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I'd kill for this class
2006-05-15 04:10:08
A high school teacher has apologized for asking students to write about who they would kill and how they would do it, and officials said he will likely keep his job.
Michael Maxwell, who teaches industrial technology at Central High School, said his request that students in his beginning drafting class describe how they would carry out a murder was merely a writing prompt. It was not clear why he asked the drafting class to write fiction.
"I made a horrible mistake that I regret," Maxwell said. "I want to apologize to my students, my colleagues and to the community."
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The result of modding BF2
2006-05-12 23:36:46
Do you need spiritual guidance but feel uncomfortable with "mainstream" religion?
Are you looking for something different in a belief system?
Do you want to mate with a clone of your own mother?
One day, roughly 3548 years ago, Huitzilopochtli went for a walk through the vast
emptiness left after the sudden end of the last age. There had been many ages, and he pondered on how to make the next one. He was the God of the Gods, and this position, although full of responsibilities, also filled him with great satisfaction. And today was a special day. He had promised his harpy of a wife Nahy an al-Munkar, that he would have the plans for the beginning of the next age ready by dinnertime. And dinnertime was approaching fast, and he was almost out of ideas.
Meanwhile Sargon the Great, a brute wargod, was busy practicing smashing skulls, when his distant cousin Smārtas came and asked him to join him for a drink. Smārtas was the god of all fun things in life, and apart from booze, cigars and lightly dressed goddesses there was nothing he enjoyed more than practical jokes. The other Gods didn't entirely trust him, but he had two things going for him. One, he was the God of all funny things, and the Gods liked funny things and his practical jokes. Two, he was quite charming and goodlooking, and was the only one who could get Nahy an al-Munkar to smile like a 14 year old schoolgirl in love. Sargon the Great had been working up a sweat from his workout, and could actually use a drink.
While pounding booze Smārtas got an idea for a great joke. Huitzilopochtli finally got an idea. And in an instant he created everything. Stars, planets, and all things cosmic. Pleased with himself he was gazing at the scenery, when Sargon the Great
and Smārtas came to him.
"It all looks very nice indeed Huitzilopochtli" Smārtas said, "but isn't there something missing?" Huitzilopochtli thought about it for a while but couldn't quite figure out what it was. "Yeah, like something living that can kill each other" Sargon the Great said. "That's a great idea, Sargon" Huitzilopochtli said. So he started experimenting. In the end there was two figures left. One of a giant lizard-like creature, and another which bore a remarking resemblance to a human. "There you go" Huitzilopochtli said. "How does that look?" "it looks remarkable indeed" Sargon the Great and Smārtas both said. Suddenly there was a voice saying "Yeah, yeah it all looks fine. But how will they multiply?" The voice belonged to the Godess of Love, Mahāyāna. "Shit" Huitzilopochtli said. "I knew there was something missing. Hmm, ok." So he gave unto the man figure a penis and unto the lizardcreature a vagina. "Now, Mahāyāna" he said, "work your magic". Mahāyāna smiled for a bit and raised her wand. In an instant, the man got erected, as if the mere sight of a naked lizard-like creature was the fullfilment of all his desires. Very pleased with himself Huitzilopochtli sent the man and the lizardwoman down to what we now call "Earth" At that time it was known as the Rock.
"But how will they eat?" asked a little, slightly overweight, God named Mahāparinirvā. "I must be getting old" Huitzilopochtli thought. And then he created a vast ocean of what can only be described as vegetablesoup. "Oh, but you can't expect them to live of only vegetablesoup" Mahāparinirvā said. Huitzilopochtli was slowly beginning to get annoyed. "Why the Hell not?" he asked. "What about some meat?" Mahāparinirvā asked. "I'm getting fed up with all his damn questions. One of these days I'm gonna ask Sargon the Great, to teach him an invaluable lesson, in keeping his trashcan of mouth closed" Huitzilopochtli thought to himself. "Yeah, you're probably right" he said, and put a giant lump of chicken meat in the sky over the Earth. While all this was happening Sargon the Great and Smārtas were walking on the earth. "Hey, Sargon" Smārtas said, "I dare you to piss in the ocean." Sargon was not a God who would back down from such a challenge, so he did it. But the thing about Sargon's urine, was that it had a distinct salty taste, so he basically ruined the vegetablesoup.
The man and the lizard lived a happy joyful life, and for the time being their love for each other and some fresh water was all they needed. But after a while, after having a load of kids, and only seeing each other they became very angry. So they did what most couples did, they split up. The man took almost all of the children, but left one boy for the lizard. And so they walked the earth, each going their seperate ways. But, alas, men will be men, and horny little buggers they are. So the man started fornicating with his offspring, and the one boy left to the lizard, began
getting more and more insisting, until she finally gave in to his natural urges.
This explains why there are thousands and thousands of people inhabiting the earth, but only a small selection of them are coldblooded. The oceans are still made of vegetablesoup, but because of Smārtas' practical joke, it is uneatable.
The moon is indeed made of chickenmeat, but because the technology to travel there will most likely not be ready for thousands of years, we haven't been able to taste it yet.
I have declared myself Super High Arch Priestess of the first Degree, in this new religion. If you feel like joining me, there are a few conditions.
1.You must be ready to learn the important art of denial. Many will try to persuade you to think differently, but with convictions as hard as diamonds they will never penetrate your shield of faith.
2. You must be ready to accept that current ideas about perversions is based on falsehood and lies. Having sex with a clone of your mother is the most natural thing in the world for a young man.
If, after all this, you are still willing to join my selected few and embark on a lifelong
journey towards the light and Huitzilopochtli's mercy, feel free to send me a PM.
We can finsh our Holy Book together. Because I am "only" a semigoddess, I suffer from the fact that I only have 10 fingers, and therefore writing the book alone will take some time. I plan to grow more fingers in the future, though.
http://forums.rometotalrealism.org/index.php?showtopic=15988&st=80&p=185646&#entry185646
- The price of music 2006-05-11 02:43:33 This unusual work of art was a life size replica of a bull, cast in solid brass, hollowed out, with a trap door in the back through which victims was placed. A fire was then lit beneath the belly, slowly cooking anyone inside. A series of musical pipes translated the tortured screams into strange music. Supposed the tyrant [name excluded for greek illteracy] killed the inventor [previous note] by placing him inside his own creation.
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Prayer
2006-05-09 01:21:56
Hail Mary, Full of HentaiCat,
the tentacoo wape is with you.
Blessed are you amoung forumites,
and blessed is the glistening of your girlybits.
Holy Mary, mother of Teh Secks,
Pray for us perverted fantasists,
now and at the hour of our masturbation.
-amen. -
2006-05-09 01:08:31
"Me:
what kind of porn do you like?
God:
The expensive kind.
Me:
with goats?
God:
You and your goats.
Me:
really...
God:
For real.
Me:
well uh, we should hook something up
God:
Well that's okay. Yeah that's right. I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:but if you like porn with my and my goats, then I have to provide it
God:
I think I do.
Me:
so let me provide
God:
Aha. Go ahead, , try to provide.
Me:
so how much you gonna offer?
God:
It's all good. More than you might think.
Me:
no I think I need a number, we ARE talking goats
God:
Are you serious? Why? Who would you usually get that from?
Me:
um...yes I'm serious and I'd get the money from the buyer, in this case YOU
God:
That's alright. I see. I believe you. What would make you get the money from the buyer in this case me?
Me:
cause you want the me and goat porn!!
God:
That makes sense to me. Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
you said you wanted it!!
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
wack off
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
no porn for you
God:
Are you serious? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
ookay."
"So god likes dresses and Misca porn. This says alot! "
"Well... Of course she likes dresses. You can't expect her to dress like a man all the time. It's similarly predictable she'd like Misca-porn, but let's not downplay the importance of the goats in all this. I mean, why do you think she wanted all those "sacrifices" back in the day? I'd be wary of appearing in any dietic necro-goat porn."
JOURNAL: Orwell (Aaron )
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