, because I still love her and want to be a part of her life.

    *whew* Well that was pretty personal right there, but oh well. On another, non-mushy type note:

    Monkey nipples.

    and I have to run to class.
    Later. 
  • The world...is filled...with stupid people.... 2002-04-02 13:38:53 Well I woke up like 8 times this morning in a span from 6 am-7:20 am. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing, at least I got up on time this morning, it's just that I can't help thinking that I wouldn't have gotten up so many times if it weren't for the fact that my roommate decided he was going to clean out his closet and rearrange his side of the room at 2 am. Stupid bastard. I hate stupid people...

    Well, African American Experience wasn't boring as all hell today. I thought it was going to be, considering the topic: Hip Hop. But it was actually interesting. It put Hip Hop into a position where it was like any other movement in music. It was a revolutionary move in music, and gave a voice to African Americans. And it did a lot of good. Notice the did however, because since Hip-Hop got commercialized and all the artists started seeing were dollar signs its fallen a long ass way. And until someone picks it back up again I'll stick to my guns and say that Hip-Hop is nothing more now (with a few exceptions) than a destructive force that serves no good to anyone except the people getting rich off it.

    Now that I think about it today has been an all around musical day. I guess being a music major has something to do with that, but even in my non-music classes (like Afr. Amer. Exp.) music kept coming up. Interesting.

    Unfortunately tonight will be dominated by my research paper for English 103. I can't believe I'd forgotten about it for a while. Well it doesn't matter, I'm not starting until after jazz band is over at 7:30. I figure it shouldn't take me more than...4 hours to do the whole thing, and that's giving myself time to take some breaks. I figure going on Questia to get the books and take notes is going to take the biggest chunk of time. Actually writing the thing shouldn't take more than an hour. *sigh* Maybe I should think about minoring in english (or some kind of writing related degree), it comes so easy to me. Well that's some thinking for another time, I gotta worry about the task at hand first. Let's see, I'll finish eating dinner, go to jazz band, then start my paper while checking in on the org chatroom on my breaks. Sounds like a plan, and a full night. I'll probably be back to write something later if everything goes according to plan.

    Later. 
  • Hey loser 2002-04-01 19:40:10 ^ That's Wang's greeting to anyone that steps foot in the Amv.org chatroom. Funny stuff, especially when someone got mad at him for it.

    Well, came back to hell today...And right my roommate is standing on a chair looking at himself in the mirror...fag. Anyway, like I was saying, I came back to hell today. Before I left though I had my aunt stop at an Electronic Boutique so i could pick up a keyboard, since the one on my laptop crapped out. So at least now I can write any projects and stuff I need to do. I wish I had my sound though, cause I am so bored right now. I would right for some of these RPG's I'm in online, but I just don't feel like it, especially since I'm spending the next two days straight typing my final research paper for English 103. Damn boring ass class, I'll be glad when I turn that paper in...but anyway, god I wish I had my sound. I've got so many ideas for vids now that it's sad. Oh well, after i get my laptop fixed I can get right back to editing all these ideas. I wonder which I'll start with...
    And while I'm on the subject of vids, I still haven't found a way to transfer my ripped VOBs from my laptop to my PC. Unfortunately my PC doesn't have a dvd drive on it, so I guess I'm gonna have to wait it out till my laptop gets out of the shop. Well, I'll bave plenty of time to put up timeline markers in my vid.

    Well damn this has been random. I'll post later when I'm not doing 10 things at once in my boredom.
    Later. 
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