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Captain, we're caught in some kind of stasis field.
2001-12-12 13:17:52
I have words flying around and around in my brain, fragments and pieces of ideas not yet formed. I get the feeling that I've been put "on hold" by the universe. This is one of those pauses between catastrophes (er, events) that we're permitted to enjoy.
I spent part of yesterday and a bit of this morning getting a bit more organized here at work. I actually entered into my palmtop most of the phone numbers and email addresses scribbled upon the post-its that once littered my desk. I put up all of the equipment bins on my bin-wall. I even filled the bins with equipment, thus reclaiming considerable space on the workbench and in my office.
I like being organized, I just hate the effort of getting so.
Reading the reviews from the UK of the Fellowship movie tells me that it'll at least be "pretty good" and has a chance of being "really good." I plan on catching a matinee on the 19th, probably with my friends at the Century 16 theater here in town. Hmm, maybe I should just take that day off as well. No, not a good idea. It'll just be a half-day!
Digital Dilettante that I am, I can't decide if I want to play with iptables, my (temporary) website, Linux From Scratch, one or another of the games I've been playing, data redundancy (what normal people refer to as "backups"), or any of a half-dozen other things I could do with my time here at the office. (I can't do AMV or digital art here, for reasons I won't bore you with.)
Or I could just take a tech-support call at my desk from some guy who's trying to fix his Windows display settings on his home computer. That works too. *sigh*
Tomorrow is effectively Friday for me since I'm taking the real Friday off as vacation time. I have about 5 or 6 days' worth of vacation hours I need to burn by year's end. The bad news is that, as a department of one, there's only one person to call when things break.. even if that person is supposedly on vacation. Job security, what?
Speaking of games, Need For Speed 5 is kinda fun. Even better, it actually does LAN multiplayer without breaking, which is much more than I can say for the last NFS game I picked up, NFS3. The only downside is that I'm not really all that fond of Porsches. I mean, I like 'em, but you have to "like 'em like 'em" to play NFS5 all that often.
What IS it with the numbers 9, 1 and 1? It's an emergency phone number! It's a whole regiment of Porsche models! It's another date which will live in infamy! Weird.
Okay, this is getting out of hand, even for me. And Heather, if you read this, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you, as I often do. -
I'm not mad. I'm merely stability-challenged.
2001-12-10 18:49:05
Just so you all know, I'm not actually mental, suicidal or any of that. As I had to explain to my friend today, I tend to approach journal entries as a kind of unfiltered snapshot of my state of mindlessness. I never go into this textbox with a plan or even a coherent goal, unless I'm going to reply to another entry.
Put another way, this is my brain. This is my brain under an electron microscope. Any questions? (Hmm, what's that sizzling sound? Why's it so warm all of a sudden? And why does something smell DELICIOUS?)
I'm at my best when I'm whimsical. The more I learn to harness the power of my whimsy, the closer I'll get to achieving happiness in life. Mind you, I'm not sure that "power of whimsy" isn't an oxymoron of some sort. It's entirely possible that while I'm not mental I may yet be delusional or otherwise not-quite-right. But it's fun! -
Rollercoaster... of love...
2001-12-10 15:09:58
Stop the ride, I wanna get off. Maybe I should "go hermit" and just get it over with once and for all. The whole highs and lows, on again off again nature of some relationships makes me just want to slam my head in a closing door a few dozen times.
But that's just how I feel right now. I'll be all better later on, probably. Or something else will happen and it'll be "on again" time. Or something. It's possible that I just get way, way too emotionally involved, and take things far too seriously.
Nah, that couldn't POSSIBLY be it, right?
In other non-news, I uploaded my current email sigs list to my homepage at http://home.europa.com/~rael for the enjoyment of the masses. (Har har...)
Other than that, it's just another week of work to survive.
MCWagner: So it's not a new forum exactly, and it's not quite like the letters-go-round. Time for clever old Me to think of some wonderful turn of phrase. Go brain, go!
Gee, I wish I was better read, but my free time tends to be taken up with either more work-like stuff, or aggressively trying to avoid reality. -
The work week draws to a close
2001-12-07 18:14:37
What an interesting day!
Let me get this out of the way: pyro72, that was a mean thing to do to a guy with a tabbed browser. *shudder* Funny, though.
Remember the rollercoaster I keep mentioning? Remember how I keep thinking that I'm not on the ride anymore? Nope, it was just a lull in the looping and swooping and dipping and so forth. Silly me.
Today we had another of those experiences I can't talk about publicly. It was good, though, oh my yes. I could stand a whole slew of events like that, and then some. My life hasn't really been anything to get excited about, until recently. Now my blood starts racing at the oddest moments, for only one reason. That, of course, I cannot talk about here. Fun, though.
In other news, my Linux From Scratch box is behaving surprisingly well. I can't compile Mozilla on the damned thing, but that's probably Mozilla's fault. (I had to do an odd symlink to make the binary package of Mozilla work, too.) Right now the machine is compiling and installing gkrellm, for kicks. Pretty soon I'm going to call this experiment a success, and blow out the box so it can be the next salesfeeb unit. *shrug* I had better do it soon before I get too attached to it.
I'll spare you all the long rant about my history with emotional attachments.
The Missus has a gig tonight, so I get to leave work here in a few minutes to go be with The Rugrats all evening, including the ones she babysits. *sigh* I suppose you can't win 'em all. I LOVE being with my kids, but the others? Oh well.
Let's see, what should I burn onto CD to bring home for the weekend... -
The day can't go by quickly enough
2001-12-06 15:10:30
I got my LFS box to lock-and-load. It's a helluva long process, but at the end you have a completely customized, wholly open Linux rig that you can put anything you want onto, in any way you see fit. I love it!
There is one stupid thing about the LFS instructions, though. They don't warn you to make sure to have some sort of communications software installed. No ssh, no ftp, no lynx or wget. So how are you supposed to download software to run on your new LFS box, huh?
In my case, I burned a huge CD full of source tarballs. I could also have rebooted back to the stub Mandrake install I used to create the LFS system, but that would have seemed too much like a cop-out. Yes, I do think strangely.
MCWagner: As fashion movements go, I supposed the goth scene had its benefits as well as utter embarrassments. I had kind of overlooked the (initial) literary component. I freely admit that almost all of my exposure to that particular subculture came in the form of "I dress this way so I can get laid." Not that I'm against getting laid, mind you, it just seemed to be an undignified motive for going to all that work creating the costumes (er, sorry, wearing the appropriate fashions) and memorizing goth-y catchphrases and terminology. There are always those who tread their own path, and those who blindly mimic. I know precious few of the former and teeming hordes of the latter.
I said it before and I'll say it again now: AMV.org Journals are the new Forums. Hell, it's a kind of sub-sub-subculture! For some reason I want to sing along with Sasami... "I am a pioneer..."
Oh wait, I can't sing. Nevermind. =)
JOURNAL: GreyDuck (Karel Kerezman)
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