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Forty ninth entry - It just doesn't fit.
2005-09-23 16:12:25
Time - 2:46, Noise - Bryan Adams - "Everything I Do"
Geez...what's up with everything lately? Two days ago, nothing was wrong! Now, though...it's all messed up. As if me dealing with "that time of the month" for three weeks straight wasn't bad enough, now everybody seems edgy...besides myself, but I'm doing my best to slam down those irritation hormones.
I mean...let's go for most recent events first.
Just about an hour ago, some guy had just uploaded a video, so it appeared as a new vid on the block. Well, I clicked it like I do with all new videos I see there, just out of curiosity. It happened to be an Advent Children AMV, so I wasn't going to watch it anyhow. I haven't seen AC yet, so what's the point? Well, I noticed the song (which I won't say, for the sake of the guy's privacy), and the title wasn't right. So, I sent him a friendly little PM - complete with smilies - that said what the real name of the song was. I was really polite and didn't insult him in the slightest - at least, I didn't think I did. Ten minutes later, the guy PMs me back and rips me a new one! So, I apologized, saying that I never meant to offend him, and I didn't understand why he was being so rude - again, all very politely. So, he PMs me back and *continues* to bitch me out! I apologized again, despite thinking at this point that the guy was a complete dipshit asshole, and said I wouldn't bother him again - also very politely. He just said "thanks" back.
What a prick!
On Wednesday, one of my friends went missing, and her roommate couldn't find her. We were supposed to meet for breakfast that morning, but she never showed up. This isn't uncommon. We've only been in college for three weeks and she's already ditched me around eight or nine times. Okay, so I figured she slept in as usual. No...nobody could find her. She didn't appear until Thursday evening! So, I asked her if she was alright and what had happened.
She met a guy. She went out with him. She had sex with him. Willingly.
She completely ditched me just to go fuck some guy that she only knew for maybe a few hours.
You can imagine where my self-esteem and self-worth are sitting right now.
I'm not usually an overly emotional person, but I've wanted to cry all day. I feel like I've just been taken for granted - like she doesn't even give a damn about me. I doubt she even understands how much she hurts me when she does this kind of stuff.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to stop being her friend, but I just don't see what I'm getting out of it anymore.
There are...other things...going on, but those two are the worst.
I doubt any of you really wanted to read any of that. Hell, I'd be surprised if anyone is still reading now.
On a different note, I just beat Fatal Frame II...for about the tenth time. I ought to be playing Viewtiful Joe, since I just bought it, but I just haven't had the motivation to do anything. I was restless a little while ago, so I DDR'd for about an hour. I'm kind of icky and warm right now, but I'm a little less restless.
I should...do something. Now might be a good time for that cry.
- Jen -
Forty eighth entry - The Old New Nu?
2005-09-21 23:06:08
Time - 9:53, Noise - the obnoxious girls down the hall in my dorm
Well, for reasons unbeknownst to myself, I started playing Fatal Frame II again - even though I've already beat it a dozen times. I guess there are some games that just don't lose their charm. Since I just bought Viewtiful Joe, I suppose I ought to be playing that, but...I'm just not in the mood to play a game that requires thought. I have FFII memorized, so I just enjoy it more.
Yeah. I'm one of those people who does *everything* in a game before I put it down. Example: Final Fantasy X. My mission? Beat everything in the monster arena. What it cost me? About an extra seventy hours of gameplay. I ended up using Yuna, Wakka, and Tidus as my primary party (not because I really favor those three, but because they were the best suited for surviving battle in the Omega Ruins while I was capturing monsters and leveling up. Yuna's Holy for teh win! ^_^) Anyway, I (almost) unintentionally ended up maxing out the strength, agility, defense, and magic defense stats of those three. Yuna was dishing out 99,999 damage with one smack of her rod. Moral of the story? I went totally over the top to complete that game wholly. This holds true for most other games I've played (particularly the Final Fantasy series.) Well...that's the end of that.
I don't really want to write anymore for this entry. Actually, all I want to do is play Fatal Frame II now.
I'm going to do that...
- Jen -
Forty seventh entry - Boredom? Possibly.
2005-09-21 00:38:09
Time - 11:22, Noise - the television
You ever get those moments when you have tons of stuff you could be doing but nothing really interests you? That's how I am right now.
I registered with fanfiction.net and mediaminer.org, in the event that I actually manage to complete my fanfic. I guess I could post the first and second chapters, but I'd rather not do it until I can assure the readers a complete story.
Same thing with my video. I don't want to talk too much about it without knowing I'll finish it.
Dude. This Hijinks show is stupid. It's a program where parents prank their kids, but it's totally lame. It's only for little kids.
I don't have much else to say, really.
I think I'm just going to go to bed now. Band tired me out.
Nighty night, folks.
- Jen -
Forty sixth entry - Insect Queen!
2005-09-20 11:14:42
Time - 9:43, Noise - some random techno...I like techno... ^_^
@Ileia-chan - maybe the Chinese food upset you? Then again, you said it had been going on for two weeks, so I guess that's not it. Also, I can relate to losing a project. My fifth video was three quarters finished, and then the file became corrupt for some reason. I could open the file, but I couldn't lay down any clips in the timeline. So, with no other option, I had to start over. I tried to get the remake as close to the original as I could, but something was just off in the second version...it never did come out the same. I did finish the video eventually, but it's probably my least favorite of them all. So, I know how ya feel. *pet pet*
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Anywho, nothing too interesting here. My life is an ongoing monotony of classes and heat, really. I went home over the weekend, but it just wasn't as joyous as I thought it would be. I got to see my best friend, and we spent the day together shopping for some odds and ends college things for me - with my mom, of course. I also bought a new PS2 (because mine didn't really work to begin with), along with Viewtiful Joe at GameStop. I didn't actually want the game, but I want to play the Dante (from Devil May Cry) part, so...it's a sacrifice, I guess. The game isn't my style, per se, but I'm pretty good at it. Of course, I'm on the easiest mode, so I damn well ought to be somewhat passable. Anyway, since it was a "buy two used products, get one free" deal, I told Nicole to look for something she wanted. Same went for my mom, and they could argue over who would get her game. Nicole got BloodRayne eventually.
When I got home, I played the first chapter of VJ, but I haven't gone through anymore than that. Last night, my friend Lisa played some of my game Fatal Frame II. She wasn't very good, but that game takes some getting used to - especially the combat. I mean, you have a freakin' CAMERA as your only weapon! Of course, the second game is much easier than the first, so I suppose it's better that she played that one. Watching her play it made me want to. I even left it out, thinking I would later that night. Well, I didn't.
Instead, I wrote some more of my fanfic. I'm in "the part," so it's slow going. I don't want to rush it, or it's going to look sloppy. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's writing - and I'm not about to let anyone try to tell me different.
On a different note, my mom made sure that I brought my teddy bear with me to college. I'm not big on stuffed toys, but I've had this one since I was two, so she thought I ought to bring him with. He's called a Heart to Heart Bear (I never named him, so that's all I ever call him too), and for a specific reason. He has a red plastic heart that gets tucked in a side flap and into his chest. When you press against it, it makes a heartbeat sound. You usually can't hear it without putting your ear against it, but you can feel it. They made him that way to make infant --> toddler transition easier on a kid. It simulates a mother's heartbeat - something the kid would be used to - and helps the child sleep more comfortably. I don't think I used him for that, to be honest. I was a weird little kid. ~_~
Huh. This is getting long. I'm off, presumably to do my homework, but likely moreso to play a game.
"Will she graduate college? Can she do it!? Stay tuned!"
- Jen
PS: don't ask about Insect Queen. Too much of my Yu-Gi-Oh! Gameboy game for me... -
Forty fifth entry - Well...
2005-09-16 00:55:49
Time - 11:46, Noise - One Less Reason - "Favorite Color"
Ileia-chan - somehow, I have to wonder how the *Minnesota* Bar and Grill would tote well to this state. ^_~
Also, it's pointless for Nicole to learn how to do stuff herself. She decided not to go to college for a year; thus, she lives at home (though with a job). THUS thus, she lives under her parents' (father's...*rolls eyes*) rules. She runs on a crappy 56k connection (no, she can't upgrade - she lives in the country and DSL isn't an option for some reason), and she's not allowed to be on the internet for more than an hour at a time. Therefore, no uploading or downloading for her. I linked her to the forum page that talks about browsers and resuming uploading recently, but I don't know if she's looked at it. I neither understand nor need resumed uploading, so I can't help her with that.
Don't get me wrong. She's a hell of a lot smarter than I am with anything computer related. It's just that doing stuff on amv.org isn't really an option right now.
- Jen
JOURNAL: dj_ultima_the_great (Jen )
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