- tears are not for me 2004-08-20 17:20:51 It's happening again. Why is it I always fall for the ones that hate themselves and don't think they're good enough? I hate it, and I don't want to be hurt the same way I was with caitlin. The stupid 'what if' game. Heather gets all depressed, whenever I talk about Caitlin, even if she's part of the conversation. She keeps worrying that I'll leave her for Caitlin if I got the chance, yet she says she cares. caitlin even tells me that Heather says she's falling for me. You can't love someone if you worry about the future. I will not date another Caitlin, I don't want that pain........
-
*sigh*
2004-08-17 17:33:50
I finally did it, I let her go. There will be no more calls to beg for her to come back to me, or stupid stunts to try the same thing. I really believe she's in love with Nate, which depresses me, but I also fell happy for her. She found someone great, and well, I really don't want to stop that. So I wish the best for the two of them
But hear me out Nate, you hurt her, and I'll rip your very heart from your chest, and smile as I watch it stop beating in my hand. Caitlin is a wonderful girl, and you should feel lucky to have her. There, I'm done ^^
And I guess I could write about this now, seeing everyone seems to know about it *rolls eyes* I'm no longer a virgin. Which doesn't really make me feel any different. It just means I had sex. I know some people make a connection with the one they love by having sex with them for their first time, but I lost that person. I know it would crush Heather if she knew, but I didn't really make that connection with her. It's not that I don't care about her, cause I do, but it just didn't feel right. *sigh* v.v Guess life's just unfair that way. -
I'm sorry.......
2004-08-16 14:42:29
Ok, I have alot of apologizing to do, starting with Souppi, seeing I apologized to Caitlin over the phone.
I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did, and I don't want to lose our friendship over something going on between Caitlin, and I. I guess I was hurt by the way you started yelling at me as if I did something wrong, and sure, maybe the way I attacked this whole brake up was wrong, but my feelings will never be wrong. I will always love Caitlin, I guess I'll just have to find a way to let her go is all. So please forgive me Souppi, your to good a friend to lose........ -
ya....... you get the point......
2004-08-15 15:03:00
White Flag
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it well I'd still have felt it,
where's the sense in that
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were but
I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble,
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then I'm sure that that makes sense but
I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
And you will think, that I've moved on....
I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door,
I'm in love and always will be
-
fuck the lot of you
2004-08-15 14:53:19
You know what? I'm tired of all this shit. Go fuck yourself Caitlin, cause you'll never understand love, and as for Souppi who desided to yell at me about somethin she doesn't understand, I say this, FUCK YOU! I can't wait for you to lose Nate, because then you'll know how I feel, and it will be you who dies slowly every day at the thought of the one you love.
And don't worry about Heather Caitlin, cause we both understand what it feels like to love someone who doesn't want you, and it's that reason why we're together. We understand what real love is, and every day we go through our pain together.
And lets top things off, cause I kinda like this speaking my mind thing. Fuck my dad for leaving me for most my life, fuck god for making my life a living hell, and for taking away the one thing I've loved more than anything, and fuck everyone who reads this journal, when they know it's gonna yell at them, and put them down for the things they've done...
JOURNAL: sugoroku
Current server time: Jul 18, 2025 01:21:24