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2004-03-24 00:13:56
I'm reaching a point in my life that I never thought I'd reach. I'm actually at a point were I can't take it anymore. I just store all this emotion, and I can't release it. I've forgotten how to. I just want to lay in bed, and cry away my pain, but I can't. Ever since I was taunted as a child for being emotional I closed it out. Never to show a weakness again, and now I pay for it.
Miaka's tired of her life. All the problems she's been having at home, school, etc. She says she wants to get away from it all, just leave everyone, and everything behind. If this is true, then what happens to her friends, what happens to me? Are we goin to be left behind? Am I going to be left alone again? Left in the darkness that only she could keep away from me? I used to think love was dead, something that just wasn't made for me. Then I met her, and low and behold I fell in love with her. But now the darkness that choked me before threatens to ruin me again. I don't want to be left in the dark, not again, not after all I've experianced....... -
What was I thinking?
2004-03-22 10:51:43
Ok people, as you can probubly guess my entries seem to be on the perverted side, and this one isn't any different. I had just got out of the shower last night, and I was shaving my mustashe, when I remembered some info my sister's friend had told me. "All dicks look bigger when they're shaved." So naturally I was curious, and my curiousity always gets the best of me. So I cleaned out my electric razor, and had at it. I was very careful of course, cause I definitly didn't want to nick anything. So I sat there for like half an hour shaving my pubic hair. I must say I did a pretty good job with everything. By the way My sister's friend was right ^^
Now to the topic of my entry. I called Uber bitch Saterday night, because I had to find out why she hated me so much. Luckily enough uber bitch answered, and I asked her about it. Both of us were extremely professional about it all, and it turns out she doesn't really hate me, as much think I'm hindering here daughter's learning. So what it all boiled down to was, when Miaka getting better grades = I can take Miaka on dates again. There was also some talk about Miaka and I making out in school, which her mother brought up. I apologized for that, and told her we had toned it down since then (which we have v.v ) Besides for that it went really well, and alot of my questions were answered.
One last thing before I go, I called Miaka the other day, and we talked for a while before she said she had to go see a friend's cat. This kinda upset me a little. Miaka actually put a cat before me >< That ain't cool, not cool at all. It definitly made me feel inferior. I mean A CAT, like meow meow >< ohhhhhh well, guess I'll just live with it for now....... -
randomness
2004-03-18 09:46:10
I went over to Miaka's yesterday, and it was really fun. Well, not all of it. Miaka had this friend over, that obviously had a crush on her. The nerve of him, hitting on her while I was standing right there. To top it off he cept making these comments, and gave me these dirty little looks. I wanted to shot him, but he was Miaka's friend so I didn't. The the bastard ripped up some of the roses I had given her for valentines day. They were dead, but they must have ment something to Miaka if she still had them.
Finally the asshole left, leaving Miaka and I alone. Unfortunitly I'm gonna leave you in the dark about what happened, cause I don't think she likes me telling you all about those things. If your wondering, we read each others journal ^^; Why, I don't know.
While I'm on the topic of people I hate >< let me talk about Miaka's mother. I was walking with Miaka in the middle school when Her mother, who I will refer to as uber bitch from now on walked up. She seemed real happy to see Miaka, but when uber bitch saw me standing next to Miaka her whole tone of voice changed. She had this whole 'what the fuck you doin here' voice as she said hello to me. Then when uber bitch, and Miaka were leaving the parking lot I could see uber bitch yelling at Miaka. You should have seen the look on my face. I wanted to punch her right there, and just unleash all my frustrations tord her, but I can't, cause miaka is afraid of her not letting us see each other.
- FWM continued 2004-03-16 14:15:15 Where was I? Ohhhhh yes, exploring new territory. My hand slowly slid down the now wide open pair of pants, finally resting on what I was hoping to be her clit, but I wasn't sure seeing my hand was over her underwear. Anyway, using my pointer, and middle finger I put some pressure on the area, and moved my hand around in a tight circle. I'm guessing it didn't really do anything for her, cause she soon brought up the point that she had to go to her friends house for the night v.v *sigh* My inexperiance ruins things again.......
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Friday with Miaka ~.^
2004-03-15 11:48:07
How to start this....... Ok well on Friday Miaka and I had a fight, and I felt really bad about what I had done, so after school I called her and told her I was coming over. When I got there I apologized for what I had done, and we sat there on her couch for a while. I kinda still felt like an ass for what I had done, but I put everything behind me really fast, it kinda sucks. So one moment I'm feeling bad, the next REEEEEAAALLLLLLLYYYYY horny. So I kissed her, and of course When I get goin I get goin.
Soon we were all over each other, but her couch is a little small for two people to lie on. So I brought up the fact that she had a bed in her room. Naturally like three minutes later we were on her bed making out. I must admit that i wasn't completely concentrating on her. My mind was stuck on an age old problem. To remove the shirt, or not? My heart was racing like a hamster being chased by a cat. I wanted to take that next step with her, how ever small it was, but I was scared. I really didn't want to push her into anything, but my dick got the best of me.
My shirt came off, and I sat on top of her, looking for her reaction. I ws really nervous, but soon we were at it again. It went pretty smoothly after that, until she removed her shirt. I began to panic a little, but in a good way. Like the whole this can't be happening thing, seeing Miaka isn't exactly one to do something like that. then to top that of she removed her bra, and there she was..... half naked below me. She was so beautiful lying there with a shy look on her face. I really don't see why she thinks of her self so negatively, cause she be a sexy bitch ^^
Anyway, We went at it for a while, before once again she took another big leap. I had been playing with her right nipple, which has been really sensative lately, causing her to thrash, and moan under me. How I loved it...... anyway, back to the topic. Suddenly she reached down, and undid her Pants!!!!! Holy fuck was my heart racing, but this did not stop me from exploring the territory.
>< I have to go for now, I'll finish the rest tomarrow or maybe Wednesday, I'm not sure ^^; Byez
JOURNAL: sugoroku
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