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Noone shall hear my whispering ...
2005-07-01 19:00:42
Right now there's such a calm feeling within my chest and I'm once again suffering from insomnia. I just returned form a nice little Rockconcert and I'm totally exhausted somehow I'm standing beside me and watching myself falling into an apathic state. Sitting here under the black light in my room I don't really know how to describe what am I going to do. I know I'll be lying awake all night again, damn I'm so glad I have holidays next week beginning on thursday maybe then I can at least sleep a bit during the days as the will fly by. I still can't say what my mind inhales, this everbreathing depression that fills my lungs it's some kind of sleep that I don't like it's like sleeping with full conciousness in a state of awakening. And another thing is the will to get the things done before I leave here which will be very soon. I'm still working on my next video which is already 2:22 long (in case that someone wanted to know that. I think I release that one before the Connichi since I won't make it untill the deadline and I already entered another video into contest. I still have the Footballgame on Sunday coming up, this time I'll be FreeSafty and WideReceiver again, I hope I'll be able to get a touchdown again last time was awesome. Oh well, one day I'll be crushed by all the pressure life holds. Hm ... the atmosphere is getting more and more like I'm going to drown in the amorphic liquid that is my mind. I didn't even drink this evening, but hell it was alot of fun Tormentor was just like always entirely drunk and the others were a bit to euphoric sometimes. I feel like I'm not really able to write anything more right now ... see you around
~Warheart~ -
In the Halls of Awaiting
2005-06-29 16:14:49
Evening full of grandeur, skies tinged with red
Mountains crowned with crimson, treetops with scarlet blaze
As the dusk is falling, night settles in
Stars slowly come out, moon glides skywards
...Still cheerless is in my soul, my heart filled with cares...
Longing for the misty shores, weather-beaten strands so poor
Where the weeping sky archs over water calm
Pining for primeval woods, murky shade of leafy roof
Where the silent trees arch over our path
Do you walk in mourning, still wear the grief
Raiment of sorrow, remembrance of me
Through the years of bleakness, winters of bitter cold
Will you not forget me, forsake my soul
...Low-spirited is my song, downhearted my tune...
Beyond enchanted sea, wistful is my sleep
Darkness by my side, through the dreary night
Will you follow me, through eternity
To another world, to the quiet halls
I've lost my way in the dark, strayed apart from my love
I've faced the demons of might, passed away into shades
Long are lonely years, slowly pass these days
In undying land, in the divine light
Where I wait...in the dark
The black of the night turns to dusk of the dawn
Through the mist now shines the fairest light of all
The caress I've waited for eternity
Into the shades, together we fade -
Yesterworld
2005-06-24 20:19:40
Over the moor of mist and through valleys of fate
I fly on my voyage through this moonlit landscape
Of re-emerged figments of imagination
I am aroused in sleep
Far beyond the gate which reflects in the closed eye
Reveal that a dreamscape lies therein
A yearning for a world
Where the everlost find their peace
In the pearly gates of dawn
On the astral feed of minds, envenomed to the bone
Forever cleansed from all called wrath
As slumber sneaks upon
And steals the thought of man
All ridden from inner aggression
A voyage beyond this world
In this paralell to real life, access lies in dreams
Unveil hidden secrets in our sleep, the key to what's beyond
In the wake of man we see
Essential dreams unfulfilled
Enhance the value of life
Engraved words on the page of man
In the presence of the moon
An owl awakes and calls a name
Tells a story of a world
Accessable only at night
"This ain't no dream..."
Legend tells of a yesterworld
A dreamscape of strange light
"It's your dream coming true"
Transcendance of the soul
All by the sign of the moon
I am eaten away in mouthfuls by flames
That burn in the errors of our ways
In a night when the sky floats blue
As touquoise, and the stars of silver are twinkling
In their outmost pride
Now from dimensions fallen from the skies, like the flow of a stream
From my sleep I continue onward, sleep is just a shape of destiny
Weak sunlight of dawns to come,
Dancing swiftly in the shadows
Shimmering, shining in a landscape of dreams
Landscape of my dreams
Dim reflections of the pale
A shade of grey in mind
In the presence of the moon
An owl awakes and calls a name
Tells a story of a world
Accessable only at night...
"It's your reality..."
Legend tells of a yesterworld
A dreamscape of strange light
"It's much more than a dream"
Transcendance of the soul
All by the sign of the moon
Soon these worlds will be one
And mankind feasts on the sights of it all
I yearn for things to come
Still wrapped in the thrall of slumber
As the mist slippes away to reveal...
And the wind tears a scream from my lips, I am there....
In the dreamscape I adore, a moonclad reflection
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World within the lithargic sphere
2005-06-21 08:53:41
If you trust someone you'll be hurt and left alone in the dark; no one to save you no one to ease your pain and agony. Desperating takes over and you can't win against the overwhelming apathy that blinds your mind. Drowining in selfless thoughts of eternal escape it seems nothing is bittering the defeat within your scard heart thus the sweet essence of death maybe the only way out of the maze your soul has become. Even then there is no way to flee from this depressing daylight misery. There's one thing keeping you from whats the undeniable future closing in, what was the reason that you lost the one precious to you ? Why was there no compassion granted ? There is now way that such fragile binds may tie two fates to live as one, so there is no solution but to remain alone.
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Hm ... I made it to get the one of the opening video for the Connichi-con which will act as a short introduction to the different categories, since this time there will be parted into 4 different categories. I still didn't get the infos but I went trough some tracks to see what audiosource might fit a 15-20 secs long introductory video for the category action. I still haven't decided but I don't want to use a audiofade out but it seems like I have no other choice. -
To what end ?
2005-06-01 16:48:57
Video finished ---> still planning new thingys
Ok now I have a compressed verison that still does not look to good but oh well I'm not that experienced so I'm going to test a few more methods and options. Unfortunatly my avisynth keeps crashing so I have to make everything with virdub only so I'm not able to improve the visual appeareance anymore, and I already deleted the projectdata since after I re-installed amvapp it couldn't be loaded into premiere anymore anyway.
I already planned a bunch of new videos and asked around a bit which ideas might work but in the end I'm not going to make any of those (altough I already decrypted the dvds) since I'm going to work on an older concept I tought about first time I saw the anime, the only thing thats missing is the fitting song. Ok I have several songs but I can't really decide which one I should use (I hate the search for songs). I still have a crappy beta of my X short amv and since I don't have any editable ideas other than that by now, I think I'm going to work on that one, altough I may never release it due to the same reason as Exposures.
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JOURNAL: Warheart (Alexander Otto)
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