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Madagascar is 1%
2006-05-02 02:05:39
nurotic257: "Buss and Schmitt asked undergraduates on a questionnaire how long they would wait before being willing to have sexual intercourse with a hypothetical person of the opposite sex they had just met. Females would wait for three months before becoming as willing as the man was after only one day; by three months, the man was as ready as the woman would be after two years"
Otohiko AMV: haha
Otohiko AMV: I somehow totally believe that
nurotic257: I think that sums up everything there is to learn in psychology, next course
Otohiko AMV: well
Otohiko AMV: no
Otohiko AMV: they missed one important point
Otohiko AMV: they need to poll the females after at least 0.75 liters of alcohol consumed
nurotic257: haha
Otohiko AMV: no need for the males, of course
nurotic257: 7.5 liters
Otohiko AMV: yea, well
Otohiko AMV: after that they'd be willing in about 7.5 milliseconds
nurotic257: she won't mind willing or not by then
Otohiko AMV: yes, of course
Otohiko AMV: and conviniently, remember nothing so she can stick to the 3 months figure again when asked later
Otohiko AMV: assuming she's alive by then
Otohiko AMV: or at the time of intercourse for that matter
Otohiko AMV: 7.5 liters is quite the doze
nurotic257: well over a gallon
Otohiko AMV: I think that's about a half-year average for a Russian
nurotic257: really? what about the binge drinkers?
Otohiko AMV: I wonder
Otohiko AMV: there were official statistics on that, though
Otohiko AMV: the average Russian, children and non-drinkers included, drinks over 14L of alcohol a year
Otohiko AMV: that's measured in pure alcohol
nurotic257: woah
Otohiko AMV: vodka is 40% alcohol
Otohiko AMV: heh, sad statistic, really
nurotic257: wait wait wait
nurotic257: this can't be right
Otohiko AMV: but it is
nurotic257: unless madagascar is 1 percent
nurotic257: "college students find that 99 percent of both men and women report wanting to settle down in a monogamous sexual relationship"
nurotic257: Stranglelove was right, monogamy needs to be sacrificed for humanity
Otohiko AMV: after one day?
nurotic257: hah
nurotic257: uh...
nurotic257: doesn't say
nurotic257: probably
Otohiko AMV: well, there's your solution to the demographic problems of europe
Otohiko AMV: deport everyone to madagascar
Otohiko AMV: and bring them back later
Otohiko AMV: after one day
Otohiko AMV: and 7.5 liters -
Porking Akane
2006-05-02 01:42:01
It takes 4 seconds to jump from the Golden Gate Bridge and hit the water
*****************************************************
"Will you catapult flaming pigs into besieged cities as the Romans did?"
Seriously, that one had me chuckling for quite a while. I can just imagine the Cathaginian general screaming with his silly accent:
"Iet ies taim to show zese Roman zcum ze power of Carzage! Load ze catapults and fire ze flamink piegs!"
Pigs: "Oink, oink, oink!"
Soldiers: "Ze catapult iz loaded Zjeneral!"
General: " Alright, now fire ze flamink piegs!"
Pigs: "Oink, oink, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE....!!!!!"
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*On the wall of the Roman town*
Marcus: "...And then I said "Well, I can show my other gladius too, if ya know what I mean!"
Publius: *chuckles*....Hmmm, what's that? Hey, do you hear that too?"
Marcus: "By Jove, the Carthaginians, they are catapulting flaming pigs at us! Everybody hit the deck!"
Pig: " SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
Publius: "Aaaaaaaaaaaggghhh*SPLATSJ!*
Marcus: "By Hera's boobs, they got Publius!"
********************************************
The Fall of Dumnorix
Dumnorix was a Celtic king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Great Alps and the Sea.
His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his bright mustache afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's lair
were mirrored in his dandruff'd hair.
But long ago he fell in battle
when he crush'd a legion with great mettle
For he was dancing a victory jig
when he got hit by a burning pig
The song goes on for another 350 verses, most of them dealing with pork chops. Tis a sad song really and one of the finest examples of Celtic poetry.
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Vesna
2006-04-28 01:19:46
Entering Sarg's contest, basic rule is any song pre 1992, The Letter shall be Exiled by The Shooting Company of a Bizarre Love Triangle.
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DDT - Rat-Spring
People on trees, people in windows
People on people, behind palace gates
Dying on altars, drowning in railings
Of windows, the world is dying in windows
(The whole world, dying in windows)
First love and final betrayal
Walls swollen with cracking veins
Sun with its blade cut the aorta
For the gothic spring, raising the cohorts
To Nevsky, to Nevsky
(Cohorts to Nevsky)
To Nevsky, Senatskaya, battlefield games
The armor of greatness lies down on the shoulders
Of spring, rejoicing at its temporary skin
Bread and games of the hungry pedestrians
Pedestrians
(F’n pedestrians)
And life works in a sexual heat
Decomposing in your brain, casino, sidewalk
In cars, subway, multi-block boxes
On display screens, unwashed boats
In you and in me, in you and in me
In you and in me
(In you and in me)
Spring
Spring
Spring
Spring
(War)
---------
And even this monster, the weight of a tapeworm
With a pink abomination for a tail
Crawled out to the sun with its poisoned heart
Deadly saliva, crushed peppers
Through ah’s and screaming of tawdry ladies
Onto the lawn’s grass, asphalt, feet
Insane rat, insane rat
(Insane rat)
Delusional scum
Burst furuncle, unwanted relations
Jumped up, spun in a waltz
Squinting at the sky in a druidic trance
Like a schoolgirl to classes
A-a-a schoolgirl to classes
Like a schoolgirl to classes, a playful kitten
Like a swallow in a cloud of washed sheets
Like a swallow
Like a swallow in a cloud of washed sheets
Plays in the last year’s dead leaves for hours
Remaining in life like the devil with heavens
The devil with heavens
Stop screaming, people, and take off your hats
Understand that she too is God’s creature
Understand that she too is God’s creature
Understand that she too is God’s creature
God’s creature
She too, she too, she too
Spring
Spring
Spring
Spring
(Rat-war)
(Rat-war)
**Nevsky is the big road in St. Petersburg** - What's with the finger, your IQ? 2006-04-26 23:45:41 http://rapidshare.de/files/19027305/Vietnam.zip.html
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Out of the forest and into the jungle
2006-04-24 04:06:02
The letter - 12
Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane,
Ain't got time to take a fast train.
Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home,
'Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter.
I don't care how much money I gotta spend,
Got to get back to my baby again
Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home,
'Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter.
Well, she wrote me a letter
Said she couldn't live without me no mo'.
Listen mister can't you see I got to get back
To my baby once a-mo'--anyway...
Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane,
Ain't got time to take a fast train.
Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home,
'Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter.
Well, she wrote me a letter
Said she couldn't live without me no mo'.
Listen mister can't you see I got to get back
To my baby once a-mo'--anyway...
Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane,
Ain't got time to take a fast train.
Lonely days are gone, I'm a-goin' home,
'Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter.
Because my baby just a-wrote me a letter.
JOURNAL: Orwell (Aaron )
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