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one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.....
2005-01-02 14:48:50
Eric and I were up late watching television and we landed on PBS’ Nova. They were discussing the M Theory, which is some part of quantum physics or something like that. And these geniuses, whoever the bloody blue fuck they are, are preaching the greatness of the M Theory... AND THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT ‘M’ STANDS FOR! These specialists aren’t debating the equations they came up with, or the theories that they’re still testing; they’re debating what the title of their theories means! And what do they decide ‘M’ can stand for? They decided, and I find this incredible, that ‘M’ stands for ‘MAGIC!’ So, our scientific and mathematical futures rest in the hands of these crackpots who create theories and call them magical. Unicorns and Canada are magical; a mathematical theory should be fucking solid as stone.
So, what does the M Theory mean anyways? Glad you asked. Well, after I stopped yelling at the TV for what ‘M’ stands for, I discovered that M Theory tells us that energy moves in strings. Somehow all energy is linked in invisible little strings that no one can see and they move at the speed of light moving particles of energy all around the world. So what is this magic they spoke of? It’s moving shit from one side of the globe to the other in record time. Guess what, we already had this. I like to call it UPS. And these strings carry particles that intersect. They even hit each other. But, since they’re not done theorizing here, there’s a new element in it all. And that element is called the: Sparticle.
Sparticle, a word that sounds like a cross between a spark and a testicle. I don’t know about these theorists, but I like to keep sparks as far away from my testicles as I possibly can. A sparticle is a compliment to atomic particles such as electrons and protons. And when they presented this on the show, there were two things wrong with it. The first was that they had no idea what a sparticle was, because they just made it up because it sounded good to them. The second issue was the image they associated with it. Sparticles are little glowing balls of multicolored light, all different colors. And in the middle of each one is a big white ‘S’. Do you know what a sparticle is? IT’S A GODDAMN FUCKING SKITTLE! These people had the munchies and decided a snack food would be their latest theory! Why don’t I put any stock in this field? Call Nova and ask them for a copy of the program and you’ll understand.
So, after considering all they had to say I could only come to one conclusion: These guys have as much basis in science as the Catholic Church. They make up just as much, they all have their own creation myths, and they all perform stupid rituals (the theorists have weed, and Catholics have…. well, weed). So, our new MAGICAL Theory with sparticles is the cutting edge in science and math. Well, kudos, these people have successfully killed more of my brain cells in one sitting then all the beer in the world could. Next time PBS does a fundraiser, do us all a favor and don’t donate to them. Maybe they’ll just play more reruns of Lamb Chops Play Along.
ttyl humanoids, if I live that long… -
projects
2005-01-01 01:12:46
as a reminder for myself, i'm listing my projects i'm working on / should be working on in here:
1. blood the last vampire to Zero 7 "in the waiting line"
2. flcl to Stephen Lynch "lullaby"
3. berserk to Stephen Lynch "gay"
4. TBA for Anime Boston 2005
5. TBA (various) to Richard Cheese "down with the sickness"
and others i'm sure i should be working on, but whatever.... oh, wait:
6. TBA to Lewis Black - 2005 here we come 2004-12-31 22:08:33 so, it's almost new years for me. can't say i'm filled with excitement that makes my heart explode. 2004 sucked a whole lot. so why shouldn't 2005? well, at least there isn't gonna be an election this year. ugh. sweet somethings humans.
- birthday time 2004-12-29 13:43:46 its my dads birthday today! everyone wish him a happy birthday! wish!
- stripped? 2004-12-26 22:52:49 i don't know anymore..... x-mas is over and.... what the fuck? is it still there, the urge i mean. to do..... anything..... fuck. energy is deffiently lacking, and..... what the hell was that sound? shit. shit. SHIT. nothing seems worth it anymore..... perhaps i'll quit soon. no, not smoking. that was done a while ago. i mean work. i mean MY work. the work i do isn't......... isn't......... me anymore. it all seems to forced. even amv's. why i'm here..... i think i lost it....... somewhere...... maybe over in there....... or....... did you hear that? shit. i don't think it is anymore, because it left me. off.
JOURNAL: odian0 (Matt O'Neill)
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