JOURNAL: Kusoyaro (Hsien Lee)

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  • the girl's got a family...she needs cash...to buy aspirin for her pain... 2002-02-04 12:52:27 Well, that was quite some goddamn week that just passed. I don't think I've ever held such stark, unassuageable (is that a word?) terror for such a long period of time. My belief has been reinforced that there are people out there who are simply worthless...you could argue that thieves and murderers serve some sort of purpose as part of the "food chain," but there are some people out there who just take up space and make the world VERY unpleasant for all who come in contact with them. Is it evil of me to constantly wish for this person to just hurry up and pop a fucking aneurysm and die? Probably.

    I'm still bitter and completely fucking drained from last week.

    I'm going to stop bitching about now because, well, it's mental agony.

    I hope you UshiCon people had a good time this weekend. I would have killed to switch places with any of you...yes, even EK, who was probably going crazy from all the stress.

    Anyway, happier things...erm...finally got a haircut this weekend. First I got hit on by the (male) stylist, then he practically shaved my head. First haircut in 8 months, and it's a drastic one. I came into the office this morning, and when I sat down at my desk, my cubemate kept turning back and staring at me...turns out, she thought I was someone else, and was wondering what I was doing at Hsien's desk. Then there were like 5 "whoas" from other co-workers.

    I also took advantage of a price drop this weekend and picked up a Game Boy Advance and Golden Sun for a total of $100. I'm not really sure why I bought it...I think I decided I wanted one while I sat in an airport for 4 hours a while back.

    Finally watched Blue Velvet last night. I'm not sure why people hail it as possibly THE best movie of the 80's. Oooh, vicious insects under the surface of a freshly watered lawn representing the surpressed darkness of small-town America. Right. The infamous rape scene made me flinch and think, "Okay, that's really weird," but it didn't really hold any deep meaning for me. And what's the point of the scene where Dennis Hopper takes Kyle MacLachlan "for a ride" and brings him to that weird party? An excuse to show how screwed up a bunch of characters Lynch could conjure out of thin air?
    Screw the dark passions and corruption of small-town America! Paizuri and I are going to make a movie about the beauty and nobility of the human spirit in big-city, corporate America! Yeah! Or maybe we'll just pop open a few beers, point to Autumn in New York, and laugh.

    It's snowing outside now. Joy.

    The Super Bowl has come and gone, and not only do I not know who won, I don't even know who played in it! Huh...imagine that.

    I REALLY fucking miss Leandra.

    Meeting time. 
  • don't call it a comeback... 2002-01-31 14:25:52 http://www.kusoyaro.com/yermom/VanillaIce-TooCold.mp3

    Your ears do not deceive you. It's the Iceman himself, during his feeble attempt at revitalizing his career a few years ago. I just dug it up on one of my old mp3 CDs. 
  • you've got that look i wanna know...you've got that look, that hy pro glo... 2002-01-31 13:19:14 Last night was just...awful. Fucking awful, one of the worst nights I can remember. I would have killed for a drink, but there was no alcohol in my apartment and I decided against going out to get some...instead, I contented myself with smoking an entire pack of cigarettes, which I haven't done since a Motley Crue/Megadeth concert I went to in the summer of '00.

    But things are more or less okay again, I guess. As much as they can be. It's been a long time since I've hated someone, but boy oh boy have I found someone to fucking hate. (it's not someone any of you know or have heard anything about) Helpless, impotent hate, too...I'm reminded of Hearts in Atlantis...

    Fuck.



    To kill 3 interminable hours last night I read some more of Terry Goodkind's Faith of the Fallen. It's pretty good, but like the last two Sword of Truth books, it's incredible preachy, this one more so than the rest. There are entire pages where characters stand around talking about society and free will. Not that I'm against intellectual stimulation, but come on, this is a damn fantasy series in which the first volume contained a gratuitous 50-page torture scene. I'm expecting mindless action and fun. I will say, however, that unlike Robert Jordan, Goodkind can spin a narrative. Sword of Truth is approaching Wheel of Time in size and scope, but the difference is that whereas Jordan creeps 20 different characters and threads ahead 2 inches in each volume, Goodkind keeps his focus on 3 or 4 major characters and manages to give each volume a self-contained story. The main plot moves forward at about the same rate in both series, but Jordan bogs his down in details, and Goodkind gives us a reason to read each individual book by giving them an actual beginning, middle and end.

    I bet I'm driving Jen (my cubemate) nuts by munching on baby carrots (rabbit food).

    <several minutes later>
    Bwahahahaha...my crunching must have made her hungry, because she just busted out some food too.

    Duke vs. Carolina tonight. Blow-out time. Not even worth getting drunk over.

    How do you save someone who doesn't want to be saved and has been told all their life that they're not worth saving?

    Busy weekend coming up. Going to see Metropolis in DC Friday, then Saturday and Sunday I need to get a hair cut (first time in 7 months), do some MAJOR cleaning, go Valentine's day and birthday shopping (for two different people), get some insurance nonsense settled, do laundry, watch Duke kick Clemson's ass (sorry again, Phade ^_^), whip up some of my groceries into edible concoctions before they expire, go to the gym, and hopefully finish capturing for Ayashi No Ceres.

    I first met Leandra exactly 8 months ago on this day. On Saturday we'll have been together for 8 months.

    Mmm, Old Bay flavored potato chips.

    Am I upset or aloof right now?
    I don't know. Last night ended on a note of utter, soul-enveloping relief...yet there's still a feeling of something not right. 
  • ooooooooo.....ooooooeee... 2002-01-30 14:56:25 With shame, I have to admit that I just listened to "Wild Nights" by John Mellencamp, and I ENJOYED it. 
  • today I asked for a god to pour some wine in my eyes...today I asked for someone to pour some salt in my life... 2002-01-30 14:40:51 Please let someone know where those lyrics are from (without using Google :P)

    I'm finally getting a decent amount of work here, and now I'm feeling overwhelmed. Not by the amount, but by the fact that I have NO fucking clue what I'm doing. I'm sitting here staring at one 10-page schematic for a board, and a 30-page schematic for another one. For each one I'm supposed to write a large set of diagnostic tests which, when run, will identify any faults in the boards down to a single component. So far I've written about 10 tests, and I have no idea whether or not I'm doing this right. This sucks.

    Oooh, Kraftwerk.
    I dug up some old Mp3 CDs that I burned freshmen year in college (when I went on hours-long Mp3-hunting safaris, downloading just about everything I could find on the network) and now I'm listening to them at work. So far today I've been through Mr. Bungle, My Bloody Valentine, Luscious Jackson, Hum, Chainsaw Kittens, Bob Dylan, The Breeders, and a whole bunch of other stuff I haven't heard in years. And I'm only like 1/10 of the way through my first disc (or 4). Memory lane overload! It's a wonder that every one of Elliot Smith's songs sound nearly identical, but they're all worth listening to.

    Looks like I'm going to go see Metropolis this weekend. 
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